#i did lots of text translations in college

[marvelouslizzie]

One More Night

Summary: You and Bucky Barnes are fuck buddies for a while. The problem is you have feelings for him but you don't think he reciprocates and it just makes it impossible to continue your relationship. Little did you know how much he wants you and how hard he's trying to keep it casual.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings: +18, friends with benefits, idiots in love, unspoken feelings, miscommunication/misunderstandings, angst with happy ending, unprotected sex, pet names, no mention of y/n

Word Count: 3.4K

All work is mine, please do not repost or translate without my permission.

It is one of those days when you feel absolutely worthless. It wasn’t something you felt often before but now…. It is starting to feel like your new normal. You know it’s your fault, and it just makes you feel even worse. You let this happen when you let Bucky Barnes walk into your life without any consequences. Now he just has a free pass to destroy you anytime he wants. 

It was supposed to be just fun. Something casual because you know he has no intention of settling down. Especially not with you. Not that he said any of those words but he doesn’t need to. You just know it. 

He’s one of the popular guys in your college. It’s not surprising considering how handsome and charming he is. He’s also talented and hard-working. He takes school seriously unlike a lot of people around you. So when it comes to his free time, he just wants to have some fun, no strings attached and you were fine with this arrangement. You wanted to be close to him and this is the price: Your heart breaks every time. 

You don’t blame him but you definitely blame yourself because you put yourself in this position. If you weren’t so pathetic, you could simply say no and this regularly hooking-up arrangement of yours would have ended. Yet you never said no and he never stopped coming back to you. Probably because it’s convenient, you can’t come up with any other reason. Like who says no to an easy fuck, right? That is what you are. An easy fuck. Still, it’s breaking your heart every time he leaves your bed. You say to yourself “This is gonna be the last time” but when the next text or call comes, you fold once again. 

That’s how you ended up here. Your face is buried in the pillow while Bucky is pounding you from behind. It feels good. Actually, it feels pretty amazing. It always does but this time your emotions are overshadowing the physical pleasure. Tears are streaming down your face and you are grateful that he can’t see it thanks to this position. Then a sob escapes your mouth and you feel betrayed by your own body.

“Does it feel that good, doll?” He sounds smug but you can’t answer him. Not while trying to hold the rest of your sobs back. That seems to worry him. He suddenly stops and when he takes a closer look sees that your eyes are filled with tears.

“Hey, hey, hey! Are you alright?” He sounds genuinely worried. You try to say something but instead, more sobs come out. “What happened? Did I hurt you?”

He didn’t physically hurt you, yet you are hurt. You don’t know how to explain this to him. You feel embarrassed and angry at the same time. You pride yourself on how good you are at hiding your emotions. You don’t want anyone to see you cry. You don’t want anyone’s pity. Yet here you are. Eyes filled with tears, sobs escaping your lips and your heart is shattered.

“Please talk to me!” His desperate tone snaps you out of your thoughts. You try to turn on your back and quickly dry your tears. 

“It’s fine. Sorry for killing the mood. I just…” You hesitate for a second but no, you won’t back down this time. “I just can’t do this anymore.”

“That’s fine.” That wasn’t the response you were expecting. “You know it’s okay right?” His worry is so apparent in his voice. “You can always tell me to stop.” What is he talking about? “If you don’t like something or you don’t feel like it anymore… Just tell me next time and I will just stop.”

“There’s no next time Bucky.” The words come out of your mouth before you can process them. You didn’t intend to be so harsh but it came out so definite.

“What?”

“I’m telling you that I can’t do this…” You wave your hand between you two. “...anymore. I’m done. We are done.” 

“What…” He sounds shocked and hurt at the same time. You try to avoid looking at his eyes while he struggles to find the right words. “What are you talking about? Did I do something?”

“You didn’t do anything. It’s all my fault.” You have no intention to blame him. You know it’s on you. He never promised you anything.

“I don’t understand.” He sounds so lost. “Just help me understand what happened, okay? I thought everything was okay.”

“They were, for you. It was never okay for me.” 

You watch how his expression changes into something that breaks your heart even more. You never thought he would care this much but… apparently, he does. Maybe he’s not used to being rejected. Especially in the middle of sex.

“I… I don’t know what to say.” He looks at your face and then around. “I thought this is what you wanted.”

“What I wanted?” You repeat his words without missing a beat. “I never wanted this. This is what you wanted and that’s why we kept doing it. I was just…” You hesitate for a second because you hate to admit it. “weak.”

“Weak? You are never weak.”

“Oh, I am weak. This is why I kept saying ‘one more night’ to myself whenever you called or texted me. I’m weak as fuck and it makes me angry, okay? I shouldn’t be like this.”

“Doll, what are you talking about?”

His confusion confuses you as well. Can’t he see how much he’s hurting you? Is he really that blind or maybe he just doesn’t care.

“This arrangement might be working for you but it’s not working for me, okay?”

“But… this is what you wanted.”

“I never wanted this.”

“You said we can’t get emotions involved!” He sounds somewhat angry this time.

“Because you didn’t want emotions involved!” Your answer comes instantly.

“When did I ever say that?”

His question makes you stop for a second. He never said that but did he really have to? You know how popular he is. Everybody loves him. He has the prettiest face you have ever seen. You desperately wanted to be with him. You didn’t care how.

“Just look at you.”

“What does that even mean?” Is he doing this on purpose? He surely knows everybody wants him. Why does he have to hear it from you?

“It means you didn’t have to say it.”

“How does… I really don’t understand you.” His confusion is written all over his face. The way he hesitates makes you realize you have to say it out loud to make him understand.

“You are handsome. You are talented. Everybody loves you.” He keeps looking at you with confusion. He really doesn’t get it, does he? “You can have anybody you want!”

“Apparently not.” Why does he sound broken?

“Oh, come on!” Your reaction is instant. “You know you can. Don’t act humble. I’m just easier.”

“Easier?” You don’t miss the disbelief in his voice. “Easier?” This time it comes out more angry. “You were never easy!”

“You know what I mean. An easy fu-”

“Don’t you fucking dare!” The tone of his voice startles you. You never heard him talk like this. “I never wanted just an easy fuck. Especially not with you but that was all I could get!” Your head flinches back slightly. What is he talking about? 

“Bucky…” He doesn’t let you continue. 

“I don’t know what has gotten into you because this… what you called it? Arrangement, yes, was never my idea! You were the one who didn’t want to involve emotions. You were the one who said anything more than this would affect our friendship. I never said that!”

“I was trying to protect myself!”

“You never showed any interest to me!”

You blink a couple of times, trying to process that information. What did he think you were doing with him?

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You never showed any interest in staying over. You never wanted to do anything outside the bedroom or wherever the fuck we were fucking. Whenever I tried to take you on a date, you came up with a lazy excuse.”

“Uh… what?”

“I tried so many times, sweetheart. You never let me in. You were only interested in sex and now you are blaming me for it. No. Be honest. If you wanna end this thing, it’s fine. You don’t need any lies. I get it. I knew it would happen eventually.” He’s speaking so fast, you can’t even find any opportunity to interrupt him until he stops.

“You tried to take me on dates?” He squishes his eyebrows together like he can’t believe you are focusing on that part.

“Many times. I suggested study dates, tried to take you on that concert, then that one comedy club thing…”

“I thought…” You don’t know how to finish that sentence.

“You thought what? You knew what I was trying to do and you weren’t interested, so I finally gave up.”

“No, no, no.” You jump from your awkward position on the bed. “I never realized.”

“What did you think I was doing?”

“I thought… they were activities with other… people. Not dates.”

“Why would I take other people to a concert with us?” Oh, he really doesn’t get it.

“I thought… you had plans with your friends and… you were… inviting me as well. Just to show… we are nothing more than friends.”

“Oh, dear god.” He covers his face with both of his hands. “Seriously? Why would you even think that?”

You mimic him and cover your face with embarrassment. You don’t want to say it. Especially not to him.

“I… just never thought…” You don’t know how to say it without making him realize how low you think of yourself. “You were interested in anything more than sex.”

“I’m handsome. I’m popular. Everybody loves me. Is that why?” He repeats your words with that god-awful mocking tone and it hurts to hear. What you don’t realize is that he’s making fun of himself.

“Yeah.” Your response comes out so weakly but he hears it.

He starts to laugh all of a sudden and all you can do is give him a confused look. 

“God you are so blind.”

“Hey!” You instantly respond.

“Have you ever looked in the mirror?” You make a face but it just spurs him. “You are gorgeous and smart. I always thought you were way out of my league.”

“What?”

“You heard me. You are out of my league.”

“Come on… That’s-” He interrupts you again.

“Please.” The way he says it makes you stop talking. “I have been struggling to come to terms with you not liking me. I just told myself, you have done everything you can. You tried so many times. It’s a miracle she still wants to fuck you. I convinced myself this was all I could get so I tried to make peace with it. Now you are telling me you don’t want to keep doing this. What did you think I was gonna think?”

He just baffles you with every word coming out of his mouth. You look at him, not knowing what to say or what to think, even.

“And you thought you were just an easy fuck? Jesus, doll. Do you have any idea how many times I prepared myself for rejection? Every time I called you, I thought you weren’t gonna pick up. Every time I texted you, I prepared myself to hear ‘no’, and every time it did not come, I was the happiest man on earth because I had one more night with you!”

You don’t know when it started but you start to feel tears filling your eyes.

“Please don’t cry anymore.” He moves his hand on your face and catches a tear before it drops on your cheeks.

“I…” It’s so hard to speak normally. “I never thought…”

“What?” This time it comes out softer. You know he wants to hear it because he needs that assurance as much as you do.

“You would actually like me.”

“Like you? Oh, doll… I don’t like you. The word like doesn’t even cover it.” The smile he gives you ignites something inside you. Something you tried to push down for a long time. Suddenly you push him back a little bit and his mouth falls open but he doesn’t get the chance to say anything. You just sit on his lap, taking him back inside you and it slips right back in so easily. It makes you want to moan out loud but instead, you wrap your legs around his torso and trap him there.

“Oh fuck…” His moan is like music to your ears. It’s so raw and unfiltered.

You don’t say anything. Your hand wraps around his neck before you start to move. His hand quickly finds your breasts, squeezing them a lot harder than he ever did before. 

“You are so fucking gorgeous.” He says right next to your ear. You feel his breath on your neck and his lips attach to your neck as if he knows what you want. He starts gently. First, he sucks the skin and makes you whimper. Then his teeth graze the sore skin. When he finally bites the same spot, you realize he was just giving you some time to protest but it never came. His bite pulls a groan out of you and the way it hurts falters your rhythm.

“Sorry, I couldn’t resist.” He licks the same spot, trying to soothe the pain. “There’s a part of me…” He tries to find the right word. “...that wants to mark you. Show the world that you’re mine.” Fuck, is he serious? He stops for another second to ask “Are you mine, doll?” He sounds so nervous yet possessive.

“I am.” You move a little back and look into his eyes while saying that. “I have been for a long time.”

He grabs your cheeks with both of his hands and pulls you in for a long, passionate kiss. It's all tongue and teeth, making you burn with passion.

“I’m yours, too. I think I always have been.” 

It’s your turn to show how much those words mean to you. You start to move again on his lap. This time it’s faster than before and it just makes both of you moan loudly. He wraps his arms around your body while he supports your movement by grabbing your ass and moving you a bit faster than before.

“Shit!” It feels good but it also restricts your range of movement and he realizes it quickly.

“Sorry. I just want to feel you all over me.”

You want to say it’s alright but he’s a lot faster than you. Suddenly you find yourself on your back. Bucky’s still between your legs. He never left inside you while changing the position. 

“Wrap your legs around me, baby.” 

God, the way he says it sounds like a soft order. You can practically feel the desire running through your veins. Your legs are automatically wrapped around his ass while he starts to move but he doesn’t put any distance between you. His whole body is pressed against yours while he’s kissing and licking all over your neck.

Sex with Bucky never felt like this. It was always good. You don’t remember any occasion you didn’t enjoy it or reach orgasm. Yet this feels like real intimacy. The way he’s making you feel is indescribable. You can feel everything he said before while he moves inside you. How much he wants you, how much he adores you… The way he clings to you fills you with love. All of it enhances the physical pleasure. Loud moans escape your lips.

“So… All this time…” Bucky starts to talk. “You thought I was here because this is easy.”

Ah, fuck. He isn’t gonna let that go, is he? You should’ve known that. You roll your eyes in response but he doesn’t see it. His head is still buried in the crook of your neck.

“All this time… I was where I wanted to be.” Your annoyance quickly fades away as he keeps talking. “Underneath your body.”

“You weren’t always underneath me.” You answer him with a playful tone.

“As long as I’m inside you, the position doesn’t matter.”

“So…” You try to ask as quickly as possible before your sudden courage disappears. “You haven’t been sleeping around with anyone else.”

He raises his head just to look into your eyes. 

“All this time, you thought I was fucking other people?”

“I mean…” You were just friends with benefits. What else you were supposed to assume?

“Were you?”

“Was I what?”

“Fucking other people?” His question is a lot more blunt than yours.

“I asked first!” You sound so defensive all of a sudden.

“I can’t live without touching you, smelling you, feeling you… I have been craving you non-stop, only stopping myself from calling you every day, just so I wouldn’t scare you away and you are asking me if I have been fucking other people. Jesus Christ, doll. How blind are you?”

You are questioning the same thing yourself, to be honest. How blind were you? While trying to surpass your feelings, you were overlooking his, as well. It’s just unbelievable.

“Doll?” You didn’t realize you were lost in thoughts. “It’s fine if you have been.” It doesn’t sound fine at all. It sounds like he’s trying to rationalize it so it would hurt less. “I’m not saying I won’t be jealous but it’s not like we were actually together.”

You start to laugh and he gives you a strange look.

“You are such an idiot and you call me blind.”

“What?”

“I only ever wanted you, you moron.” 

His smile is so big and bright, it’s worth everything you two went through. His happiness is practically radiating. Suddenly, his lips are on yours, kissing you like a madman.

“You’re only mine.” He starts to move inside you again and you can feel how close you are to coming.

“Only yours.” Your words make him groan loudly. 

“Fuck that mouth of yours. You’re gonna make me come before you.”

“You can do that later.” You tease him while moving your hips to meet him.

“Is that a promise?”

“It can be. Only if you fuck me just a little harder so I can finally come!”

That makes him move away from you. He stands up and without losing any time, pulls you on the edge of the bed. You know what’s coming and it makes you smile like a fool. He positions himself between your legs while pushing your knees on your chest. In a couple of seconds, he’s back inside you but the position feels so much better this time. A loud moan leaves your lips every time he hits that sweet spot inside you.

“Harder, huh?”

“Yeah. Just like that.” It’s so hard to not roll your eyes with the pleasure he’s giving you. It’s familiar yet it feels so different this time.

“My girl wants it rough. Why didn’t you just say so?” He sounds cocky there’s also a hint of eagerness in his voice. You can tell he’s close.

“Do I have to tell you everything?” 

“From now on, yes. You have to tell me everything.” That authoritative tone pushes you over the edge. “Every fucking thing you feel, okay? Every fucking thing you want. I wanna know everything!”

“Yes!” You practically scream. You don’t know if you are answering him or just screaming because of the way he makes you feel. Your legs are shaking violently while your whole body tightens up. “Fuck yes. Please, please, please, don’t stop!” Your eyes are closed while you are riding your high.

That makes him groan so loudly. Even though you can’t directly look at his face anymore, you just know he’s about to come. He starts to pound on you so forcefully, it just unlocks another level of orgasm for you. Both of your moans fill the room and he keeps going until he empties himself inside you. After what feels like an eternity, he pulls out of you and lays right next to you.

“Fuck, that was…” The struggles to find the right word.

“On another level?” You offer to end the sentence for him. That’s exactly how you feel.

“Yeah.” He doesn’t miss a beat. “We should’ve talked to each other before.”

“We were busy doing other stuff.” You smile and he smiles back, knowing exactly what you mean.

“I guess we did everything other than talking things through, huh?”

[neeeooon]

hihii i really loved your bllk characters x nonverbal reader and i was thinking can u make a part 2 with rin sae reo and nagi

tysm!!

yes! sorry it took so long ml 🤍 pt 1 here!

when you’re nonverbal pt 2

bf bllk x nonverbal gn!reader

itoshi rin

-> you were bullied relentlessly as a child, and it was always worse when you tried to defend yourself with words, so you stopped talking

-> you liked that people thought you were deaf. it meant they wouldn’t talk to you. until you were trying to order lunch at the restaurant counter when the man behind the counter suddenly started signing to you

-> you blinked, surprised, and with a blank face, the man explained, i studied sign in school. what do you want to order?

-> sorry, i was thinking, you signed back, earning you an exhale from the man. his name tag read rin, and the more you stared at him, the more familiar he looked. are you in sano’s history class?

-> after that, you and rin would meet up after class to study together in silence. it was nice, as he didn’t seem to mind you presence. when you’d struggle with a question, you circled the number and handed your paper to run so he could try and tackle it together

-> as your boyfriend, rin’s the one asking you for help solving problems. you eventually told him you weren’t deaf, but he claims to like the quiet. he’ll even massage your hands and arms after long days when you have to talk a lot

itoshi sae

-> sae can’t help but notice you. you’re new to the team, and not only do you seem shyer than the other managers, but you don’t introduce yourself like the rest

-> during practice, he sees you anxiously trying to get his teammate’s attention by waving your arms while holding a white board with his number on it. sae locks eyes with you, confused as to why you aren’t shouting like the rest of the managers do, and nudges his teammate before pointing in your direction

-> you catch him after practice and flip the white board for him to see the words: i’m mute. thank you for your help earlier :)

-> from then on, sae can’t help but keep you in his peripheral. it’s not that he thinks you need help or are at a disadvantage, it’s that helping you makes him feel good. like he’s accomplishing something

-> as your boyfriend, sae continues watching over you. he’s there the second it seems like someone’s about to give you a hard time and “handles” it for you

-> you honestly appreciate it more than you should, since you can still hear despite people thinking you can’t. their words may be harsh, but sae’s gentle knuckle running down your cheek or jaw is enough to lift you back up

mikage reo

-> reo hired the best sign language specialists in the area to teach him after seeing you communicate with another student with your hands. you were smiling when you did, and he immediately wanted to be one of the reasons you smiled

-> so after months of studying, reo waved you aside after class and introduced himself in sign language. the gesture made you laugh, and you quickly explained that i’m not deaf, just selectively mute

-> embarrassed, reo verbally apologized for the confusion and moved to leave when he felt a gentle tug on his sleeve and turned to see you beaming up at him. are you free after class?

-> though you could hear him, reo still signed when he spoke to you. he claimed it was for practice, but he saw the way your eyes drifted to his hands even when he used his words to talk to you. you seemed more comfortable reading sign language than listening, even if you never said so, so reo was determined to continue practicing for you

-> as your boyfriend, reo is super extra with his expenses. he buys you thinks like text-to-speech machines and translators, and while you appreciate it, you don’t need them. you’re so extra, you sign, and his laugh is a sound you’ll never get tired of hearing

nagi seishiro

-> you think he’s cute and decide to write a note for him. you sit beside him in one of your college classes, so it was easy to slip the note to him before he had the chance to fall asleep

-> after nagi reads it, he looks up at you and stares until your face flames. then, he flips the small sheet of paper over and scribbles on it before sliding it back to you

-> wyd after class? it reads, and you beam in success. still, you decide it’s only fair to give him a heads up about what to expect and rip another sheet of paper out of your notebook. fyi i’m mute. i can hear you speak but won’t be able to respond. still wanna hang out? he flashes a thumbs up before tucking his head into the crook of his arm and dozing off

-> as your boyfriend, your favorite thing to do with nagi is laze around. using your hands to speak all day is exhausting, so any chance you get to relax and be comfortable with him is enough

@pinkymangacaps

[ladyylesbian]

Sorority Rules (18+)

Pairing: dom!wandanat x sub!fem!original character

Summary: ‘New Year, New Me’ can start in September...right?

Warnings: MINORS DNI! Pet names, mommy kink, daddy kink, reader has a name? (Honestly idk anymore, tell me if I missed something?)

Word Count: 11.2k

A/N: This really was just me proving something to myself, but I hope you enjoy it all the same :) Continuation of this story is on AO3

you do not have permission to translate/repost my works anywhere! all mistakes are mine and mine alone. likes, comments, and reblogs are always welcome & appreciated <3

Freshman year left you beat down on the floor. You had been roomed with a girl named Hela. The two of you had hit it off instantly. In fact, you spent so much time together that everyone would know if they found one of you, then they could find the other nearby, definitely helped that you somehow had the exact same class schedule. By the end of the first semester, Hela asked you out and one week later, she asked you to be her girlfriend. 

What was the happiest month turned dark and lonely. Hela spent more and more of her time focused on her sorority since being officially accepted. She had set completely insane restraints on you. You had to text her every hour whenever you were apart, it didn’t matter that she wouldn’t acknowledge your messages. She even would rarely show up at the dorm room to sleep, claiming that the sorority house was where she needed to be, but demanded a picture of you in bed every night. 

You had long since given up expecting to see her anywhere but during classes, however, when she sat down with the other girls in her sorority looking you right in the eyes as she did, you finally broke. That was your time together and she was so obviously picking them.

That only snowballed into her eating lunch in the quad with them too. She took you to a few sorority parties and introduced you to her ‘favorite person’ and sorority big sister, Carol. The two were attached at the hip which quickly left you to nurse a drink off in the corner. 

You didn’t have the backbone to say anything, blindly hoping she would realize how much she missed you and run back.

It wasn’t until right before the end of year finals that Hela had stayed back in the dorm room once again. The two of you would study nonstop and laugh and joke. Everything you had spent months wishing for was happening. The girl you liked was back.

After finishing your last final before Summer break, you waited for her in the hallway. Less than 15 minutes later she pushed open the classroom door and stepped out. You locked eyes and she rushed up and gave you a hug. “Thank you so much, Madelyn. I really could not have passed these finals without you.”

Smiling warmly at the raven haired girl, “Always. It’s you and me all the time. I couldn’t show up to sophomore year without you next to me.”

Her eyes fell downwards before slowly reaching yours again. “About that, Madelyn, I think we should end things. You are just in such a different place than me and I am changing my major, so we won’t be in the same classes anyways. Not to mention, you can really blow up my phone and I am just not into that. But thank you so much for the help this year.” You can’t help but stare at her wide eyed, blinking repeatedly as you try to process her words. She pats your cheek before turning around and walking down the hall “Have a good summer!”

The only thought running thought your mind is ‘what the fuck.”

-

You cannot believe this day is finally here, sophomore year of college. After a thoroughly disastrous freshman year, you are determined to completely turn your life around. A new roommate, new classes, if you can be picky, then hopefully a solid friend group will be thrown in there too. 

It was still a few days before the actual first day of classes, but you wanted to get into your new dorm and settle in. There were quite a lot of other students with the same idea, all unpacking their parents cars that were stuffed full. You quickly paid the taxi driver and hopped out the back seat. He opened the trunk and lifted your suitcase onto the road. 

Dragging your bag up the sidewalk and settling in the line waiting for the booth to find your new dorm room and collect the room key. You look around, wondering if your new roommate is in this same crowd, thinking if her parents are holding back tears as they hug her goodbye. 

Thankfully, before you can stumble too far down that path, you reach the front of the line. “Name and year?” 

“Oh, uh, Madelyn Andrews. Sophomore.” She flips through the pages and finds your name with ease. Looking down into her organized box of keys, she picks up on set, “Room 616.”

With a soft smile, you accept the key and head towards the sophomore dorms.

Thankfully, there’s an elevator in all the dorm buildings once you’re no longer a freshman. You always joked that it was the university’s way of hazing the entire freshman class. 

The slow elevator had you wondering if you could have walked the stairs and ended up there faster, but eventually, opened onto the sixth floor. You held your breath as you walked up to your door. 

Pressing your ear against the wooden surface and straining to try and hear any movement. It sounded completely empty inside. With a quick ‘thank you’ to the skies above, you push the key into the lock and turn, opening the door. 

Unsurprisingly, it is the same layout as your freshman year dorm, not that you were superstitious, but in the spirit of completely turning your life around you opted for the bed on the right this time.

It didn’t take more than an hour for you to put away your clothes and set up the small mementos of your friends from back home. Walking back over to your suitcase, you pull out a small blanket that barely is long enough to cover your legs and hide it under your pillow. 

Laying on your new bed and scrolling your university’s Instagram page, trying to find something to do that can pass the time. That’s when you see there is an early bird trivia event being hosted at the student center in ten minutes. 

Taking a second to think, you come to the conclusion that this is the perfect chance to meet new people. Reinvent yourself as someone social, someone beyond only one friend turned girlfriend. 

Softly pushing yourself off the elevated bed, you walk over to the shared closet and pull out your favorite white crew neck in case the temperature drops after sunset. With an unbalanced turn, you spin around and pull on your black and gray checkered vans. Hopping over to the mirror to give yourself a fast once over then heading straight out the door.

It’s only a short walk to the student center from your dorm this year, which you’re thankful for, perfect for meeting new people. 

Remembering how heavy the student center door is, you pull hard on the handle. The universe must be laughing at you because that seemed to be the wrong choice. The usually heavy door was light this year and you have just thrown the door as wide as it would go, causing a decently loud sound. 

A few students near the door look at you, but thankfully the other students further into the building haven’t seemed to notice a thing. Which is where the trivia is being held, so you awkwardly walk through the doors and inside.

“Hello, welcome to early bird trivia: musicals. Are you joining a team or registering a new one?” states a wide eyed brunette woman. 

“Oh, I didn’t know we had to have a team..” you begin to look around for anyone you might vaguely recognize. “Not a worry, dear. We have another girl looking for a team too. You two can partner up.” She starts to wave over a blonde, who’s smiling bigger than you would think possible.

She continues, “This is..” she pauses waiting for you. “Madelyn.” 

“And she needs a team as well. So, what will the team name be?”

Before you even have a moment to think of something clever, the blonde speaks up, “Mac n Cheese Lovers.” You cannot help but snort at her abruptness. The brunette hands you a paper and pencil to write down your answers on, “Good luck ‘Mac n Cheese Lovers.”

Following the blonde over to a table near the smoothie bar along the left wall, as she sits down she introduces herself, “Hey. My name is Yelena. I hope you like Mac n Cheese or this team name will be super awkward,” she snickers.

You shake your head slightly, “The name is perfectly fitting. I’m a huge fan,” you laugh, “My name is Madelyn. It’s nice to meet you. So what year are you in?”

“Sophomore,” the blonde replies, “How about you?”

“Same, sophomore.” The two of you continue with small talk for a couple minutes until you hear the game host start speaking. He gives a quick introduction of his name and lets everyone know he’s the student activity director, so he plans all university approved events. Which leads him to a quick warning that means no drinking or drugs at these events since he’s required to report them to the Dean. Then, he gets into the trivia rules.

Once he finishes, Yelena leans over to you, “We have to win. Or at least beat my annoying sister and her girlfriend.” 

You raise your eyebrow at the woman, “If you knew people, how come you didn’t team up with them?”

She waves off your question before pointing them out, “See those two redheads? That’s them. They are insufferable at any sort of competition. We need to show them up and win, so I hope you’re a musical lover because I am most certainly not a musical theater major,” she chuckles as she finishes her sentence.

“They do look insufferable,” you agree with the blonde, “and lucky for you, while I am not a musical theater major, I am a lover of Broadway, so get ready to kick some ass.”

Yelena claps you on the back and laughs, “I like you, Madelyn. Let's do this.”

“Okay, everyone, first question. What musical movie has the song ‘It's the Hard-Knock Life’?”

You quickly write down ‘Annie’ on the paper next to the number one as he repeats the first question.

“Second question, the musical Hairspray is set in what American city?”

Once again, you write down ‘Baltimore’ immediately next to the number two as he repeats the question. 

And the process repeats itself all the way to the end. You, unsurprisingly, knew every answer, besides two. Thankfully Yelena seemed very confident in the answers, which led you to learning that while she was not an overall musical lover, she was obsessed with ‘SIX’, claiming ‘they all should have just murdered that idiotic king’. 

By the end, you and Yelena are laughing together and being shushed by other teams around you trying to think. Yelena pays them no mind while she tries to watch and see if her sister and her girlfriend are guessing the answers correctly by the way she’s writing. You tried to tell her that would be impossible to know, but the blonde paid you as little mind as she did the surrounding teams. 

Finally, the host announces for everyone to settle down and starts going over the list of correct answers. Yelena is practically levitating off the seat with how excited she is. Your team got every question right. “Okay everyone, count up your total of correct answers.” He waits a few seconds before beginning again, “raise your hand if your team got more than five correct.”

Faster than lightning, Yelena's hand is in the air, yours follows quickly. “Raise your hand if your team got more than ten correct.” Three other teams' hands go down. “Raise your hand if your team got more than fifteen correct.” Another two teams’ hands lower. Leaving your team, two other teams, and Yelena’s sister’s team, much to the blonde’s annoyance. 

“Raise your hand if you got more than seventeen correct.” One team puts their hands down. “Raise your hand if you got more than eighteen correct.” The other team drops their hands. Making the final two teams, ‘Mac n Cheese Lovers’ and ‘Traitors’, if you were to believe Yelena. 

“Looks like we have a tight race everyone, how exciting, keep your hands up if you got all twenty questions correct.” A moment of tense silence falls over the room, the redheads slowly lower their hands. A loud, piercing scream sounds off beside you, “Yes! Ha! I won! So much for ‘Yelena you don't know anything about musicals. Go find your own team’.” The blonde begins doing her victory dance as you laugh. She grabs your hand and motions for you to victory dance with her. And how could you say no when you are equally excited about the win.

“We have our winners, everyone congratulations to..” the host drags off his sentence.

“Mac n Cheese Lovers!” the two of you say while laughing and dancing together.

“Congratulations to ‘Mac n Cheese Lovers’. Thank you to everyone for coming out and starting off this year with a bang! I will see you at the next activity!” Slowly everyone staggers out of the student center and into the night as you’re exchanging Instagrams with Yelena and saying your goodbyes. 

Not even three steps away from the table, you hear someone speaking to Yelena, “Clearly, you didn’t win with your own lack of knowledge. So, what’s her name?” Not wanting to look back and have them know you’re listening, you keep walking as you hear Yelena reply “Madelyn. Why?”

Cursing yourself for not slowing down because now you’re too far away to keep trying to listen, you look over your shoulder right before walking out the doors. Locking eyes with two pairs of green eyes staring back at you.

-

Spending most of your days walking around campus and figuring out the quickest way to each of your classes, then finding a second route.., and a third route, just in case. Eventually making your way to the cafeteria since it’s the only food place open on campus until classes begin and sitting out in the quad people watching as more and more people arrive. You haven’t met up with the blonde, or the two mysterious redheads, you met at trivia since. However, you are often sending memes back and forth which you take as a small step towards your first new friend of the year. 

It’s officially one day until classes start and you still haven’t met your roommate. You have considered walking back to the welcome booth and asking if you even have a roommate since it’s extremely uncommon to not be moved into the dorms by this time. 

As much as most people would love to strike luck and get a free single, that is the absolute last thing you want. 

The universe finally seems to answer your silent worrying and wishing as you hear someone fumbling with the keys outside your door. Quickly, you hop from the bed and rush to open the door. Coming face to face with a dark haired brunette.

“Oh, good, you’re moved in already!” Taken aback by the woman’s words, your focus shifts between her and the large number of boxes next to her in the hallway.

“Do, uh, do you need help?”

“That’d be great. My name’s Kate. You’re Madelyn, right?”

A wave of shock hits you at hearing someone you’ve never met know your name. Seeing the look on your face causes Kate to laugh. She starts to shimmy inside and you hurriedly move to the side, so she can walk in easier. Once she’s in, you step out of the room and pick up one of the boxes. “It is, yeah. So, where do you want this?”

“You can just throw everything on the bed.”

It doesn’t take long for the two of you to move everything into the small dorm. Laughing as you both try to move around with the now limited floor space since Kate’s bed was quickly filled up with boxes. 

After an offer to help the brunette unpack her things, you figure out she is quite uncaring about her clothes, but she is very particular about her bow. You learn she joined the school archery team last year, but already stands to make captain for her second year. 

She tells you about how last year, on a dare, she hit the bell tower with an arrow. “So, you were the one who caused the crack in the bell tower?” Covering your mouth to try and hide your laugh. She looks at you with wide eyes, “I can’t confirm or deny which clock tower it was.”  

Which only causes you to lose all control and laugh wildly out loud. 

-

Successfully surviving the first four weeks of your second year in college, you get to celebrate at the first football game of the season. Thankfully, Kate is not into the sorority scene like your ex was, so you can go to the game together rather than alone.

With your back against your bed and your feet up the side of the wall, you’re waiting for Kate to get back from her archery practice. She made captain last week which led to you both sneaking out of the dorm at midnight and walking to the nearest pizzeria for a celebratory pizza. Your memory was promptly interrupted by the door slamming into the wall, “Shit. Sorry.”

Laughing at Kate’s mumbled apology to the girls next door who always complain about you two being unnecessarily loud. The brunette throws her sweaty t-shirt at your face which you quickly launch back at her as she softly shuts the door. 

“Hurry up and get ready, Bishop. The game starts in thirty minutes and you smell like a wet dog.”

“Your words are so sweet. Dipped in honey I would say,” Kate’s words laced with sarcasm as she playfully flips you off while kicking off her shoes. 

“Only in honey? You don’t get the soft rose petals or melted chocolate too?” Your words only earn you a deadpan stare from the archer. With a grunt, you push yourself off the wall and sit upright, “Don’t forget that tonight is a black out game, so you need to be in all black to show support.”

“Oh yes, I would hate not to show support. Unfortunately, all my black clothes are currently dirty-”

“I know, which is why I took the liberty of doing our laundry earlier today. Your outfit is laid out on the bed.” You say with a smile and move to make your fingers into the shape of a heart.

Kate can’t help but roll her eyes and laugh, “Of course, you did.” Walking up to her shower bag and picking it up, she heads to the door. “I will be back in no less than 10 minutes, Sargeant,” winking at you, knowing you hate the nickname, before quickly mumbling out, “and thank you for doing my laundry. You’re the best.” and walking out of the room.

Rushing a quick ‘You’re welcome’ out before the door shut. You begin getting dressed yourself, deciding on a black halter top and some black jean shorts with your black high-top converses. Throwing your hair up into a high ponytail, then pulling out your baby hairs so you don’t look like an egg.

True to her word, Kate walks back in 10 minutes later as you put headphones in and stare at the ceiling, you give your roommate privacy to get ready. 

Feeling your headphones ripped out of your ears causes you to face the archer as she smiles, “How do I look? Andrews approved?” Kate stands in front of you in black long sleeve cropped top and blacked ripped jeans.

Jokingly, you raise an eyebrow at her, faking a moment of contemplation before returning the smile, “You look hot. You will definitely grab whoever’s attention you want.”

“I don’t want anyone's attention, '' the brunette scoffs.  

“Sure you don’t and I don’t hope that my 7am professor is sick on Monday,” you retort.

“I don’t even think she is gonna be there,” Kate starts pulling on the sleeves of her shirt, “I don’t think football games are her thing.”

You take a moment to consider what to say. It’s been months since you had a crush on anyone and wanted to try and impress a girl. When you first found out your roommate started crushing on someone, you had been relentless in attempting to have her confess who it was. But as stubborn as you were, Kate was also head strong in keeping her secret. 

“Her loss then. We can post a picture and she’ll see everything she misses out on by skipping the game,” you wink. Linking arms, you and Kate walk out of the dorm and head to the field. 

The first stop you both make is the concession stand since food is the top priority any time the two of you leave the dorm together. Ordering you both an ICEE, yours being coke flavored and Kate’s cherry, and a hot dog each. 

Once arriving at your seats, you turn around and ask the girls behind you if they could take a picture for you. You both hold up your ICEEs, smiling as you cheer for the picture. 

Kate posts the picture on her Instagram, tagging you, and captions the post ‘I’m only here for the ICEEs’.

Quickly commenting ‘and my amazing company’ under her post. Then posting the picture onto your story with hearts underneath.

It’s not until the third quarter that you both finally relent and head to the bathrooms. While standing in line chatting about nothing and everything, the archer tenses beside you and presses herself between you and the wall, “what are yo-”

Kates proceeds to shush you and shrinks further into her hiding spot. Looking around to try and see what has your roommate acting so strange, you come up short since you don’t recognize anyone.

That is until you glance over to the concession line and notice Yelena, who you met your first day back on campus. Quickly turning around to Kate, “Oh, Kate. Do you remember how I told you I met this hilarious girl my first day back?“ You point over to the blonde, “She’s right there. Her name is Yelena.”

The brunette’s face pales suddenly. Worry rushes through you and your eyes immediately start scanning for what’s upset your friend so badly. Until it clicks, “Kate…Oh, Katie,” you start to whisper, “ is Yelena who you have a crush on?”

Her eyes met yours and you can tell you’re right. “I totally know her. I can introduce you if you want. Granted, I haven’t actually spoken with her for over a month, BUT we regularly exchange memes.”

Before Kate could give any response to you, you feel a tap on your shoulder and turn around.

“Madelyn, I thought it was you! How have you been?” Yelena says with a big smile on her face.

“I’m great. Settling into my classes and wishing I didn’t sign up for a 7am lecture that I completely don’t understand and will need to find a tutor for, the usual. How about you?”

As the blonde opens her mouth to reply, she notices Kate, “Bishop? Madelyn and Bishop? You two know each other?” .

“Roommates,” You both say at the same time before you continue, “We’re roommates. How do you know Kate?”

“She’s my lab partner,” she leans around you and looks at the brunette, “We have a project coming up and I’ve been meaning to reach out and figure out a time that works for you,” she runs her fingers through her blonde hair nervously.

A sneaky smile goes across your face, realizing that Yelena also seems to have a crush on Kate.

The archer stands up suddenly at her crush’s words, “I have archery practice most days, but I’m free on Tuesdays after 3pm, if that works.” 

Yelena simply smiles back, “Tuesdays are great, except, I’m in class until 4. How about you come to my apartment, it’s five minutes from campus, and we can eat and start our research?”

“Off campus?”

“Yeah, my sister and her girlfriend wanted to have a secluded place away from the sorority and invited me to stay there too.”

You nod, listening to the two speak while also trying to give them privacy by looking anywhere else in the slowest moving restroom line.

Suddenly, Yelena’s phone goes off, “Speaking of the devil,” she answers.

You can’t hear whoever it is super well over the crowd cheering at what must have been the best touchdown of the game but once they quiet down you hear that voice again from trivia night, the redheaded sister of Yelena.

The blonde turns over her shoulder to look near the concession line she just came from, “I just want a coke.” You look over in the same direction as Yelena, “No, I don’t want anything else. I will be right back. I was just saying ‘hey’ to Madelyn and Bishop. Get your underwear out of a twist. I’m heading back now. Bye.”

Your heart leaps out of your chest when you finally notice the redhead in line. Making eye contact with her deep green eyes for longer than normal which causes Kate to nudge your shoulder as it’s finally your turn to walk into the restroom.

“Sorry,” you mumble to your roommate before turning back with one final look, receiving a wink from both women.

Kate gives a quick goodbye to Yelena before she walks away and then pushes you through the door.

Your roommate tries to ask you about it in the restroom, but you firmly shut down that topic and turn the conversation around on her. If you had known her crush was on Yelena, then you would have tried long ago to set them up on a blind date. Which is probably why the brunette didn't say who she was spending her days thinking about.

Making your way back to the seats, thankfully, without running into anyone else, you try to wipe the redhead’s face out of your memory, feeling incredibly embarrassed for your behavior when seeing her. 

The last quarter of the game passes in a blur that you aren’t even aware the game ended until you notice the football players celebrating on the field and groups of people moving around you to leave at the same time. You glance up to the scoreboard and see the score, 30-28, your team winning.

Pulling out your phone, you swipe to pull up Instagram and post the scoreboard to your story, ‘our blood, our sweat, your tears’.

Linking your arm with Kate to make sure neither of you get lost on the way out of the stadium, the cool fall breeze whips at your shoulders the second you make it outside, but you welcome it after squeezing against every sweaty jock trying to get out of the stadium at the same time.

The two of you quietly laugh together when you look back to see people squeezing through the doors you just came through. 

Neither of you are paying attention and accidentally bump into someone, to your dismay it was Yelena’s sister. Your body goes rigid at the sight of her. A scowl on her face until she settles her eyes on you then she gives you a soft smile.

“So, so, so sorry about that. We should have paid more attention.” The redhead’s smile slowly grows bigger as you continue talking. “Sorry again.”

You go to turn away and drag Kate along when you feel a warm hand softly wrap around your bicep, “No, I should be ashamed for not giving you more attention when you’re around,” smirking slightly at you.

A small blush rushes to your cheeks, opening and closing your mouth a few times before giving a gentle nod to the woman before turning around again.

Once you are out of hearing range from the redhead, Kate starts laughing, “Oh, you’re like a fly trapped in the spider's web.”

With a quick glare to your roommate and a prompt slap to the arm, “Shut up.”

-

As you lay on your bed, winding down your night time routine, you decide to scroll Instagram. Liking posts from your roommate and best friend, Kate’s, account. You didn’t think you would get as close to the girl as you had, but the two of you got along surprisingly well. Usually, you would be watching a new episode of Grey's Anatomy together tonight, however, Kate finally gathered her nerves and asked out Yelena, her lab partner, on a date. 

Squealing and bouncing in your tiny dorm room bed, “Shut up! You did it? You finally admitted you have a crush on her?”

“I wouldn’t go that far!” The brunette laughs in response, “I just asked if she would want to go out to the new ax-throwing bar that just opened up.” She throws herself down on her back onto your bed, frowning and sounding much more somber. “But, Madelyn, Yelena asked if we could go this Thursday. She has to go to the sorority party this Friday.”

Moving around until you're laying down shoulder to shoulder with her, “Psh. Don’t even start, you are going and maybe even getting a second date for Friday.” Wiggling your eyebrows at her and shoving your body slightly into her. 

“If that happens, then you’re coming with me. You need to get out and finally move on from your ex.” Placing your hand over your heart, you playfully scoff and wave off a mumbled agreement, trying to steer away from another possible conversation to find out who your ex is.

Smiling as you recall the memory, you suddenly hear the door to your dorm unlock. 

Kate whispers to someone in the hall, who you assume to be Yelena, “Of course, I’d love to. See you tomorrow.”

Quickly, she walks in and immediately places her back on the door to close it. A wide grin on your roommate's face as she looks over to your bed. First kicking off her shoes, then running to jump into your bed. You stare at her, waiting for her to begin.

Kate sighs before exclaiming, “SHE ASKED ME OUT TO THE SORORITY PARTY TOMORROW!” Wrapping your arms around your friend as you jump together over the great news.”Get ready, Madelyn, you and I are going to a party!”

“Wait, Kate,” You pull back to look at her wide eyed, “I thought you were kidding.”

-

The party started at least an hour ago, but because of your indecisiveness on what to wear, which ended up just being a simple v cut blue dress with white high tops. As you both walk up, you stare at the brick house bursting with music. You hear Kate talking, “Party Rules 101. Don’t forget not to go upstairs with anyone. Do not accept a drink from anyone who is not me. I know you will want to leave early, so do not go without telling or texting that you’re heading out either. Okay?”

You blink a few times before you recognize she wants a reply, “Got it.” She smiles at you and takes your hands before walking up the porch steps.

Kate knocks on the white door. You wonder how anyone would be able to hear the knock inside with how loud the music is playing, but not even five seconds later the door is open. The sound of the music makes you take a step back. Anxiety washing over you instantly as you look down. You don’t even hear the words spoken between your friend and the redhead opening the door. 

Kate’s hold on your hand tightens in hopes to reassure you before she pulls you along to step inside. It isn’t until Kate’s other hand waves to get your attention off the floor that you look up and realize both girls are staring at you expectedly. “I’m sorry, what?” you say softly.

The redhead chuckles and repeats herself, “Hi, I’m Wanda and the Vice President here. We have two bathrooms downstairs, one by the kitchen and one by the laundry room. Also, two upstairs just in case. Drinks, of course, are in the kitchen or the backyard. Is there anyone you are looking for that I can direct you towards? Or anything I can get you to drink?”

“I’m looking for Yelena actually. Do you know where she is?” Kate quickly replies. “She’s in the living room playing beer pong,” Wanda points over to her left, “Go right through there and you will find her.”

With lightning speed, Kate drops your hand and rushes off to find the blonde. Your mouth hangs open as you stare off in the direction she flew. 

The redhead laughs as she looks at you before offering her arm, “Can I escort you anywhere?” Glancing around the foyer, you can't recognize anyone, so you nervously agree and link your arm with hers, “I don’t think I know anyone else here, so anywhere you want to go is fine with me.”

A bright smile spreads on the Vice President's face as she guides you out of the foyer and into the backyard to watch someone attempt a keg stand. You can’t help but look stunned as you watch the girl drink. “Would you like to try?” Wanda startles you with the question. Shaking your head no with absolute certainty that you could never have arm strength or lung capacity. 

After a few moments more of watching, she slowly guides you over to the pool. The redhead kicks off her shoes and motions for you to do the same. The two of you sit down along the edge and place your feet in the water. You start to mindlessly kick your feet along to the music that is playing throughout the speakers. “So, am I allowed to ask your name?”

Multiple memories come to mind with times the Vice President has heard your name, “I’m pretty sure you know my name.”

Wanda’s tongue drags underneath the bottom of her teeth, “Oh, I do, but I want to hear it from your pretty, little mouth.”

Your breath catches in your throat at her words, taking a moment to settle your racing heart, you slowly speak, “Madelyn.”

Deciding to try and control the conversation you cut her off before she could say anything else. “Do you usually take interest in random people that show up to your sorority’s parties?”

She chuckles at your question, “No, not usually. But I would not say you’re a random person. Plus I have never had the pleasure of someone as captivating as you walk through those doors.”

“Yeah, right.” You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at the redhead. 

She grabs your chin and makes you look up at her, “Oh I didn’t take you for the bratty type.” You could have sworn that her eyes sparkled when she said that. 

You shutter, trying to think of a reply. Your brain is completely lagging at the touch and sound of her voice. Wanda’s thumb moves and pushes between your lips, “Is there anything even going through that little head of yours?”

A small groan rips it way out your throat and your eyelids droop slightly. The redhead pushes down slightly onto your tongue.

Mumbling around her thumb, “Yes.” 

The Vice President’s smirks at your reply, “Yes,” She mocks you, “Yes, to what?”

You shift your eyes back to her as you take in the specific color of her eyes, a sparkling green, this time a soft moan comes out of your lips, “Please..”

You think Wanda must take pity on you because suddenly she drops her hand from your mouth. Everything about her seems to return back to when you first walked in the house. She’s back to being sweet and polite, it makes your head spin. “What brings you to the party tonight, Madelyn? Well besides escorting Bishop, of course.”

This was a question you didn’t know how to answer. Why were you here in the backyard of your ex’s sorority spending time with her Vice President? Glancing around the backyard, noticing that you still don't know anyone here, you sigh, “Honestly, I’m not sure. Kate said I needed to come if she got a second date because, apparently, I need to move on.”

“And do you want to?” She looks at you expectantly, “Move on, that is.”

“I don’t even know what I would have to move on from. It’s been months since we broke up. And she didn’t care about me long before that anyways.” You let out a dry laugh, “I don’t even think she liked me. She just liked sex with me.”

The look on the redhead’s face makes you stop your ranting, “Sorry, that is not proper party conversation,” you force out a laugh, “way too depressing.”

She smiles, dragging her eyes down your torso and onto your legs then pulling them back up before landing her eyes back on your face. “How would you like to find something to drink?” 

Thankful for her change in conversation, you smile slightly, “Yeah, that’d be nice.”

The two of you make your way through the house and into the kitchen, “What will it be? Beer? Vodka?” walking around the kitchen as you listen to her talk. “... Or maybe a juice box?” 

Whipping your head around, you glare at the Vice President, scoffing, “I’m not a child. I can drink alcohol.”

Right after you speak, you hear someone laughing from the archway. “Oh, Wands, what a delightful surprise,” she steps further into the small kitchen, “Tell me you were able to get us this cute little thing to play.”

This makes you snap your head quickly around again. A rush of arousal runs through you when your eyes lock onto the redhead, “And who the hell are you?”

The cheshire smile on her face makes it clear she remembers you, she moves towards you before gently lifting up your hand as she bows her head to place a soft kiss on it, “To you, Madam President.” 

“What the fuck.” You snatch your hand away and look towards the sparkling green eyed woman before returning your gaze in front of you.

“Oh, what a dirty mouth, I will have to clean that out.” The redhead smirks at you. Another wave of arousal hits you, gulping as you maintain eye contact, “Like you’d get the chance.”

Wanda speaks up, breaking the growing tension in the room, “Darling, wouldn’t she just be…” walking up and placing a finger under your chin, her voice dropping, “...divine?” 

You shutter at her words. Eyes bouncing between the two redheads suddenly much closer to you than before. Realizing they have successfully surrounded you, your arousal spiking but you choose to mask with slight panic. “So what is this then? Two spiders trapping someone in their web and then going in for the kill?” Puffing out your chest slightly, trying to gain back some more control. “You think the President and Vice President would require consent.”

Wanda chuckles in your ear behind you, “Oh dear, we do.” Bringing her finger up to brush some hair behind your ear before speaking softly, “We only accept enthusiastic consent. Absolute begging.”

Your knees wobble slightly at her words. “A little archer told us that you needed to move on, and typically we wouldn’t do rebound sex, but you…” The President takes a sharp inhale through her teeth, “You are too special to pass up.”

“So what do you say, baby, want to be ours for the night?” Wanda whispers.

A million thoughts race through your mind. Most importantly, the fact you’ve never had a threesome or sex with people you don’t really know. You look around the kitchen and notice how nobody else even acknowledges the two redheads circling you like prey. 

“I say,” You gulp, mustering all the fake confidence you can find. “I say show me a good time first and we will see.”

The two women share a sinister smile before they each drape an arm around you and walk you out of the kitchen and into a room that only stores a pool table and some chairs. 

“We have the next game.” The President says to the small group finishing up their game before walking you over to the side of the room. She lowers her hands to your hips and lifts you with ease onto the barstool behind you.

Shock fills your face at her actions before you glare at her, “Excuse you. I am perfectly capable of sitting in a seat by myself.”

The redhead simply smiles at you before moving to stand next to the side of your chair, absentmindedly running fingers through your hair. 

“Hello? Earth to you. Usually, when someone speaks to you it's polite to respond.” You huff and cross your arms over your chest. She gently turns your head to look at her. “Oh, come on. Don’t be like that. I’m sorry, baby. I won’t do it again.”

“Madelyn, I have a name and it’s not baby.” You scoff, “What is your name anyways?”

She winks at you before smirking, “I told you. To you, it’s Madam President.”

“That’s not a name. That’s a title. What’s your name?” Your eyes met the redhead locked in a standstill. You already know you won’t last long. Her eyes trap you in endless pools of deep green. They are powerful and unmoving, you huff, “What’s your name, Madam President?” 

The President lifts her hand and holds your lower lip before pulling it down and out slightly, causing you to look through your lashes to maintain eye contact, the action making you feel as if you’re losing the last shreds of your control. The redhead presses down the slightest bit more before pinching your lip and releasing it, “Natasha.” 

Wanda, who has been repeatedly running her fingers from your shoulder to the knee, leans over you slightly if only to be in your personal space, “Natty, it’s our turn now.”

You go to hop down, but yet again your hips are grabbed and you’re picked up and put down by Natasha’s hands. You give her a glare even as a blush starts covering your cheeks.

“Tsk, tsk. Don’t be like that. I would hate to have to spank that gorgeous ass for the first time surrounded by all these people.” Your blush deepens with your embarrassment at the volume the redhead spoke. The heat pooling between your legs only causes you more confusion. 

The three of you walk towards the table. Natasha moves to rack the balls and Wanda takes you over to pick out a cue stick, grabbing one for Natasha as well. 

It’s decided that you will be on your own team, which you tried to protest by saying you have never played a game of pool in your life, but your complaints fall on deaf ears. 

Wanda starts off by breaking the balls, officially starting your unfair game. She gets a solid into a pocket, “That makes you stripes, baby.” She says in a sickeningly sweet voice before getting two more solid balls into pockets. 

Standing there with your mouth open, you begin to complain, “This is so unfair. There is no way I will be able to even get close to hitting even one of these balls in!” 

“Okay, okay, I’ll help you in the first round,” Wanda says, holding up her hands. She walks over to you and shows you how to bend down and how to aim your cue stick. You lean down like she showed you but still, you feel her hand press down between your shoulders as she speaks in your ear, “Like this, darling. Eyes level with your target.”

Acutely aware this position has almost completely folded in half on the pool table, you pull back the stick and then push it forward with a decent amount of force. 

And you completely miss. 

To make matters worse, you got one of their balls closer to the pocket instead. Groaning, you stand up and look unamused at the two redheads who are both trying to hold back their smiles at your reaction, “This game is stupid.”

Natasha comes up to the table, leans down, noticeably higher than the position Wanda moved you into. She breathes in and out, then hits the cue ball, causing it to sink a solid ball into the nearby pocket. She glances up at you, smirking, while still leaning down. Causing a completely automatic eye roll. The redhead arches her eyebrow at you before moving to a new spot. She leans down, breathes in and out, and.. misses. “HA!” You cheer as your stripe ball goes into the pocket instead of the solid ball that was next it. 

You walk up to the table for your turn and glance to Wanda for her help again. Natasha subtly shakes her head, which you don’t notice since she was behind you. Wanda simply gives you a nod of her head, encouraging you to try by yourself. So you lean down and focus on which ball you’re aiming for and what pocket is your goal.

Breathing in and out a few times before pulling back your cue stick on your inhale and pushing it forward on your exhale. As the stick connects with the cue ball you feel a stinging on your ass. You immediately stand up and spin around with a glare, “Hey! That’s not fair.”

The President laughs as she looks over your head, “Well, it seemed like good luck because you got the ball in.”

Spinning around again to see if she was lying but there, clear as day, you see your stripe ball missing from the table and sitting in the pocket. “Don’t think for a second that I won't punish whiny, bratty behavior though, baby.” Natasha whispers in your ear, her front flush against your back, “Now, say thank you.”

You shiver at her words. The logical part of your brain can’t stop wondering why you should thank her for spanking you, but when you feel her hands on your hips as she pulls them closer to her own, that part of your mind goes blank. The heat between your legs grows even hotter and you let out a soft sigh before fingers hook under your chin and guide you to look up at Natasha, “Say thank you.” She softly growls. 

“Thank you.” It comes out more as a pant than actual words but the redhead is pleased enough.

The rest of the game crawls by slowly as each redhead tries to work you up with innocent touches and whispered words. Your head becomes fuzzy in the best way, but even in this state you are completely aware that every other stripe ball that’s gone in is because of Wanda and Natasha simply trying to keep the game going. 

With all solid and striped balls now off the table it’s down to whoever can sink the 8 ball in the game. 

Wanda glances at you before smirking, “What if we make a little bet out of this?”

You can’t help but let out a dry laugh, “Are you joking? This whole thing is already a game of if you two can get me into bed.” Natasha licks her lips at your words, causing your cheeks to blush even more than they were. 

The Vice President ignores your reply, “Great! So I was thinking, if we sink the 8 ball, then you give us a strip show,” you arch your eyebrow at the redhead, “and if you sink the 8 ball, then you give us a strip show.” She winks at you. 

“That’s absolutely-” You're cut off by Natasha speaking, “Deal.”

“Deal?” You shriek as the two redheads shake each other's hand, “You two cannot agree on this without me also agreeing.”

They both come up to you and place a hand on your cheek, “And do, baby?” Wanda mumbles into your ear. Right after Natasha says, smirking, “Wanna make a deal?”

Your skin flushes at their voices, your mind hanging onto their every word. You slowly close your eyes and your head falls back slightly. Wanda lowers her head to breathe along your neck, occasionally brushing her tongue against it while Natasha’s fingers tangle around your hair, pulling it back. 

A soft moan hits your ears, shocking you when you realize it came from you. Suddenly coming back to yourself, you lightly push off the women, clearing your throat to try and fake your control over yourself once again. “If I sink the 8 ball,” you take a deep breath, “then I decide the next time you touch me.”

Both redheads simply nod their heads in agreement before extending their arms to allow you space for your shot. Looking over the table and considering all the choices you quickly realize that you absolutely have no shot at winning. Ignoring every other reason besides the obvious one, you didn’t want to win.

But you wouldn’t make it apparent to the President and Vice President. 

So you lean down, “Corner pocket.” You spend a considerable amount of time figuring out your angle and practicing the strength of your hit. With one more inhale, you pull back the cue stick then exhale and strike the cue ball.

You hit the 8 ball but it stops just short of falling into the pocket. You give a shy smile to the women before stepping back. 

There’s a silent conversation going on between the redheads before Wanda nods and steps up to the table. “Corner pocket.” She winks at you before aiming at the cue ball and without any delay she strikes. The 8 ball disappearing into the corner pocket. 

Without even a second to think, your feet are suddenly lifted into the air and over Natasha’s shoulder. Wanda comes up to grab the cue stick from you and places it on the pool table.

Once you realize the redhead plans to walk out of the parlor room with you over her shoulder, you begin to protest, “Wait. Wait. I can walk. You don’t have to think I’ll back out of the bet.”

You feel a soft hand brush the back of your thigh as the sparkling green eyed woman steps into your view. 

“Oh, baby, we know, but Natty here is a very proud winner and wants to show you off,” her thin fingers smoothing down your hair. You stare at her dumbfounded as she swipes her thumb across your lower lip, “If you’re a good girl then we’ll give you an extra special reward. Can you do that for us?”

The Vice President allows you your time to process as you blink a few times before nodding your head. 

A swift smack to your ass has you gasping as Natasha corrects your action, “Words baby.”

“Yes.” Another softer smack to your ass. “Yes, I can be a good girl.”

Both redheads make a pleased humming sound before walking out of the room. You try to avoid eye contact with all the partygoers. The blush across your face and chest only grows at your slight embarrassment. 

It isn’t long until you're walking up to the stairs. Suddenly stopping right at the bottom, trying to turn your body at the sound of Kate’s voice. Mortification slams into you when she leans around the redhead holding you to look at your face. 

Her tone relentlessly teasing, “Now, I thought I told you not to go upstairs with anyone,” the memory of her words at your arrival pulled to the front of your mind.

Rolling your eyes at your roommate only caused her to laugh further at your predicament. 

Yelena speaking prompts the brunette to move back into the circle of conversation with her and the redheads, “Don’t kill the poor girl. It would severely ruin my chances with Bishop.”

Natasha laughs at her sister’s comment, “Please, the only thing she’ll get is mind altering pleasure,” pinching your ass when finishing the sentence. “Now, I’d love to chat, but I have a bet to cash in on.”

Wanda leading the way up the stairs, pausing as Kate speaks, looking up at your roommate, “She has a study group tomorrow morning at 10am! She can’t miss it!”

The redheads laugh, continuing up the stairs, the President turns slightly as she walks and salutes to the brunette, “Aye, aye, Captain.”

Less than fifteen steps later, you’re carried into a large room. Your heart stopping completely at the sound of the door closing and locking. As if noticing the slight pure panic, Wanda stands by the door twisting the handle, “It locks from inside, so if you twist the handle, then it’s automatically unlocked,” then she relocks the door.

Nodding your head in thanks and understanding of her words, she gives you a reassuring smile in return.

Then, Natasha lightly throws you onto the bed, a grunt leaving your lips, leaning over you, she smirks. Wanda comes up to sit beside your head and gently rubs your forehead with her thumbs.

The deep green eyed woman locks her eyes with yours before placing a soft kiss on your chest, then throwing herself to the empty side of you. 

“Now, don’t keep us waiting,” you turn your head to see sparkling green eyes looking at you.

They wait a few seconds before both women have another silent conversation. Suddenly, you startle the redheads by standing up.

Standing with your hands on your hips, stilling your voice and shifting on your feet, “Well, this will be rather awkward to do in silence.”

The President smirks at you before pulling out her phone and playing ‘Supermassive Black Hole by Muse!’ from her speaker. 

Slowly you begin to sway your hips and drag your fingers across your chest. Kicking your shoes off as sexually as you can. You let the song play for about twenty seconds before you lean down and run your nails up your legs stopping where your thighs meet your center. 

Turning around, you hook one finger under your right strap and pull it down, staring directly into sparkling green eyes. Then, turning your head to face the other direction and repeat the action, but slower, as you look into the deep green eyes.

Your dress only stays up from pushing out your chest. You continue to dance around until you slowly sit down onto your knees. Rolling onto the ground, your head closer to the women,  arching your back as you begin to spread apart your knees. Never looking away from the redheads as your knees hit the floor. Watching as both women tighten their grips on the bed sheets. 

Straightening your legs and bringing them back together, slowly using all your core strength to sit up rather than using your hands. You turn around and crawl over to the bed, standing before placing one foot on the President’s thigh.

She brings her hand up to gently hold onto your calf before digging her nails in. Biting your lip at the minimal pain before moving your hands across your chest, breathlessly Natasha speaks, “God, don’t be that much of a tease. Let Daddy see.”

Grabbing her hands, you bring them up to your chest, she squeezes before pulling down your dress exposing your breasts, strangely thanking yourself for foregoing a bra tonight.

The cool air in the room feeling amazing on your burning skin.

Lowering your foot, you walk over to the Vice President and bend how she showed you earlier during your game of pool. A loud hum of approval leaving her mouth.

Keeping your position, you gather the material at the hem of your dress and pull it over your head. Leaving Wanda staring directly at your covered center. Her finger gently travels up the inside of your thighs, never reaching the apex.

Noticing the dark patch on your light gray underwear, she speaks mockingly, “Do you want Mommy and Daddy to take care of that for you?”

A small moan slips out as you feel two different fingers suddenly press against the dark spot. 

“Words, baby,” both women huskily say at the same time.

“Please, please,” you’re all but moaning.

A smack on your ass that you can tell was from Wanda by the feeling of rings soothing the sting, “Be specific, baby.”

You breathe in and out a few times before roughly swallowing, “Please, take care of me.”

The redheads, losing their lack of control, slowly decide that your answer was good enough for now, for the first time.

Natasha walks around to face you, her hands find your shoulders and makes you stand up. Wanda moves further back on the bed, removing her shirt and bra before leaning against the pillows.

Grabbing onto the President’s face, you stand on your tip toes and connect your lips to hers. She eagerly begins kissing you back, nipping at your lip. Moving her hands to your ass, smacking your ass lightly, so you’ll jump into her arms.

Continuing to kiss you as she walks to the side of the bed and places you down. Ending your kiss, a low whine comes from you. Sealing your lips quickly but both women have already heard you and have lust flashing through their eyes. 

“Now, go ahead and make Mommy feel good while Daddy makes you feel good.” Nodding your head at the redhead’s directions, you turn around and crawl up the bed and between Wanda’s spread legs. She holds up her hands and guides your lips to her nipple.

Natasha begins to massage your ass and tease your slit over your underwear, soaking them further by the second. 

Sucking and pulling on the Vice President’s left nipple, bringing your right hand up to roll her right nipple between your fingers. You continue this while feeling the unending teasing around your clit.

Popping off Wanda’s left nipple, you drag your tongue across her chest until you can wrap your lips around the right nipple, twirling your tongue around the nub.

On the first suck, you feel a rush of cool air hit your center as your underwear is pulled down your legs, moaning loudly at the sensation. Without even a second to spare you feel the redhead’s tongue lick up the wetness on your lips before softly pushing her tongue inside your entrance.

Your jaw slacks at the feeling, your head falls away from the needy nipples in front of you. The redhead pulls you back against her nipple, “That’s a good girl. You’re giving Mommy so much pleasure,” holding you close to feel every sound come from your lips, moans of her own filling the room.

Natasha licks her way up to your clit. Giving soft licks before wrapping her lips around your clit, humming, then pulling softly on the bundle of nerves.

Your knees start shaking at the pleasure, causing you to fall further onto Wanda. 

“Oh, fuck,” you mumble around the nipple.

Bringing her fingers up to your clit, rubbing circles, “Come on, baby. You're such a good girl for us.”

Her fingers slowly push into you, curling slightly against your velvet walls. “Fuck, baby, you’re so wet. Let Daddy make you cum, alright?”

A truly unholy sound fell from your lips, clenching around Natasha’s fingers, Wanda lifts your head slightly, so you could reply, “Please, make me cum.”

Lowering her mouth back to your clit as she sucks, licks, and nips all over while her fingers continue a relentless pace. Wanda brings her own finger to your nipples and begins rolling them between her fingers. “God, everything about you, baby. Everything is perfect,” pulling at the nubs blurring the line between pain and pleasure.

“Fuck,” your voice cracking at exclamation. Shaking from the stimulation, the coil in your stomach tightens more with each second.

Wanda leans her head forward next to your ear, “Come for Mommy, baby. Come all over Daddy.”

A simultaneous pinch from the Vice President's fingers on your nipples and the President's pinch on your clit has a wave of pleasure crashing over you, a scream rips from your throat as you cum all over Natasha’s face and fingers and fall on top of Wanda.

Dragging out your orgasm not stopping until she's pulled every sound from your lips does she begin to lick up all traces of your orgasm, sitting up and moving towards the other. You look up just in time to see them share a deep kiss, each moaning at the taste of you on their tongues. 

Breaking apart, deep green eyes look at you, “Do you have another one in you, baby? You came hard enough to drown me,” lust shining in her eyes.

“I’ll do whatever you want, just make me cum that hard again,” your eyes pleading. 

Smirking at you, Wanda moves you to scoot down the bed, tapping your thighs. It takes a second for you to realize where she wants you, but you quickly move to hover above her face. Natasha settles between her girlfriends thighs, removing her skirt and underwear in one pull, “Now, this will be a sight to see,” lowering her mouth immediately, sucking the redhead’s clit into her mouth the way she likes.

Biting your lip at the sight, you sit down, your eyes connecting with the deep green ones between the redhead’s thighs. Allowing the Vice President to move you where she’s most comfortable. Feeling her tongue push into your entrance has you arching your back.

Natasha’s fingers move to Wanda’s clit, rubbing at a brutal pace. Below you the redhead sucks in a sharp breath. Moving to drag her teeth along your clit. 

Your hips arch at the feeling, soft grunts passing from your lips, “Shit.”

Pulling you back against the redhead’s mouth, “Tsk, tsk, where do you think you’re going, baby girl?”

Rutting your hips against the face below you. Moans and pleas mumbling out of your mouth at the suction of your clit. Natasha sits up, keeping her fingers on Wanda’s clit, and leans towards you. Digging your nails into her shoulders, as she begins to leave soft bites along your chest before kissing up your neck. 

Inhaling sharply as her teeth sink into your pulse point, sucking harshly on the delicate skin, “Such a dirty mouth.” 

The pleasure on your clit increases, building up your orgasm quickly. Moaning as you drag your nails down the redhead’s back.

Wanda becomes sloppy underneath you, hinting at her own release coming soon. “Mommy’s getting close. Come with Mommy, baby,” Natasha mumbles against your neck, pushing you right to the edge. 

Sucking your earlobe into her mouth and biting down on your soft skin, “Seeing how you ride Mommy’s face makes me wonder how well you would ride Daddy’s dick,” her words sending both you and the woman beneath you over the edge. 

The Vice President slowly licks your cunt to clean you as the President drags her finger through her girlfriend’s release. Bringing them up to your mouth, “Be a good girl,” and pushing them between your lips. 

A sinful moan escapes both of your lips, though for different reasons. Exhaustion riding through your body allows Natasha to gently lift you off Wanda’s face and leans you against the pillows.

Your eyelids fight too close to receive a moment of rest, quickly winning over your desire to stay conscious. Both women get off the bed walking into the en-suite and cleaning themselves up quickly, returning with a towel for you.

Noticing your sleeping form, the two exchange a look before Wanda’s soft hands spread your knees and gently clean you up. 

“She’s perfect for us,” the President whispers.

“She is, but how can we convince her of that,” the Vice President whispers back.

As a plan forms in her mind, the redhead smirks, “We will just have to show her.”

Wanda throws the towel aiming for the laundry hamper, but misses, before laying down into the bed next to you. Natasha follows suit, listening to the music thrum downstairs while closing her eyes.

-

Groaning and swatting at the air when you hear the familiar sounds of a phone alarm going off.

Your messy morning hair is removed from your face, startling you into opening your eyes. Confusion flashing through you until you see two pairs so similar yet different green eyes.

“Wha-,” you begin, but are cut off.

“I would have let you sleep in more, baby, but we need to get you dressed for your study group. The last thing I need is my little sister trying to murder me for ruining her chances with the archer.” 

Blinking a few times, begging for your brain to catch up, yet all your mind can think of is, “Her name is Kate.”

The redheads smile at you, “Yes, of course, we apologize,” Wanda says sincerely.

With a pat on your thigh, Natasha sits up, “Now, I don't think you want to go to your study group in that little blue dress you were wearing last night, so you can borrow something of ours.”

“No, no, it’s fine. I can just run to my dorm. I need to brush my teeth anyway, so it’s okay.” However the looks you receive fills your mind with doubt, “What time is it?”

“9:45am,” Wanda grimaces. Your jaw falls open at the realization that you will definitely not make it in time unless you go straight there. Cursing yourself for not understanding your math course better and needing to go to the study groups in the first place, with a deep breath you look up at the women, “Show me the outfit.” 

Standing in the mirror you can’t complain. It was a simple pair of medium washed jeans, though slightly too long since you are shorter than both women, they have been cuffed and paired with a loose long sleeve shirt sporting their sorority name and logo. You felt a bit like a walking advertisement. The worst part, yet best part, was the sports bra Natasha gave you to wear. 

Cringing as you put on your soiled underwear from the night before, you throw on your shoes and tie your hair into your best messy, not messy, bun. Hurrying down the stairs towards the front door. To your surprise, the redheads follow behind you. Thinking they must be the type to walk out guests, you say nothing. 

Reaching for the door handle, you're cut off by Wanda’s ring-covered hand opening the door for you, extending her arm in an ‘after you, ladies first’ motion. 

Arching an eyebrow at the action before turning to face them, “Thank you for the clothes. I’ll return them washed by the end of next week, swear,” beginning to turn back around before stopping and facing them again, whispering, “and thank you for last night too,” then rushing down the steps of the porch.

Stepping out of the doorway both women laugh before replying, “Now, that you don’t need to thank us for.” Trying to hide your blush from the redheads as you speed walk down the sorority's front lawn, checking your phone for the time, seven minutes to get there, thinking ‘I can do it’ as you break out into a run across campus. 

[dorabellingham]

Long distance

warning: none

characters: jude x reader

summary: when your long-distance relationship is going through a turbulent time, but you do everything to understand each other

request: yes!

may contain spelling and translation errors!

The months passed quickly, and despite the distance, you and Jude tried to stay connected. He was in Madrid, living the peak of his career, with intense training, games and constant travel, while you, in another country, focused on your college year. The distance was testing your limits, but so far, you seemed to be able to keep the flame alive. However, there were times, like this one, when you felt that something wasn't right.

It was a cold Thursday night, and you were at home, after another long week of studies and commitments. You looked at your phone, checking if you had any messages from Jude. You saw that he had sent you a good night message, as he always did when you weren't talking in person, but when you opened the screen, you saw that he was busy with something and couldn't answer at those times. It was something common, but that night, a feeling of emptiness hit you even harder. You tried to be understanding. You knew that Jude was at a decisive moment in his career and that football demanded a lot of his time. However, you couldn’t help but feel alone. The long-distance relationship was getting hard to sustain. You always tried your best to be patient, but you also had your own emotional needs, and as much as you loved your boyfriend, you couldn’t hide the fact that you were feeling neglected. That night, instead of just texting him that you were fine, you sat on your bed and decided to write something more sincere. You knew you had to be honest with him, no matter how hard it was.

"Jude, I know you’re super busy and I don’t want to be a burden, but… sometimes I feel like you’re so distant. Not physically, of course, but emotionally. I understand how much football takes out of you, but I also need you here, you know? And there are days when I really feel like I’m doing this all by myself. I don’t want to be demanding, but can you help me understand what’s going on? I just don’t want to feel invisible.”

You hesitated a little before hitting send, but you knew you had to say it. You didn’t want the frustration to build up to the point where it could harm their relationship. Instead, you preferred to get things sorted out while there was still time.

A few minutes later, your phone vibrated. It was a text from Jude.

“Sweetie, I’m sorry if I left you feeling this way. I really didn’t mean to. You know how grateful I am for everything you’ve done for us. I can’t deny that I’m completely focused on my work, but that will never be more important than you. I love you and I’m struggling to find balance. I want you to know that I need you here too, more than you know. Let’s talk about this when you can.”

You felt an immediate sense of relief. You knew he wasn’t trying to push you away, but the feeling of being neglected hurt you deeply. You took a deep breath and sent a reply.

“I love you, Jude. I know it’s hard for you too, and I don’t mean to be selfish. Just… please don’t make me feel like I’m an option when you already have so much going on. I just need to know that I’m still important to you, even with all this crazy schedule you have.”

Your phone vibrated again.

“You’ll always be my priority, Y/n. I’m just trying to organize myself so that we can be together as much as possible. I don’t want you to feel that way, no way. Let’s figure it out. Give me some time and we’ll plan something together, something just for us, so you can see how important you are to me. I promise I’ll try to make this easier for you. I’m not going to give up on us.”

You smiled, feeling a soft relief this time. You knew that, despite the distance and the challenges, the love between you were still strong. You were still learning to deal with the situation, and that was something natural, something that many long-distance relationships face.

A few hours later, you finally received a call from Jude. The sound of his voice calmed you down immediately, and you closed your eyes as you listened to him speak, knowing that, despite the pressure and the distance, you still belonged together.

—Babe, I just wanted to hear from you. I was thinking about how we can improve this. Maybe I should call you more often, or even text you more when I know you need me.

You interrupted him softly, with a light laugh.

—I’m not the type of person to complain, but sometimes I feel like I’m trying too hard to be strong on my own. And yes, a more frequent message would make me feel more present. I know you’re doing your best, Jude. It’s just that sometimes the best seems so far away, darling.

Jude sighed, as if he was relieved to finally hear your truth. He could feel the weight of your words, and it touched him deeply.

—I understand. And I’m going to do it. I’m going to be more present. Because you deserve it. You deserve to know that I’m completely yours, even if the distance tries to separate us. I’m going to make things work, because you’re the most important thing in my life.

You smiled at his words. The feeling of warmth was almost instantaneous. You had had a difficult conversation, but a necessary conversation, and that was the most important thing. You didn’t want to be neglected, but you didn’t want to be selfish either. You just wanted to be with him, by his side, even if that meant you had to adjust a little.

—I love you, Jude. I’m here for you too, always. And I know that in the end, everything will work out. We’ll get through this together.

He was silent for a moment before answering.

—I love you more, babe. And I’m going to show you that I can be better for both of us.

That night, even though you were miles apart, you and Jude felt closer than ever. Your conversation was a reminder that despite the hardships of distance and Jude’s career, what really mattered was your commitment to each other. You weren’t giving up. You were simply learning to be better in your relationship, day by day.

[notiddygothgf]

xiv

★ pairings: aki hayakawa x fem reader

★ ❝ I'm sorry.❞

★ c.w.: situationship-typical confusion, smut, cunnilingus, poorly timed confessions, phone sex, so much yearning and so much angst, oh my god.

★ a/n: oh my god. this chapter was such a MONSTER TO WRITE!!! i will say, it's like 70% angst. BUT!!! we get to see some majorrrr development. Honestly, i'm a little nervous about posting this, as I'm not very confident, but i think that's only because it takes such a bold turn. I'm gonna HOPE it translates well lol... i don't wanna say too much (other than to keep on dropping those beautiful comments that make me giggle), but... strap in lol. it's a ride.

★ w.c: 12.4k

pornstar ; chapter index

YOU HAD ALWAYS wanted to be a nurse – white uniform, slicked-back hair, the whole nine yards. You had gone as far as first aid training before the reality of your situation kicked in, of course. Realistically speaking, you had no way of financing such an endeavor. Your father passed when you were young, leaving the financial burden of raising a child alone to your mother. You wished you could say that she did the best she could, but that would be a lie. In reality, your mother spent much of her time spending what little spare money she did have on maintaining her social life. Nights at bars and parties that bled early into the morning – some days, she would be coming home and kicking her shoes off with that tipsy grin of hers just as you were getting ready for school.

So, when the two of you had a big argument and she yelled at you to “take your shit and get the fuck out of my house,” you weren’t exactly leaving much behind. Freshly 18 and completely overwhelmed by possibilities, you didn’t have the means – financially or emotionally – to build yourself the future you had always wanted. It was there that you approached the first decision that led you here – the decision to join Public Safety.

You were far too frail for the military. No, bootcamp didn’t sound appealing at all. Not only that, but you weren’t all too crazy about the principle of killing people for money. 

So, your only other option – the only other way you would be able to afford college – was Public Safety. If you worked for them for at least a year, they would pay for your college. The best part of all? There would be no human blood on your hands.

At least, that was the idea.

You had it all planned out. Hell, you even had a little binder… one that had your transcripts, hopes, and dreams contained within. One that had been collecting dust for the past few years of your career as a Public Safety officer. Year after year, those application deadlines would roll past, and year after year, your dreams drifted further and further away from you. Before you knew it, you seemed to have forgotten about it entirely.

Maybe too much time had passed. Maybe you lost your resolve. Either way, you sure as hell weren’t a nurse.

Two paths diverged into a yellow wood, or whatever the hell it was that Robert Frost said – and you sure as hell took the road less traveled by. Decision after decision had led you to your position. Similarly, it was through a series of truly unfortunate decisions that you found yourself where you were today.

That is, of course, running away the moment you made eye contact with your superior, Aki Hayakawa. You had seen him walking up the same hallway he always did – the one on the second floor, somewhere between his office and Makima’s.

Truthfully, you had been avoiding him for two days now – you hadn’t answered either of his phone calls, and you certainly hadn’t answered his “Are you up?” text. Yesterday hadn’t been hard, but today was office day. That meant that the chance of you running into him was a hell of a lot higher. 

He was walking toward you, his long strides easy, effortless—just like they always were. Hair tied neatly, coat slung over one arm, and head tilted slightly toward the colleague beside him. He was saying something, probably about a mission. You couldn’t hear it. Didn’t need to.

The moment you saw him, something in your chest lurched. Not in a cute, fluttery kind of way—but more like your organs suddenly wanted to evacuate your body.

You winced. Immediately.

Then you did what any emotionally stable adult would do: you veered.

Hard left.

The breakroom door opened under your hand with a faint creak and closed behind you just as quickly. You pressed your back to it for a second, exhaling slow. Relief bloomed through your chest like something warm.

That was a close one.

Safe.

Or so you thought.

The door clicked again.

You froze.

You didn’t have to turn around to know who it was. The click of it shutting gently. The hush of movement behind you. You could feel him…calm, still, and watching.

“Good morning,” you said, after a beat.

Your voice sounded even, maybe too even. Like you weren’t currently regretting every life decision that led to this very moment.

Aki’s voice followed close behind, low and measured. “You’re avoiding me.”

No shit.

You turned around, meeting his eyes. He looked like he always did, clean lines, sharp gaze, emotion held just behind the eyes. But something else was there too. Curiosity. Concern. Maybe a bit of frustration.

Maybe he’s overthinking, too.

“No, I’m not,” you replied quickly, lifting your mug like some kind of deflective totem.

His expression didn’t change. “You literally just took off running when you saw me.”

Dammit.

You winced again. “…Okay. Maybe I didn’t wanna interrupt your conversation.”

Aki raised a brow. Slowly.

“You haven’t answered my calls,” he said. “Or my texts. Not even the one where I asked if you were up. Something’s wrong.”

You hated how direct he was. Always had. It made it impossible to brush things under the rug.

You hesitated, glancing to the side like the coffee machine might offer you divine intervention.

He was still watching you.

Still waiting.

You took a breath and set your mug down on the counter with a quiet clink. “Do you really wanna do this here?”

The words came out more tired than defensive. A quiet admission.

Aki didn’t move. But you saw the faint shift in his expression, something soft threading its way into the angles of his face. His eyes dropped briefly to the floor, then back up to you.

“Yes,” he said finally. “Unless there’s… some reason we shouldn’t.”

There was a pause. A thick, stretched silence that seemed to fill every inch of the tiny breakroom. You looked down at your hands.

“It’s stupid,” you said.

“Let me be the judge of that.”

You swallowed, suddenly aware of how small the room was. How close he was. And how tired you were of trying to pretend.

“You haven’t been answering my calls,” He went on, “Something’s wrong.”

God, I hate how self-aware he is.

You crossed your arms over your chest – not out of anger, just to hold yourself together. “I didn’t know how to talk to you after… the night at my apartment.”

He blinked. Just once. “That’s it?”

“The hell do you mean, ‘That’s it’?” You hissed back, fingers gripping the mug a little tighter. 

“I mean,” He sighed, walking over to the breakroom counter and leaning up against it like he owned the damn thing. “Is that why you’ve been avoiding me? Because I spent the night?”

You let out a dry, humorless laugh, eyes trained on the floor tiles.

“Jesus, Aki.” You shook your head. “I really don’t wanna do this here.”

“Why not?” he asked, and he didn’t sound smug—he sounded genuinely confused. Like he hadn’t realized just how deep that night had burrowed itself into your chest.

You glanced up at him sharply. “Because this is the breakroom,” you said, voice low and tight. “Because there are cameras in the hallway and people two doors down who love to gossip. Because I’m barely keeping it together and I’m not interested in becoming office entertainment for the day.”

His brows pulled together at that, his gaze softening, but you saw the way his jaw flexed. He wasn’t going to let this go.

You crossed your arms over your chest – not out of anger, just to give yourself something to do with your body that didn’t involve reaching for him.

He was about to say something, something serious by the look in his eyes, when the breakroom door creaked open behind you.

You both turned.

It was Fujioka from Records – mid-thirties, always a little too cheerful in the mornings, and unfortunately, incredibly observant. He walked in holding a chipped white mug and blinked at the two of you standing just a little too close in the corner by the counter.

“Morning,” he said with a polite little nod, but his tone held a hint of curiosity, his eyes flicking between the two of you like he was trying to piece together what he’d just walked in on.

You instantly stepped back, putting a little space between yourself and Aki, suddenly very interested in the stale coffee pot behind you.

“Morning,” you mumbled, reaching for a paper cup you didn’t actually need.

Aki nodded too, a little stiffly. “Hey.”

Fujioka moved around the room casually, but you could feel the change in the air—how the tension still clung to the walls even as everyone tried to pretend otherwise. You focused on fixing your nonexistent coffee, stirring an empty cup just to avoid looking at anyone.

Fujioka cleared his throat as he poured himself a mug, the sound of liquid hitting ceramic loud in the painfully quiet room. He lingered by the sugar packets longer than necessary, as if waiting for someone to resume conversation. No one did.

Eventually, mercifully, he gave up.

“Well… see you two around,” he said, lifting his mug in a lazy salute before strolling back out into the hallway, the door swinging shut behind him with a dull thud.

The moment he was gone, the spell broke.

You hissed under your breath, spinning on your heel to face Aki again. “I can’t keep doing this– this… push and pull thing. I can’t.”

“So your solution is to just pretend I’m not here?” He asked. “Instead of, I don’t know, maybe telling me that?”

Damn, he’s good.

Why does he actually sound… worried? He had the nerve to stand in front of you and actually give a shit about you.

Folding your arms protectively over your chest, you tried your best to not let it show how much his tone affected you. He was scolding you again – in that way only he could… subtly, almost imperceptibly. “I didn’t know how to tell you, and… fuck, okay, maybe ignoring you wasn’t really fair, but I… I needed space to think.”

When he didn’t reply, merely crossing his own arms in response, you added, “Distance.”

“...Distance,” He repeated back, the words sounding a whole lot stupider now that you were hearing them coming from someone else’s mouth.

“I don’t… We shouldn’t be doing this, Aki,” You sighed. “It’s not healthy. For either of us.”

His silence was fucking deafening. 

“So,” he finally said, voice careful, “You want to break it off. If that’s what you want, I completely understand.”

It wasn’t a question.

Then his voice dipped even quieter, something raw at the edges. “That is what you want, right?”

Say yes.

Dammit, say yes.

You opened your mouth. Nothing came out.

Because it wasn’t what you wanted – and, by the looks of it, it wasn’t what he wanted, either. You couldn’t even nod. You just stood there, swallowing down the lump in your throat, knowing your silence was all the answer he needed.

Aki held your gaze for a beat longer. He didn’t ask again. Didn't press. But something in his expression faltered. Subtle, barely there, like a hairline crack in ice.

He stepped past you slowly, deliberately. His shoulder brushed yours, and he lingered just a second longer than he had to. Not long enough to be noticed. Just long enough to be felt.

“When you make up your mind, give me a call,” he said as he reached the door. His hand paused on the handle. “If you need me, I’ll be there. That won’t change.”

Then he left.

No parting look. No sigh. Just the soft click of the door shutting behind him.

And then it was just you.

The hum of the old vending machine filled the quiet. The smell of burnt coffee lingered like something gone stale. You exhaled, but it didn’t make you feel any lighter. If anything, the weight in your chest settled deeper, a kind of ache that made it hard to stand still, but harder to move.

“If you need me, I’ll be there. That won’t change.”

You stared at the counter, at the same cup of untouched coffee you’d been pretending to drink.

What do I want?

The next few days at work dragged like a bad dream you kept waking up inside of. Everything was functional, fine, normal—which somehow made it worse. No one noticed the shift but you, because the shift wasn’t in the air. It was in him.

Aki didn’t avoid you. Not exactly.

He said hi when he passed you in the hallway. Nodded politely when you sat in on briefings. Never once cut his eyes toward you longer than necessary. And it was that restraint—measured, precise—that killed you the most. The way he’d returned to the version of himself you used to know before all this, before the apartment, before the softness. The version that kept things clean. Professional. Cold.

You used to admire that about him.

Now, it just made your chest feel hollow.

The week stretched out like an endless gray horizon, every day bleeding into the next without ceremony or relief. You told yourself silence would help. That stepping back, shutting down, giving space, was the only way to protect what was left, maybe even save something.

But it didn’t. Not really.

It started with the same hollow knot twisting in your stomach that you’d been trying to ignore since the break room confrontation. You showed up early, trying to drown out the unease with the routine – filing reports, restocking supplies, moving through the motions like a ghost. 

You caught yourself glancing toward the hallway, expecting maybe, just maybe, Aki would be there. Maybe he’d say something, anything. But he wasn’t.

He greeted the team when he walked in, clipped and professional, but the moment his eyes found you, they flicked away like you were a shadow best avoided. It wasn’t cold exactly, but it was… distant. Like a radio that had lost signal, static filling the space where connection used to be.

You swallowed hard, telling yourself it was fine. That you were fine. That this was how it had to be.

The next day was worse.

The office was busier, and the tension was thicker. He passed you in the hall with a nod that didn’t quite reach his eyes. During the briefing, you sat close enough to hear the sharpness in his voice as he gave orders, precise and clipped.

You remembered the night at your apartment – how he had held you like he meant it – and the ache that still lingered under your ribs. Now, all of that softness felt like a fragile illusion, shattered and left behind in the past. You hated how badly you missed it. Hated how much you wanted to call him, to hear that same low, satiny voice.

Thursday’s mission day was the worst.

You woke up with that familiar churn of anxiety twisting your stomach, a knot tighter than the day before. There was no room for confusion on missions, no space for hesitation or doubt. You had to be sharp. 

But, fuck, every time you caught Aki’s eye across the briefing room, you saw the same cold, unreadable mask he wore in the field.

He was professional, all business. No cracks. No softness. No trace of the man who had whispered “I’ve never had this before. Otherwise, I think I’d know how to handle it,” in your apartment just days ago.

He gave commands like a machine, precise and unyielding. When he passed you, there was a nod. No warmth, no recognition. You could have been a fucking stranger. A ghost haunting the edges of his focus.

He was putting up walls again. You could feel them being built, brick by brick, every time his gaze slid past you. Every time his voice dropped into something carefully neutral when you entered the room. And the worst part? You were the one who’d started it. You’d handed him the bricks.

That is what you want, right?

By the time Friday night rolled around, the question was buzzing around inside of your head.

You told yourself you were going to have a self care night. All of the week’s situationship drama had you at your wit’s end. You wanted nothing more than to sink into a nice, warm bubble bath, to clean the troubles away from your face, to snuggle up into freshly cleaned sheets in your favorite pajamas.

So, that’s exactly what you did.

You scrubbed at your face until it felt dry – aching to rid yourself of some of the week’s tension. You tied your hair back and settled into bed at the ripe hour of nine thirty.

The radio played a gentle tune, low and steady, like a soft breath in a room full of too much noise. You had your book open, but you weren’t reading shit. The words spilled past your eyes, blurry and meaningless, lost beneath the weight of everything you couldn’t shake.

No, instead, your mind kept looping back to him, replaying snippets of conversations past like a fucking broken record.

“I’ve never had this before,” 

“You missed me that much?”

“You did so good for me,”

“When you make up your mind, give me a call.”

“If you need me, I’ll be there. That won’t change.”

You thought of how fucking cold he had been to you all week. It wasn’t anything you hadn’t dealt with before. No, you wished you could say that he was being petty and taking it out on you. That’s just the thing, though – he wasn’t. For the most part, things had returned to the way they used to be.

It seemed that you were the only one who couldn’t.

You were the one who was falling apart, which was crazy, because you had been the one to call for a break in the first place. You were the one who had insisted that distance would help to clear up some of the congestion in your mind, and what did you have to show? A few sleepless nights? A boatload of stress?

God, I bet he’s not even stressing about this, you thought – briefly. Then, your mind wandered right on back to the argument in the breakroom. The way he had stopped just before leaving, eyes glancing over you like he wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to let you go, either, uttering those damn words that you had been thinking about all fucking week.

“If you need me, I’ll be there. That won’t change.”

Then, the memory of his lips lingered on your spine – warm and hot and tender, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. 

“You did so good for me. I should give you a reward, hmm?” 

The quiet always brought him back. The memory of his hands tracing slow, reverent paths over your body like he was trying to map out every scar, every soft part of you, like he wanted to memorize all of it. The way he hovered just above you for a moment, just breathing you in, like he couldn’t believe he had you beneath him again. Like he didn’t want to rush it.

"Tap my thigh three times if you want me to stop."

Your thoughts dipped lower, slower – his mouth, warm and open at your neck, dragging over your shoulder, his breath skimming the curve of your spine. The way his voice dropped when he issued a command, quiet and aching, like it meant something different when he said it in the dark.

“You feel me, Baby?”

“You’re such a good girl for me.”

He had always touched you like he wanted to prove something. Like no one else had ever touched you right before. And you let him, because maybe that was the only place the two of you ever made any damn sense…

Skin to skin, breathless and tangled in the half-light.

The memory pulled tight in your gut, sudden and sharp, the ache curling low in your belly. Your thighs pressed together without thinking. Fuck.

You swallowed and squeezed your eyes shut.

Because it wasn’t just the way he looked at you—it was what he did when that look shifted, when the tension cracked and gave way to hunger. That unspoken give it to me. That fierce, unrelenting pull between his control and the way he unraveled when he had you underneath him. The way he’d pin your wrists down with one hand, his mouth dragging down your collarbone with the other, low and hot and wanting.

And God, he knew what he was doing.

He always knew how to draw it out of you—how to get you trembling and soaked and desperate before he ever even got inside. He took his damn time. He liked watching you fall apart. Liked the way you said his name in pieces.

“You’ve probably fucked this pretty pussy to the thought of it, haven’t you?”

And you were remembering it now a little too vividly. The way his voice dropped an octave when he whispered in your ear, telling you not to look away. The drag of his hips against yours, slow and firm, like he wanted you to feel everything. The way he tasted on your tongue. The way he grunted when you wrapped your legs around his waist and pulled him deeper.

“Yes, sir.”

“You have no… fucking idea how I feel when you call me that.”

You could practically hear him now… rough and low and barely coherent, right at the edge, telling you how good you felt, how tight you were, how close he was. His fingers digging into your thigh. The heat of his skin pressed flush to yours.

“Do you have… any clue… What you fucking do to me?”

Your hand twitched where it rested on your stomach.

You were turned on. Ridiculously.

And the worst part? It wasn’t just the sex that was wrecking you. It was the way he held you after. The way he tucked his face into your neck and breathed you in. The way his thumb brushed soft circles into your hip like he couldn’t stop touching you even after it was over. The way his voice went quiet, honest, like things slipped out he didn’t mean to say.

Things like “I’ve never had this before.”

And now you were alone in your bedroom, hand inching down your stomach, chest rising and falling too fast, flushed and aching and stupid with want for a man you said you needed space from.

God, space didn’t feel like the clarity you needed – it felt like fucking torture.

You’d told yourself it was about relief, about easing the pressure in your chest, in your gut, the kind that had been building all week. But it wasn’t just about that. Not really.

Because the second your eyes slipped closed, your mind brought him back. His eyes, his lips, the way he’d made love to you only a week earlier, patient and tender and far too careful for someone who claimed not to feel shit.

Your hand moved lower, and you tried to chase the ghost of that night, the way his breath had caught, the sound he made when you pulled him closer. But it was no good. Your skin didn’t burn the way it did when he touched you. Your pulse didn’t stutter the same way. You were too aware of the absence, too aware of the space between then and now.

Your fingers slid down between your folds, collecting slick onto the tips. Slowly, carefully, you found your clit and began rolling the digits over the little nub in circles. A little faster, then, as you kept on thinking about how he’d felt, how he’d kissed you.

It wasn’t scratching the itch. It wasn’t even fucking close.

Before you knew it, the frustration crept back in. Nothing’s working.

Your eyes found your phone on the nightstand almost instantaneously. It was folded shut, sitting aimlessly atop the wooden surface, but it glared back at you.

He was just one call away, after all.

No, stop it.

You sat up, dragging a hand down your face like that might scrub the thought away, like that would ground you in something rational. Your chest felt too tight. You could still hear his voice in your head—low, steady, the way it used to sound when he was whispering things against your neck like he hadn’t meant to say them out loud.

God, what the hell am I doing?

And then you were spiraling again. Remembering the weight of him. The way he looked at you like he was trying not to fall. Like he already had.

Your eyes flicked to the phone again.

No.You clenched your jaw, swung your legs off the bed. Maybe some water. Maybe cold air. Maybe anything else.

But you didn’t move.

You sat there, breathing too hard, fingers paused on your clit like you were holding yourself back from something reckless.

God, what the hell am I doing?

You reached for the phone anyway. With the other hand, you continued to rub yourself up and down, side to side – slowly, tentatively.

And, dammit, you were weak. You knew you were weak because it wasn’t sex you thought about in your time of need. No, it was him – nothing casual about that.

I’m so sexually frustrated right now, I don’t even care.

Then, his words, a cruel echo in your mind, “When you make up your mind, give me a call.”

“If you need me, I’ll be there. That won’t change.”

Still, you couldn’t help the way you shifted your hips to get a better angle, thumb flicking through the contacts until you found that damn name at the top.

Aki Hayakawa.

Fuck it.

You clicked the dial button, and let it ring. Once, twice…

Then the line clicked.

“Hey,” He answered, voice deep and groggy, thick with sleep, “Something wrong?”

I knew he would answer, you thought. Still, it was uncanny, the way relief blanketed you. You were so relieved, in fact, that your heart wasn’t the only thing that twitched at the sound of his voice.

Whoops.

“I… No, I…” You trailed off, suddenly at a loss for words now that you finally got him on the line. 

God, what do I even say? Hey, you know how we’ve been ignoring each other for a week? Yeah, I want to fuck. Ridiculous.

God, this whole situation was ridiculous.

“I just wanted to hear your voice,” You admitted, hand pausing its movements over your clit for just a moment because, fuck it all, you were nervous. 

There was a pause on the other end of the line, followed by the shifting of fabric, like he was in bed when you’d called. “My voice?” He asked. “It’s the middle of the night. Everything okay?”

It’s like I can’t stay mad at him.

“Couldn’t sleep,” Was all you said, hoping he’d get the hint.

“Bad dream?” He grumbled.

Fuck, his voice is so hot, You thought. 

“No, just… thoughts,” You replied, waving your hand around like he could see it. “Won’t shut up.”

Only a partial lie.

“...What kind of thoughts?” He asked, and your heart fucking dropped – suddenly, his tone shifted, and you weren’t so confident about your little mission any longer.

I’m a fucking idiot.

Oh well.

Quietly, you breathed out the answer, like you were scared of it, “About you.”

Another pause, and this time, your heart was racing against your ribs. Your pulse thrummed in your veins, electric. You couldn’t take the words back now that they were out there – you’d officially thrown in the white flag.

Then, he replied, suddenly a lot more breathy, “Yeah?”

Fuck, you thought. Slowly, you resumed your ministrations, touching yourself to the sound of his voice even though you knew it was wrong. 

I’m going to hell, anyways. Might as well go out with a bang.

Before you could control it, a wanton whimper slipped out from your lips. Fuck.

“What are you doing right now?” He asked. The words were a silky, devilish croon, sweet like they’d been dipped in chocolate.

I’ve been caught red-handed.

Rather than answering him like you probably should have done, you stayed quiet, too ashamed of the situation to speak – which was arguably a whole lot worse.

“I was… trying to get off ‘n…” You huffed out, rolling your hips down into the bed, fingers drawing shapes and circles over the most sensitive part of you and, fuck, it wasn’t nearly enough. Arching your back, you sighed, “Get my mind off of you.”

He replied, “Did it work?”

You answered with a soft, breathless laugh, “Clearly not.”

“Needy baby,” he said, voice dipping just low enough to graze your spine, and you nearly moaned at the mere sound of it. There was a pause on his end, weighted, knowing, before he added, quieter this time, “Put the phone on speaker.”

Your fingers trembled as you reached for the device, pressing the button with more hesitation than you cared to admit. A soft click, then the room filled with him. That damned voice. That voice that had whispered against your neck, your shoulder, your chest, now flooding the silence of your bedroom like it belonged there.

Like you hadn’t spent the past week hating his guts.

“Can you hear me?”

You swallowed, heart stammering against your ribs. “Yeah,” you breathed. “I hear you.”

And God, did you. You heard the rough edge to his voice, still heavy with sleep. You heard the warmth threading through it despite the hour, the kind of warmth that made your stomach flutter and your chest tighten in the same breath. You felt it in your fingertips, in the back of your throat.

You heard him and, somehow, you knew he’d missed you as much as you had missed him.

“Good,” He answered, “Let me take care of you. Where are your fingers?”

Oh my god, you thought, I’m really doing this, right now?

I’m really about to have phone sex with my fucking Captain.

And you confessed, “Rubbing… circles–”

You could almost see him – seated on the edge of his bed, one hand raking through his hair, jaw clenched, brows knit with something he wasn’t letting himself say.

“Aw… poor thing. Can’t get off without being told what to do, hm?” 

Your throat tightened. He sounded like he was teasing, but there was something else woven into it. That deep, domineering tone – the one that made you want to give yourself up to him entirely.

And, just like that, you were wrapped around his finger all over again.

“Bring those fingers up to your mouth, pretty,” He said after a beat passed. “Get them nice and wet for me.”

Mindlessly, you followed his command. You pulled your fingers away from your needy pussy, out of your pajama pants, and brought the two digits up to your parted mouth. Then, slowly, you wrapped your lips around them, sucking them clean, getting them wet with your spit. You could taste yourself on your own tongue, tangy and sweet.

Oddly enough, you didn’t feel stupid. No, for the first time in a week, you felt sexy, wanted, desired.

“Are you in bed?”

“Mhm,” You hummed back, the sound muffled by your fingers. The wet digits came out of your mouth with a quiet pop. You couldn’t help but yearn for him – wish that he could have been there in person instead of over the phone, wish that it could have been his fingers, pressing down on your tongue, thick and long.

“Put the phone down next to you,” He told you.

You followed again, hand shaking slightly as you laid the phone down on the bed beside you. 

God, this is so depraved, but I don’t even care.

“Good girl,” His voice was warm, low… almost reverent. You would do anything for him so long as he kept on calling you that. Closing your eyes, you tried to focus on the sound of his voice, to picture him.

“I want you to reach under your shirt,” He continued, “And tease yourself. Lightly. Just enough to work yourself up.”

Feeling an awful lot like you were blindly following his commands, you slipped your other hand up beneath the hem of your cami. You weren’t wearing a bra – because why the hell would you – so it didn’t take much at all for you to get a handful of your own breast. The skin was warm, soft, malleable beneath your touch. You gave it a tender squeeze, then massaged the flesh in your palm like you had all fucking night. 

A blissful little sigh slipped out as your thumb skittered across your nipple. The skin perked up beneath your fingertips, forming a stiffened peak. Then, as you repeated the gesture – intentionally, this time – another. 

“You sound so pretty, Baby,” He commented, and, fuck, it was enough to send warmth fluttering through your chest, your veins. You felt like you were fucking melting. “What are you wearing?”

The classic line.

“A– A cami and…” You whined, “‘n some pink shorts. No panties.”

It was true. You had planned on getting off tonight (one way or another), and had decided to ditch the panties in an effort to make things easier. 

Of course, you hadn’t banked on calling the man you’d been avoiding to get off, and you sure as hell hadn’t banked on him actually picking up.

“Fuck, you’re killing me,” His breath hitched on the other end of the line. “Why don’t you pull those shorts to the side for me, then, and use your fingers to get off, hm?”

Shaking, you reached down between your thighs. Your fingers grazed the lacy hem of the pink shorts you had on. Then, without questioning where he was going, you pulled the crotch to the side and put your fingers back where they had been only a few moments prior.

You moaned, then – quietly, but it was loud enough that he heard it. The skin between your thighs was gooey, slick, coated in your own arousal. The effect he had on you was absurd. He’d just picked up the phone, and you were already soaked.

“Just like that. Nice and slow,” He hummed. “Now, tell me about those thoughts you were having.”

You swallowed, eyes fluttering shut, chest rising with the weight of the words stuck somewhere between your ribs. Your fingers found your clit once more – like muscle memory – and rolled over the bud in tight, narrow circles.

“Was thinking about what I’d do if I saw you again,” you said softly. “Thinking about – fuck – about how good you feel inside of me.”

Well, this call went 0-100 very quickly, didn’ t it?

“I miss your hands,” you went on, “On my body, on my neck… Fuck, your fingers always feel… so good. Mine don’t feel the same.”

You heard him exhale, a sound like a quiet wind through the receiver.

“Don’t tempt me,” He replied. “Go a little faster now, pretty.”

“I keep thinking about the last time,” you confessed. “How you punished me. How you fucked me.”

Another pause. Then, his voice, softer now. “You’ve got a dirty mouth.”

You blinked up at the ceiling, lips parting. “I’m literally fucking myself to the sound of your voice, and you want to talk about dirty?”

“Never denied it. Keep playing with your chest, Baby,” He continued, “And slip a finger into that pretty pussy for me. Wouldn’t wanna keep her waiting.”

“They’re not as big as yours,” You remarked. Still, you took your hand away from your clit, drawing shapes around your aching entrance. “They won’t feel the same.”

“I know,” He sighed, like he wished he could come through the phone and feel you for himself, “But pretend for a moment. Push it all the way in, then crook it up for me.”

You did exactly that. Your finger caught on that place nestled oh-so deep inside of your cunt, that mushy spot that sent electricity flying up and down your spine. The movement caused another cry to slip out, one of his name, “Aki.”

“I’m here,” He replied. “Feel good?”

“Fuck, yes,” You breathed out. You moved the finger back and forth, caressing your walls, pulling more of those noises out of you – the ones he seemed to love so much.

“Add another finger,” Was his next command, “Let me hear you.”

You swallowed, heart thudding so loud it nearly drowned him out. The silence in your room was too soft, too full of want and everything you hadn’t said. Still, you obeyed, shifting where you lay, skin warm beneath the sheets. The second digit breached your entrance, stretching you open, filling you out just right.

A quiet sound escaped you – breath catching as your body answered before your mouth could.

“There you go,” he murmured, gentler now. “Tell me how it feels.”

“So fucking good,” You answered in kind, sliding the two fingers in, out, in again… You were still so tight, so much so that your wrists burned with the strain of moving your knuckles. Still, your fingers found that spot again – over and over, and it was enough to have your jaw dropping, sinful noises pouring from your lips like he was actually here. “Wish it were your fingers instead– Oh my God, Aki.”

And then, you heard it. The quietest sound on the other end of the line. A shift. A breath. A high-pitched, muffled whimper. Your lips parted.

“…Aki?” You asked, your voice gentle, curious. “Are you…?”

He didn’t answer right away. When he did, his voice had changed – rougher around the edges, deeper. “Keep going, Baby.”

Oh my god.

He’s doing it, too.

He’s getting off to the sound of my voice. 

At the mere thought – the mere image of him laying down with a hand down his pants, stroking himself languidly to the sound of your moans, your words – you tilted your head back, exposing the column of your neck, and breathed, “God, fuck– I need… I wanna feel you moving, throbbing– wanna hear you tell me how good I am for you.”

“You’re always so good for me,” He exhaled, a shuddery, airy sound, followed by a deep, velvety moan, “And you feel so fucking good, too– every time, it feels like the first. You drive me fucking crazy, you know that?”

You giggled – yes, really giggled – and plunged your fingers in a little deeper, until your vision was hazy. Your heart was beating a mile a minute, “Should’ve just told me. Instead of ignoring each other, we could have been fucking each other.”

“You’re the one who said you needed space,” He retorted. 

Touché.

Continuing, he added, “But no one else can make you feel the way I can, huh?”

No, you thought, You have no fucking idea.

“No one– ngh,” You breathed. “Shit, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fuck anyone else.” Arching your back, you let out another moan – long, drawn out, and debauched. “Fuck, Aki, I need you.”

You had been stupid to believe otherwise – stupid to believe that you could possibly have stayed away from him.

No, you were addicted.

“Scissor those fingers, stretch that pussy open for me,” He uttered. “Mmh– bet you look so perfect right now, fucking yourself on your fingers like that. Wish I could see you.”

With a laugh, you teased, “Get your ass over here, then– mhm, shit–” Another arch, another shift of your hips, and your eyes were fluttering shut, “Aki-i.”

“You keep saying my name like that and I just might,” He laughed breathlessly. 

A spark lit inside you – dangerous, reckless. “Please. I’ll be good, promise. I’ll make you feel so good.” The words slipped out before your mind could stop them, raw and urgent.

“I know you will. You always do,” he said, the softness in his voice sending a shiver down your spine.

“Please,” you begged, voice barely a whisper.

“Use your words,” he teased, but there was something steady in his tone. “You want me to come over there and make you feel better?”

You hesitated, reality pressing in. It was late, too late for this. “Probably not a good idea. It’s two in the morning.”

“Fuck, it is,” he laughed, the sound warm and rough. “But I would do it if you asked me. I’d take good care of you, too.” The promise in his voice was almost enough to make you say yes.

Hell, with a voice like that, he could make a nun peel her clothes off.

“Really?” You held your breath, the thought of him closing the distance between you sending heat rushing through your veins.

“Of course,” he said simply. “Why, you thinking about it?”

Your mind raced. The loneliness, the ache for him… it was loud, relentless. But, fuck, if you didn’t get him inside of you by the end of the night, you were going to blow your fucking brains out.

He laughed again, low and teasing, like he was reveling in the sound of you begging for him, “God, you’re so bad. You want me, baby?”

You knew this was a terrible idea. You just told him you needed space—that this had to stop—and yet here you were, heart pounding, breath shallow, daring to ask him to come over.

Shit, what am I doing? The question burned in your chest, but it was drowned out by the ache deeper down, the one that made your skin tingle and your stomach twist in desperate knots. You’d been holding it in all week—those unspoken words and half-remembered touches—but tonight, the distance was unbearable. He was the only thing that could soothe the fire that had been growing inside you.

“I need you,” you breathed, voice barely more than a whisper. “Please come over.”

There was a pause, a soft exhale on the other end. “I shouldn’t,” he said, the weight of hesitation heavy in his voice. You could almost hear the struggle behind it.

Then the unmistakable jingle of keys being grabbed. Your heart surged.

“Think you can wait ten minutes?” he asked, a thread of something unreadable – Concern? Longing? –underneath the words.

You closed your eyes, swallowing down the part of your brain still screaming Don’t do this. 

You’d already come this far. 

“I’ve been waiting a whole week,” you said, voice low and shaky but honest. “Just come over and fuck me, Hayakawa.”

There it was. The name on your lips sent a shiver racing down your spine.

He laughed – soft, breathy, a sound that felt like a warm caress through the phone. “I’m coming. I’m coming, don’t worry.”

“I wouldn’t leave my favorite girl waiting,” he added, and that simple sentence made your heart feel impossibly full.

I’m his favorite girl.

He hung up before you could say more, leaving your thoughts spinning.

Your hands trembled as you jumped up, rushing to straighten your apartment like it would make a difference. You wiped the faintest traces of your day off your skin, trying to erase the evidence of any debauchery.

But you didn’t want to disappear – not tonight. Not when he was coming.

You barely recognized your own apartment as you hurried through it, your heart thudding with a mixture of nerves and anticipation. Every surface got a quick wipe down – the coffee table, cluttered with scattered papers and half-empty mugs, was cleared and polished until it caught the light just right. You shoved laundry into the hamper, smoothed out the rumpled blankets on the couch, and flicked off the harsh overhead light, switching on a small lamp to cast a soft, warm glow across the room.

Your bedroom wasn’t much better, but you did your best to make it look less like the chaos of your week and more like a sanctuary. You plumped the pillows, pulled the sheets tight over the mattress, and folded back the blanket just so. The faint scent of lavender from the linen spray mingled with your own perfume, a hint of something sweet and familiar.

Then you caught your reflection in the mirror and paused. You were still in the same soft, worn pajamas you’d been wearing all night – comfortable but nothing special. 

You tugged at the loose fabric of the pajama top, smoothing it over your curves. With a slow, deliberate motion, you loosened the top few buttons, revealing a sliver of skin at your collarbone. You ran your fingers over the silky material, adjusting it until it clung in just the right places – soft, but… probably sexy.

You hoped.

Your hair was a mess from the day, so you took a moment to run your fingers through it, pushing strands back behind your ears and letting the rest fall in loose waves. You traced the line of your neck, feeling the familiar ache of want settle deeper inside you.

A quick swipe of lip balm, a not-so-subtle douse of perfume and body mist – just enough to make you feel like you were somewhat presentable.

And then, after eleven minutes (yes, you had been anxiously watching the time), a knock sounded at the front door of your apartment.

Your breath hitched, and your hand shook as you moved to answer it.

When you opened the door, there he was – a great deal taller than you, looking like something straight out of a wet dream. He had on a form-fitting black tee – one that hugged his muscular arms and narrow waist, illuminating his broad chest and shoulders – and a pair of loose-fitting gray sweatpants. His hair was down, a little frizzy, and he smelled like a fresh spritz of that cologne you wished you knew the name of. Most importantly, his eyes, wild and blown full of lust, were on you.

He came. And, from the looks of it, he wasn’t in the mood to bring up old grievances, either.

His gaze swept over you, slow and steady — from your tousled hair to the sliver of skin at your midriff your pajama shirt didn’t quite cover. There was hunger in his eyes, sure. But there was something softer too. Like he’d been thinking about this. About you.

“Missed me?” He teased you, shining that crooked grin and, fuck, you couldn’t care less about what the two of you had said in the break room nearly a week earlier. 

He was here, in front of you, and all you wanted to do was jump his bones. 

With a roll of your eyes, you reached for the collar of his shirt, tugging him down to your level, “Shut up.”

His mouth met yours before you could second-guess yourself. Heat, pressure, the familiar curl of want. Your back hit the door as he deepened the kiss, one of his hands bracing against the wood beside your head, the other sliding down to rest at your waist like he was holding back. Like if he let go, he’d lose control.

You didn’t want him to hold back.

Somewhere between breaths and half-formed words, you stumbled backward together – his hand finding yours, your laugh caught in your throat as you bumped into the hallway wall, then the other. His hand slipped beneath your shirt, warm against your hip, and the way he touched you – not rushed, not rough, just like he knew exactly where you needed him – made you shiver.

“You look good,” he murmured, voice low as his lips grazed your jaw. “These yours?”

You blinked, confused.

“The pajamas,” he clarified, fingers brushing over the fabric at your hip.

I knew he would like it, you thought with a smug little grin.

You nodded, still catching your breath. “Didn’t exactly have time to change.”

He huffed a soft laugh, lips brushing your ear. “Good. I like you like this.”

“You came all this way to say that?” you teased.

“Nope,” he grinned, pulling back just enough to look you over, thumb brushing your cheek. “Came here to do this–”

He bent slightly and, without warning, scooped you up in his arms, throwing your legs around his waist with very little effort.

You yelped – and he laughed harder, stumbling a little as he adjusted your weight. Your arms looped around his neck, faces brushing close again, and you were kissing him before he even made it halfway down the hall.

It was clumsy. Dizzy, but fuck, it was hot.

You felt your shoulder bump a wall, and he muttered “shit” between kisses, trying not to trip over his own feet – but neither of you could stop laughing. 

Or kissing. Or touching, for that matter. 

You were pressed so close that you could feel the rise and fall of his chest, the strength in his arms, the warmth of his skin through that tight black shirt. Close enough that your lips slid together like fucking puzzle pieces, tongues slipping against one another like you were fighting for dominance.

Your hands were in his hair, tugging at it, and when you whispered, “Need you to fuck me, Aki,” he groaned – just loud enough to make your stomach twist.

“Don’t say shit like that unless you want me to drop you,” he warned, voice gravel-soft, teasing, lips brushing your neck now as he made it through your bedroom door.

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“I might.”

But he didn’t.

Instead, he kissed you again – slower this time, deeper –and the world around you spun just a little.

Oh, you were so screwed.

By the time he reached your bed, you were breathless. Your fingers tugged at the back of his shirt. His mouth was at your jaw. You felt like you were burning alive in the best possible way.

He leaned down, pressing you gently to the mattress like you were something fragile. Like he wasn’t about to break you.

He hovered over you for a moment, gazing down like he was trying to piece together something he didn’t have the words for. Then he leaned in again, brushing his lips across your cheek, your jaw, your neck. Not rushed. Like he was trying to linger in every second before it slipped away. You tilted your head, welcoming him closer, a shaky breath leaving you when his mouth found the base of your throat.

He sighed against your skin – long, slow, and pretty – like this was the one place in the world he wanted to be. 

Your fingers drifted up the hem of his shirt, tugging it off of his head, needing more of him, needing to feel all the places where he was warm and solid and real. You weren’t even sure what you were chasing anymore.

“I missed this,” you whispered without really meaning to.

He didn’t answer with words. Just exhaled softly, the sound muffled against your collarbone. Then, with a quiet curse under his breath, he sat back on his knees and reached behind his head, gathering his hair to tie it. The motion was efficient, practiced, but there was something about it that made your stomach turn over. A kind of anticipation that curled low and deep.

Oh, he’s about to get to work.

His pretty blue eyes flicked up to meet yours once he finished, like he wanted to make sure you really wanted this. Then, he smiled.

Still, he reached for you again, hands steady, gaze lingering on your face like he was trying to read you. You spread your thighs for him instinctively, welcoming, open – and he didn’t need words to understand.

No, the moment before his head dipped, before his mouth met your skin again, you knew he understood. Nothing else mattered – not the conversations, not the arguments, not the consequences.

Just him. Just now.

“Oh my God,” You gasped out, feeling his tongue ghost over your sodden slit, parting the folds and gathering slick into his mouth.

He sucked on you with the most satisfied moan, like you were a fresh-baked dessert, melting on his tongue. Then, without a word of warning, he gripped the back of your thighs with two strong hands and got to work making a mess out of you. 

His mouth was hot, warm, everything your fingers couldn’t be. And, shit, he was on a mission to devour you. He dragged his tongue up and down, up and down, until the tip of it caught on your clit. Then, like he was trying to finish the job you had started, he sucked the sensitive nub into his mouth and licked over it. 

Over and fucking over again.

You leaned back, all the way back, and arched up, lifting your stomach off of the bed. You weren’t even trying to hide it – the way your body reached for him, the way you gasped softly every time his mouth skimmed over a new inch of your skin.

God, you needed this. You needed him, all along.

He lowered his head again, lips barely grazing the skin of your stomach, each touch feather-light and slow, like he was trying to memorize every inch of you. The warmth of his breath against your cunt sent shivers rippling through you, igniting a fire deep inside that spread with every little lick. His mouth moved with an urgency, practiced and insistent.

Your body responded immediately, arching into his touch, the small of your back lifting higher off the bed.. The tension you’d been holding onto – the ache, the longing, the frustration – started to melt under the heat of his mouth. 

Fuck, he knew how to make you forget.

Every suck, every kitten lick was a whisper of desire, slow and deliberate, pulling you deeper into a place you hadn’t been since the last time he was with you.

Holy shit, you thought, Why is he so good at that? It’s unfair.

His hands slid up your sides, fingers tracing lazy, intimate patterns across your ribs and along your waist while he dove in deeper, shifting his head to the side to get a better angle into your needy pussy. The contrast between his cool fingertips and the heat of your skin made your breath hitch, your chest rising and falling unevenly beneath him. 

He moved with a speed that was almost unbearable, lips exploring, tasting, worshipping the apex of your pleasure.

Then, he slipped two fingers into your hole – right where yours had been only half an hour earlier – and began to move them around.

You felt your body begin to unravel beneath him, nerves alight and skin humming with pleasure from his touch. Your fingers threaded through his hair, tugging gently as if to pull him closer, to keep him where you could feel him – close enough to burn. 

“Oh my fucking god,” You pleaded, “Please– Fuck, don’t stop.”

His tongue drew expert shapes over your clit, leaving a trail of hot, lingering kisses that made your breath shudder. At the same time, his fingers crooked up, easily finding your G-spot like he knew your body better than you did. 

The ache in your belly deepened, a delicious tension tightening in your core. You pressed into him, arching higher, wanting more of the way he made you feel – wanted, alive, undone. The room shrank around you, fading until all that mattered was the warmth of his lips on your heat and the steady rhythm of his mouth, the way your moans tangled together in the thick air.

At the curve of your hip, he paused, lips pressing a tender kiss that made your entire body pulse with need. Then, as if savoring the moment, he licked a stripe from the bottom to the top, then back down again – sucking you into his mouth again and again until you were seeing fucking stars.

A raunchy moan escaped you, breath ragged and trembling, as the sensation built inside like a wave about to crash. 

His hands roamed higher now, tracing the sensitive skin just below your ribs, fingers splayed as though to hold you together even as you fell apart. You were burning alive in the best way, consumed by the torment of his touch.

But even as the fire inside you blazed, a part of your mind whispered warning, reminding you of the promises made, the lines drawn, the distance you’d sworn to keep. The tangled mix of desire and caution pulled at you, making your breath shallow, heart hammering in your chest. 

You wanted to surrender completely, to fall into the heat of the moment and forget everything else, but a flicker of doubt held you back.

“Fuck!” You cried out, “So good, just like that–”

Still, the pull of him was too strong. Your fingers tightened in his hair, nails digging gently into his scalp, urging him closer. Your body arched instinctively, craving the fullness of him, the weight of him pressed against you. The ache in your stomach was no longer just frustration – it was need. Raw, undeniable need.

His eyes lifted to meet yours briefly, dark and searching, filled with something you couldn’t name but recognized deep in your bones. For a heartbeat, the world stood still – just the two of you, caught between the pull of what was right and what felt inevitable.

Breaking away to gasp for air, he spoke gruffly, “Look at me. You close?”

“Mhm!” Was all you managed to get out. While his mouth had broken away, his fingers hadn’t slowed down one bit. No, they kept on massaging that spot inside of you, pulling the strings of your orgasm apart bit by fucking bit. 

God, you were so fucking close. 

“I want you to look at me when you cum,” He groaned.

Then, with a slow, deliberate movement, he pressed his lips back to your pussy, trailing kisses down your neck, each one a soft promise, a whispered plea. Your breath hitched again, body trembling under the weight of sensation. The sound you made was quiet but full of everything you were holding back: longing, desperation, the ache of missing him more than you could say.

You let your fingers drift lower, exploring the line of his jaw, the curve of his neck, needing to feel every part of him close. The heat of his touch, the softness of his lips against your skin, it all made your head spin. 

You told him you needed a break.

And yet, here you were, unraveling on his face, unable to resist.

“‘M gonna fuckin’ cum,” You gasped out, clawing at the sheets with one hand, tugging at his ponytail with the other, “Fuck, don’t stop–”

With a small, breathless sigh, you finally let go. The walls you’d built around yourself crumbled, piece by piece, as you surrendered to the moment. Your body melted beneath him, every nerve ending alive and aching for more. The tension that had coiled inside you snapped free, leaving you trembling and undone.

You came hard. His hands held you steady, grounding you as you gave in completely. You arched into him, lost to the sensation, to the feeling of being seen and wanted and held. It was messy, raw, and beautiful all at once.

You rode out the waves of it, hips jumping against his face, smearing an obscene mix of your juices and his spit all over his face. 

You came down slowly, the heat inside you fading into a delicious ache that spread through your limbs and settled deep in your bones. Your breath was ragged, chest rising and falling unevenly, your skin slick with sweat, every nerve ending humming with aftershocks. That desperate, raw craving that had driven you moments ago still lingered, like a spark waiting to ignite again.

It was only then that he broke away.

Aki’s breathing was heavy too, rough and uneven, his chest rising and falling. His hair was wild, tousled in all the right ways, bangs falling over his forehead, sticky with sweat. His eyes caught yours, wild and hungry, like he was burning from the inside out, like he couldn’t get enough.

He pushed himself up, slow and sure. Then, with the bottom half of his face still dripping wet, he leaned in and kissed you – with a hell of a lot of tongue, like he wanted you to see how you tasted.

I need more, You thought.

You didn’t hesitate. Your hands slid over his chest, fingertips dragging lightly across hot skin, as you pushed him down onto the bed with a slow, fierce smile. Your hips settled onto his, straddling him, the heat between your bodies scorching through the thin fabric of your clothes. Like they were personally at fault for the fact that he wasn’t buried inside of you at the moment, you wiggled out of your shorts and cast them to the side. 

Your next mission? To get Aki out of those damn sweatpants and into your guts.

Your hands slid down to the waistband of his pants, fingers trembling just a little as you pulled them down, slow and deliberate. The cool air kissed the skin it revealed, sending goosebumps racing along his hips. That pretty dick of his bounced free, hard as hell and flushed a pretty shade of pink at the tip.

Without hesitation, you shifted forward, pressing your warmth against it, grinding slowly at first, testing the reaction. Then, once you looked down at him and saw the need in his eyes, you lined up with him and sank the rest of the way down

His breath hitched on a moan – a low, ragged sound that vibrated through your chest – and you felt it in your own throat.

“God,” he hissed.

“Fucking hell,” You gasped out, reveling in the feeling of him splitting you open from this angle.

Your movements grew bolder, more urgent, hips rolling with more intent as the heat between you flared higher. You braced your hands on his chest, fucking back onto his dick over and over again like you were on a fucking mission. You could hear the soft, desperate noises slipping past your lips, the rough sound of his breathing quickening.

God, I missed this.

You were both flushed, your skin slick with heat, breaths uneven and voices tangled in quiet need. Your heart pounded like a drum in your ears, the air thick with tension that wrapped around you both like a second skin. Every time he bottomed out inside of you, your nerves burned so deliciously that you couldn’t help but moan, whine, cry out for him like you didn’t have neighbors.

He shifted beneath you, hands finding your waist, fingers digging in just enough to anchor you, steady you. In tandem, you shifted your weight onto the balls of your feet, adjusting your hands on his chest to give you enough leverage to start bouncing a little harder, pressing your body flush to his, feeling the tight coil of desire building between you. You could feel how much he wanted you – not just the wild hunger in his eyes, the way his jaw clenched, and the tremble in his breath, but in the way he fucking throbbed inside of you, filling you out like you were molded to the shape of him.

Your moans mingled, quiet and needy, filling the space between you like a secret language only you two understood.

Aki’s eyes were still on you, wild and storm-colored, lashes low and damp from the heat of the moment. His hair was a mess, falling into his boyish face in loose strands, some of it clinging to his cheek, others caught behind his ear. 

You couldn’t tear your gaze away, not even if you tried. Not from the way he looked at you. Not from the way his hands settled at your hips.

And God, the way he exhaled. A sound so low and shaky you felt it in your throat.

“You look good on top of me,” He noted with a hum.

"You're… ridiculous," you murmured, but there was no venom behind it. Just breathlessness.

"Yeah?" His voice was raspy, fingers twitching slightly on your hips. “You look like you’re about to pass out and still won’t slow down.”

"I can't," you admitted. “Feels too good.”

His hands shifted, gliding from your hips to your thighs, squeezing once – slow and grounding – and you shivered. Every inch of your skin was alive, electric with how close you were. How warm his abs felt under you, how his every breath moved you with it. His sweatpants had ridden low on his hips, just enough for you to be able to fuck him without wasting time on getting them off.

You moved again, faster this time. Testing. Letting the friction build in small, incremental waves. And when your breath hitched, he breathed out a curse, gripping your thighs just a little tighter.

“Look at you,” he murmured. “So desperate for it. You’re squeezing me, Baby.”

You rolled your hips again in response, slow, deliberate. “Like you’re any better,” you whispered.

His hands slid up to your waist again, holding you steady now as your rhythm faltered from how sensitive you’d become. You tried to say something smart, something teasing, but all that came out was a stuttering moan when he guided your hips up, down, up, down.

“Doing so good for me,” he said softly, just beneath his breath, like he couldn’t fucking believe it. “Shit, this pussy was made for me.”

You let out a shaky laugh, half-choked by the way your legs were starting to tremble. “Don’t… don’t say that.”

“Why?” He hummed, the sound of it low and amused, but warm. “You gonna fall apart on me again?”

You didn’t answer. Couldn’t, really.

You were too busy fucking his brains out.

Everything was getting fuzzy. Your hands slid up his chest, over the curve of his shoulders, anchoring yourself against him. Your body moved without thought now, chasing the high, chasing the warmth of his voice and the press of his fingers and the way he let you use him without question. 

You were wetter than you had been moments ago. In fact, every time you bounced up and down, the most sinful sounds came from your bodies – squelching, moaning, fucking.

And Aki looked like he was about to break.

He watched your mouth fall open. Watched your lashes flutter. Watched your head tip back and your fingers clench and your rhythm stutter. You clenched down around him like you would die if he slipped out, even for a moment.

“Come here,” he whispered, sitting up just enough to press his forehead to yours.

You let your arms wrap around him, forehead pressed back to his. Your nose brushed his, your breaths tangled, and he held you like you were something fragile again. Like this wasn’t just a release, but something more. Something heavier.

And when your thighs finally started to give out—when your body gave that last little twitch of exhaustion—he didn’t hesitate.

He caught you. Picked you up. Shifted you back without a word and guided you against him, moving you in his lap with an urgency that made your eyes sting.

You let him. And, somehow, he slid even deeper in.

“Oh my god,” You gasped out.

Let him take over, let him hold you, guide you, let him breathe your name in that low, reverent way that always turned your bones to ash.

You weren’t thinking straight. Not about the breakroom, not about the space you’d asked for. Not about how complicated everything had gotten between you.

Right now, there was only him.

Only Aki, fucking you like there was no tomorrow.

Only the warmth of his skin and the rasp of his voice and the feeling of your bodies pressed so closely together you swore there was nothing left between you. Just tension. Just longing. Just heat.

And when he finally let go, when you felt the tremble of it in his body, the quiet gasps against your collarbone, the way he pulled you in closer.

You knew.

You could lie to yourself all you wanted about needing distance, about making clean breaks. But deep down, you were already his.

“Aki–” You cried out, fucking back onto his dick while he moved you up and down. “‘M gonna fucking cum.”

“I’ve got you,” Aki murmured, voice low and breathless, his arms wrapping tight around your back. One hand slid to your spine, fingers splayed there, grounding you. “It’s okay. I’ve got you.”

Your breath caught, staggered, stuck in your throat like a sob. You couldn’t keep yourself upright anymore.

A tremor ran through your limbs, and then you gasped, sharply, while the world tilted on axis. You came for the second time that night, and it was glorious. Your fingernails dug into his shoulders, his chest, your thighs trembled, and you burst like a bubble on top of him. 

You collapsed onto him a moment later.

Your chest pressed flush to his, your forehead landing clumsily against the curve of his neck. Your hands found his shoulders, warm and solid and shaking just slightly beneath your fingers, and clung there, trying to steady yourself, trying to breathe.

But it was hard. Everything was spinning.

Your eyes fluttered open, catching his wild gaze. For a moment, everything slowed down. The tension, the chaos, the confusion all melted away, leaving just the two of you.

And then it hit you – like a spark igniting a fire you hadn’t dared admit before. 

You realized, really fucking realized, just how deep this went. 

Your breath hitched, trembling as you pressed your forehead to his neck. The words tumbled out before your mind could stop them, raw and urgent, carried on the heat of the moment.

“I love you,” you gasped, voice breaking.

His breath hitched too, a sharp intake just as his body tensed beneath you. His fingers clenched at your back, and you felt the pulse of him deep inside of you as he finally came, sending shockwaves up your spine. He finished with the prettiest, most velvety moan you’d ever heard, eyes and head rolling back while he reached his peak, spilling heat into your guts.

He was breathing hard, too – quick, uneven exhales. You could feel the rise and fall of his chest beneath your thighs, the warmth of his skin, the steady drum of his heart. 

Then, like he just processed what you’d said, he looked at you, “What?”

Your throat went dry. You swallowed hard, the truth slipping out before you could stop it. “I… I love you.”

There was a pause, long and heavy, but he didn’t say it back. You hadn’t expected him to.

But, fuck, that didn’t make it hurt any less.

“I…” He trailed off.

You lay on him after, your breath still shaky, the weight of your confession hanging in the quiet between you. Your fingers traced faint circles on his chest as you tried to steady yourself, as he pulled his pants back up over his hips.

Breathe.

“You don’t have to say it back, but…” you whispered. “We can’t keep doing this.”

He stayed silent for a moment.

“I’ve thought about it a lot,” you continued, voice soft but steady. “And… I think this has to be the last time. The last time we’re like this.”

“Okay,” he finally said, still sounding out of it.

“Okay?” Your voice cracked with disbelief. “That’s all you have to say? After everything?”

“What more do you want me to say?” His voice was low, tired. “I can’t ask you to stay. It would be unfair.” He sighed deeply. “My heart can’t be in it. You deserve something better than that.”

You searched his face, desperate for something real. “Is it, though? Is your heart in it? Because one minute, you don’t give a shit, but the next, you’re asking to see me, telling me you care, that I’m your favorite girl. I think you’re bullshitting me.” Your voice broke, the ache coming to the surface. “I can’t keep doing this – the back and forth, the waiting. It’s messing with my head.”

He closed his eyes, letting out a long breath. “I do care,” he said quietly. “More than I probably should. But this job… it doesn’t leave any room for that. Getting close like this – it’s dangerous. There’s no place for love in Public Safety,” He opened his eyes again, meeting your gaze with raw honesty. “Besides, you deserve more than half of me. I can’t… be what you need.”

He was breaking your fucking heart. The worst part? You couldn’t even hate him for it.

No, he was right.

There was no place for love in your line of work.

“I don’t need you to be perfect, Aki. I need you to be real.” You searched his face, desperate to find some flicker of what you knew was there beneath the walls he put up. “It’s more than just Public Safety… You say you don’t feel anything, that you can’t. But the way you act– the way you look at me sometimes – tells me otherwise. Make up your fucking mind!”

He looked at you then, that usual armor faltering for just a second. He was at a loss for words, and for once, you saw the man beneath the surface – the one caught between what he wanted and what he thought he should do.

“I meant what I said,” You continued, “But, God, you’re such a fucking dick sometimes.”

“I told you from the start that this would be a bad idea,” He retorted, furrowing his brows. “Don’t act like you didn’t beg me to do it anyway– like you weren’t the one who begged me to come over here tonight. Yeah, maybe I’m a dick, but you’re just as guilty as I am.”

The sting of his words hit you like a ton of bricks, the accusation wrapped in truth. You had pushed, pressed, begged for moments like this even though the consequences loomed large. You’d been the one to open the door, to invite chaos in, and now it was crashing down around you.

You couldn’t even blame him.

You felt the ache settle deep inside – the hurt of being called out but also the frustration of the tangled mess you both had created.

He sighed, the fight draining from him. The tension in his shoulders softened, his voice dropping to something quieter, almost remorseful. “That was mean. I’m sorry. Look, I think we should talk–”

Your heart hammered in your chest, raw and aching, but your voice was firm, trembling with the weight of everything you couldn’t say aloud. “I don’t want to talk.”

“But, I–”

“I think you should leave,” you cut him off, the anger simmering just beneath your words. “You were right. This won’t work.”

“Maybe I should,” he said back, voice low, heavy with a weight you could almost see pressing down on him. He looked as if he was about to say something else, something that could change everything, but the words got stuck, lost somewhere between his heart and his mind. Instead, he simply looked at you, conflicted, torn.

He slid out of bed slowly, like he was trying to avoid the inevitable. 

He reached for his shirt and pulled it on, the fabric slipping over his skin like a barrier between the two of you. You watched him, your chest tightening, every second feeling like you were fucking dying inside.

He paused by the door, turning to face you one last time. His eyes were dark and serious, but there was something softer there too – regret, perhaps. 

“I’m sorry,” he uttered quietly, the apology so heavy it seemed to fill the room with silence.

The door closed behind him with a soft click, but it echoed through your chest, louder than anything else had ever been before. You sat there frozen for a moment, the quiet swallowing you whole.

And then the dam broke.

The tears came fast, hot, and uncontrollable, sliding down your cheeks, burning your skin. Your whole body shook as you sank into the mattress, overwhelmed by the weight of everything – the love you couldn’t hold, the future you’d lost, the man you wanted so desperately but couldn’t keep.

You cried until there was nothing left but the memory of his face – dejected, words on the tip of his tongue – when you had sent him away. 

Had he been about to say it back? You thought. No, don’t be ridiculous.

You slapped the pillow over your face, groaning into it.

If I’m doing the right thing, then why does it feel so wrong?

All you knew was that you'd sent him away, and it felt like you'd just fired a gun through your chest.

a/n: how are yall? im sorry lol. as i said over on tumblr, we're going to see more glimpses into aki's mind as the story progresses to its conclusion. will that be a good thing? stay tuned ;) as always, feel free to say hi or drop a comment telling me what you thought (if you hate me, thats okay too, feel free to let it out. this is a safe space lMKFAOAOAO). love you all!! x (dont worry, i'll do some damage control. trust the process.)

credits: einruji__ on twitter . I obviously do not own csm or anything related to it. please do not reproduce, copy, or translate my works anywhere. dont fk w me im a bruja.

also: come find me on my wattpad if u wanna interact more!

taglist: @mitsuyeahhh , @sleepysnk , @enneadec , @noaabean , @em1e , @drakensdarling , @bertholdts--butt , @satanlovesusall666 , @mitsuwuyaa , @noctifule , @scaraphobia , @ask-the-insect-hashira , @lovingranchturkeyweasel , @bontensbabygirl , @slvdsjjk , @novacrystalli , @hanmastattoos , @kodzuksn , @hqtiny , @ohmaiscool15 , @redlittlequeen , @leivane , @goldeneagles-posts , @yeahblahlame , @no-oneelsebutnsu , @cookiesandcreammy , @cawwn , @the-haitani-baton , @littlelovebug98 , @armani78 , @mindurownbussines , @kokos-property , @violetmatcha , @hp-simp505 , @acethebrave , @mitsuyeahhh , @sleepysnk , @enneadec , @noaabean , @em1e , @drakensdarling , @bertholdts--butt , @satanlovesusall666 , @mitsuwuyaa , @noctifule , @scaraphobia , @ask-the-insect-hashira , @lovingranchturkeyweasel , @bontensbabygirl , @slvdsjjk , @novacrystalli , @hanmastattoos , @kodzuksn , @hqtiny , @ohmaiscool15 , @redlittlequeen , @leivane , @goldeneagles-posts , @yeahblahlame , @no-oneelsebutnsu , @cookiesandcreammy , @cawwn , @the-haitani-baton , @littlelovebug98 , @armani78 , @mindurownbussines , @kokos-property , @violetmatcha , @hp-simp505 , @mrshayakawaa, @xxpr3ttyk173rxx

wanna join the taglist? | pornstar ; chapter index

[sehunniepotwrites]

FOREVER SUMMER | teaser

SYNOPSIS. They say that three is the magic number, and with you having two childhood friends by your side every summer, you consider this to be true. Summers were always for no one else but you, Johnny, and Jaehyun. You want that to stay the same but of course, nothing ever does. Not when feelings come into play. You’re in love with Johnny, Jaehyun’s in love with you, and quite frankly, you don’t really know how to move forward. So much for the summer of your life. 

PAIRING. Johnny x female!reader x Jaehyun 

GENRE. Childhood Friends to Lovers!AU | Summer!AU | Beach!AU | Lifeguard!AU | Surfer!AU 

WARNINGS. Based on Jenny Han’s The Summer I Turned Pretty, Johnny and Jaehyun are cousins, profanity, alcohol consumption, food consumption, smoking (vaping and weed), nicknames (for her: Shadow, Munchkin; for Jaehyun: Dopey; for Johnny: Jojo), more warnings to come

DISCLAIMER.This is work of fiction. I do not own the people/characters and concepts I have written about. You cannot translate or copy my work. Crossposted on AO3 by sehunnypot.

“Mom, drive faster!” you yelled from the passenger seat, wondering why you didn’t volunteer to take the wheel instead. With you at the wheel, you would’ve arrived at your destination hours ago. If this was a normal day, your mother would have scolded you for raising your voice at her but this was not any given day. This was the start of your epic summer in Neiho. 

Being in the town of  Neiho for two and a half months meant living in a gorgeous beach house that was a block away from the shoreline. A large two-story structure with six bedrooms, four bathrooms, a pool to swim in, and a backyard large enough to run around in–what could be more perfect than that?

The answer to that question was found in the other inhabitants of the mansion. Your twin aunties–not your blood relatives but your mother’s best friends from university–were the co-owners of the house, passed onto them by their parents. When your mom had nowhere to go one college summer, the twins picked her right up and invited her into their summer abode, and a yearly tradition had been formed. Fall, winter, and spring breaks were for other things but summer was always reserved for the beach house on Neiho’s Cherry Lane. 

Even though the three friends who were as close as sisters started their own respective families, the tradition carried on with the expansion. And that’s where the two most important inhabitants come to play–Johnny Suh and Jaehyun Jeong. The boys, as you called them, were cousins who were like brothers to each other. And to you, they were your best childhood friends. 

Being the same age as you, you were closer to Jaehyun–the pretty boy with the dimples and the deepest, dad laugh you could ever hear. Although apart for the majority of the year, Jaehyun never failed to text you at least once a day, whether it be a meme or just a random message that could be deemed as “too much information.” You shared a lot with him and in turn, he did the same with you. To you, that lunkhead basketball man was an open book. 

His older cousin, however, was not. Unlike Jaehyun, Johnny kept some pages closed. There were times when he was inaccessible and neither you nor Jae could read him. If something were bothering him, Johnny would keep it to himself rather than burden you or Jaehyun with his problems. As the oldest, his duty was to shoulder it, shove them aside, and make sure whatever happened didn’t affect you or Jaehyun in any way possible. His pouty lips would press into a thin line, his straight brows would furrow, and his eyes would narrow until you couldn’t see the beautiful honey-brown people would die to swim in. Other times, though, he was like sunshine and his wide smile brightened your days as no one else could. 

“Sit your butt down, child, we’re almost there,” your mother laughed, playfully shoving your shoulder so your butt fell back into the cushioned seat. Her hands turned the wheel and the tires landed on Cherry Lane. She passed one, two, three houses before pulling into the driveway. Before she could put the car into park, your fingers flew to the seat belt latch, ultimately freeing your body from your chair. Never mind that you were leaving your mom to deal with your bags. 

With enthusiasm that was seen nowhere else but here in Neiho, you rushed out of the car and down the nostalgic pathway filled with memories that lingered in your mind. You spotted the garden rocks you painted how many summers before as well as the wind catchers that you created with the boys during an arts class they were so reluctant to take. Holding back a smile at all the familiarity, you shoved the keys already in your hand eagerly into the lock. A twist to the side and your hand on the knob was all it took to open the grand, wooden door. A sigh that came from way deep in your chest let itself out as the cooling air conditioner and the smell of the sea salt vanilla candles blew your way.

With one hand against the clean, white walls, you used the other to slip your shoes off. “Anyone home?” 

Home. That was what the beach house on Cherry Lane was. It was home. 

Loud, resounding pounds from the staircase alerted you that someone was there and you knew exactly who that person was before they made it down the steps and rounded the corner. Always heavy-handed in the way he handled his body, Jaehyun Jeong stomped his way to you, his gait echoing through the quiet hallways. His smile was wide as soon as you landed in his line of vision. The next thing you knew, his body was hurling your way and you had no time to escape what came next. 

“Munch! You’re here!” he yelled into your ear right before lifting and twirling you around. Jaehyun’s voice sounded deeper than the last time you saw him in person. Your surprised squeal drowned out his low-toned laughter and your feet kicked against the hard core he worked on in the last year. 

“Put her down, Jae, before you break something,” his mom, Jieun, called from the steps, a fond smile taking over her face. Her features matched the ones on Jaehyun’s goofy face sans the reddened ears and cheeks. 

Her sister and Johnny’s mom, Hyesoo, peeked out of the kitchen to add to the scolding. “Jae, if you break something, you’re gonna have to replace it with your own money, honey, so be careful!”

“Listen to them!” you whined as his hands continued to dig at your side. “You’re hurting me!” 

He adjusted his grip. “Yo, how’s the weather up there, Munchkin? Better than down here, I hope,” Jaehyun teased with a cheeky smile. 

“Shut up, Dopey!” You kicked him in the abdomen harder than the last and his stronghold loosened just enough for you to wiggle away. 

As you caught your breath from laughing too hard, you took in your best friend’s appearance. Jaehyun’s wetsuit was half on–the top half folded right at the waist–while his buffer chest was slightly covered by the heathered tank top he probably threw on in a rush. Honey brown hair unstyled and strands thrown every which way, he still looked like the same boy you remembered. Just a tad bit taller and bigger than before. And to top it all off, his dopey smile had you mirroring one too.

You bet that the girls in his major department went crazy over him. You’ve heard some of his stories through your weekly FaceTime calls–from his short-termed girlfriends and situationships and friends with benefits–but none of those ever lasted. Curiosity bit at you, wondering why they never did, but you respected Jaehyun enough not to pry. If he wanted to, he would tell you. 

“Hey there,” Jaehyun chuckled again, his large hand coming up to your chin to squish your cheeks in between his fingers.

You stuck your tongue out and blew a raspberry at him, spit landing on the back of his hand. Jaehyun gave you a look of disgust, wiping the wet spots against your shirt. You’d think at twenty-one, the pair of you would outgrow childish habits but that wasn’t necessarily the case. 

“Just say you’re happy to see me, damn.”

“Never going to willingly admit that,” you retaliated with a shit-eating grin.

Jaehyun’s hands zoomed back to your face to pull at your cheeks. His tough grip tugged them so hard that it stung a lot more than it should have. Your consecutive slaps against his chest finally got him to stop and while you rubbed your cheeks better, he stifled his laughter behind his palm. 

“You might not be happy to see me but I am always happy to see you, Munch,” Jaehyun pressed a wet kiss on your throbbing cheek in return.  You were too busy tending to your pain to realize the redness that took over the tips of his ears. His mother and aunt were not. Giggling at each other, they enjoyed the boy’s embarrassed state, loving the fact that you were the only one to get him that pink.

“You’re something else, Jae,” you shook your head at him before rushing over to your aunties to hug them. You missed them both. 

“Baby, don’t just stand there,” Aunt Jieun scolded her son, coming over to slap him against his bicep, “go use those muscles that you keep bragging about and help your auntie carry their stuff into the house.” The boy, dorky as ever, saluted his mother and ran out the door in his broken-in Rainbow sandals. 

“Where’s Johnny?” you questioned. A glance around the house and you couldn’t see him anywhere. It was unlike him to not greet you as soon as you entered the property. Your heart dropped a little at his lack of presence. 

“Oh honey, your one-track mind never changes, does it?” Aunt Hyesoo grinned at you with a knowing twinkle in her eye. You pouted at her and she simply poked you in between your curled-up brows. “John’s out surfing. We told him to wait until after you arrived but he promised he would be back before your pretty little face showed up. Knowing him, that boy probably lost track of time.”

The front door swung open and slammed against the wall only to reveal a sheepish Jaehyun. Once again, the boy underestimated his strength. If one were to look at the wall behind the door, they’d spot a dent in the wall from all the rough handling but that’s a thing everyone in the house let go of. Holding the door open, Jaehyun allowed your mom to roll her luggage in first before hauling your load in. As the three mothers reunited, Jae nudged his sharp elbow to your side. “I was about to go join Johnny for a bit, wanna come wi–”

“Yes, let’s go, let’s goooooo!” Not even letting your best friend finish his sentence, you snatched the keys to his mother’s Rav4 and headed out the door. “We’re heading out!” You called behind you before barreling out the door with your tote bag in hand.

Jaehyun trailed right behind you with his deep laughter ringing through your ears. When you didn’t toss him the keys and remained at your spot on the driver’s side, he hesitated to get in the unlocked vehicle. His lack of movement made you roll your eyes. You had gotten your license last fall at the age of twenty so driving was no problem for you. At least, it wasn’t anymore. If you went back to the previous summer with you at the wheel, Johnny at your side, and Jaehyun behind you, you would probably say otherwise. But that was then. You were twenty-one now and had almost a year of driving experience under your belt.

“Get in the car, my driving’s better now, I promise.” The engine started at the twist of your hand and Jaehyun remained outside with a hardened look on his face.

“Sure it is, Munch,” he replied with a brow raised. 

“It really is, how else would I be able to get my license?” A few bats of your lashes and a pretty pout were all it took for Jaehyun to cave in and buckle himself in the car. He could never say no to you. Johnny was a little harder to break–he was a tough cookie to crack–but in the end, little old you were always his weakness. 

A defeated sigh escaped Jaehyun’s pink lips. “You’re lucky I love you so much.” 

Jaehyun’s little profession of love made you warm inside, just like your never ending friendship. “The luckiest girl in the world.”

“And the prettiest,” Jaehyun joked, swiping at your cheek.

“Ew, is that how you flirt with all the girls back home?”

“Why? Is it working?” From the corner of your eye, you could see his brows dance. “Are you finally falling for me? It’s about damn time.” 

“Absolutely not. Disgusting.” 

“Damn, and to think, I could have finally had a chance with the prettiest girl in Neiho.”

“Oh shut up.”

The beach was a two-minute drive away. If it weren’t for Jaehyun’s surfboard mounted on top of the car, you would have been fine with the seven-minute walk or the short bike ride to your perfect little paradise. The midday crowd had made its way into the beach’s car lot, leaving a tiny compact space for you to wiggle into. Your first few tries weren’t successful, even with Jaehyun’s guidance, leaving him to laugh at your attempts before you switched places. Johnny would have never teased you like that. 

Jaehyun parked the car slowly yet successfully as you waited outside with crossed arms. He shot you a smug look, complete with his sunglasses sitting on top of his nose bridge and a smirk that lifted one plump cheek. 

“Don’t say anything,” you pointed a finger at him. “I have trouble in compact spaces.” 

“Wasn’t gonna,” Jaehyun cheekily answered as he started to take his baby blue board down the rack.

Huffing, you turned your body away from your best friend and faced the shoreline. One breath was all it took to inhale the calming scents of the ocean. The sun beamed down on you; while others hated the direct light, you didn’t mind it. Accompanied by the soft breeze making its way through your loose hair, it was a perfect beach day. Your past self was right to wear your two-piece under your clothes instead of your undergarments. 

Leaving Jaehyun behind, you stripped your loose top off, slipped off your Birkenstocks, and sunk your toes in the sand. The gritty, warm feeling surrounding your skin was something you missed dearly. Others hated the texture of sand–how it was coarse and hot, and how it got absolutely everywhere for no apparent reason–but it excited you. Feet running on autopilot, they led you straight to where the ocean met the shore. Dry sand turned wet, causing you to sink, sink, sink deep into the ground and you loved it all. When the cool rush of water hit your skin, you loved it even more. You closed your eyes and sighed, taking in the sounds of the waves hitting the rocks. 

You opened them just in time to see a tall, built surfer riding a clean wave with no breaks. He made the sport look effortless when you know that in fact, it was not. At all. When the figure reached the shore not too far from you, the man planted his surfboard right in the sand. His height was not too far off from the item itself, which was a feature many onlookers admired. 

After reaching down to catch some water in between his fingers, he ran that same hand through his thick dark brown hair, pushing his wet bangs out of his way. Your mouth began to split into two at the sight of him. Even without seeing his entire face, you knew that sharp jawline and stature anywhere. You saw it every summer, towering over you in a protective stance. The hands running through his hair used to hold yours whenever you had your scary movie marathons and the sculpted arms attached to them used to press you tightly against his chest whenever you needed comfort. 

There were so many times your thoughts drifted from the topic at hand to that face and build. Dreams. Daydreams. Little scenarios in your head that fed the monster called delusion. 

With tunnel vision for that man alone, your feet took you straight to him and your voice called out his name. “Johnny Suh!” 

Johnny’s hands immediately reached behind him as you catapulted yourself onto the broadest back you had ever seen in your life. Your arms circled his neck and your bare legs coiled around his waist as he held you in place with no complaints. Your dry body pressed against the cold, damp wetsuit but you didn’t care. You were with Johnny now. 

To you, the older of the boys wore many hats. He was your long-time friend. Your protector. Your crush. Your mom, as teasing as she gets, also referred to him as your first love. Your aunties rallied behind her with that and you always found it embarrassing. But loyal as they were, your secret never slipped past their lips. It was one for the girls, they would always say. You weren’t sure if Jaehyun caught on at some point–if he did, he never uttered a word. 

Johnny turns his neck to glance at you. His eyes took notice of the sparkle in your eye and the bright light of your smile and it brought that charming grin out to play. “Aren’t your clothes going to get wet?” he chafed, tugging on the thin fabric of your loose linen shorts. 

“Don’t care,” you replied, tilting your head to meet his gaze. His smile widened as you did so, the whiskers by his nose appearing out of nowhere. “Saying hi to you is more important than my clothes, Jojo.”

“Well then, hi.” The way Johnny said that two-letter word had your heart racing. It was soft and sweet and endearing. It was everything Johnny was. And it was beautiful. 

“Hi.”

He tapped two fingers on your thigh. “You ready to get down yet?”

“Nope.”

Johnny chuckled again and with your chest pressed tightly against his back, you felt the vibrations it caused. “Looks like my little Shadow finally came back to me.”

Shadow–that was what he called you. 

It all started when your moms noticed that you were so infatuated with the older boy that you stuck so close to him, following his every movement. When he would stand, so would you. And in turn, Jaehyun did too. When Johnny would want ice cream, you would copy him and state that you craved some too. And when he joined a volleyball camp at the country club, you tried to join too, only to be turned down because you were a girl. It upset you to no end at the young age of nine, that Jaehyun could follow the twelve-year-old Johnny but you couldn’t. To get rid of your sorrow, Johnny–although tired–played with you at home and taught you every little skill he learned that day. Your hobby only developed from there. 

“Looks like it,” you giggled. 

No matter how far you were or how much time had passed, you would forever remain as Johnny’s shadow. Just like Peter Pan’s shadow always found its way back to the leader of the Lost Boys, you would always find your way back to Johnny.

Your little moment was interrupted by the one and only Jaehyun, who has his surfboard lifted above his head. So into being within proximity to Johnny, you failed to notice the tiny drop of Jaehyun’s happy demeanor. “Dude, you done for the day or?” Jaehyun asked his older cousin, gesturing to the waves. 

Johnny turned to him with you still hanging like a koala on his back, happy that you are reunited with your two boys. “Nah, I was thinking about catching a few more before heading back. Tide’s pretty good today.” 

“Sweet,” Jaehyun grinned, his tiny little fangs peeking out as his mouth widened. He pointed his chin to the clear, blue water. “Let’s go?” 

Johnny tapped your thigh again and released your legs from his hold. “You okay with that, Shadow?” 

You nodded, patting your purse. “I got my audiobook, I’ll be fine.”

“You didn’t want to surf today?”

You tried your best to fight the warm flush taking over your body. “No, I was…too excited to see you, I guess. Didn’t want to change or grab my board.”

Johnny shot you a soft and tender smile. “You sure it wasn’t the beach calling your name? You always couldn’t wait to get down here.”

“I’m sure,” you replied, looking up at him. 

“Next time then,” Johnny reassured you. “Missed having you out there with me.”

Your heart stopped for a moment. How was he so good at that? Johnny was too good at making you feel like mush and he didn’t even know it. It was no surprise so many of the people you hung out with growing up had a crush on him. 

“Alright then, what are we waiting for?” Jaehyun shouted, raising his board high and running straight for the water. “First surf of the summer, let’s fucking goooooooo!” His loud voice faded out as he got deeper and deeper into the water. 

Johnny’s large hand quickly ruffled your hair and you swatted his grip away, grumbling as you did so. “Be right back. Don’t go anywhere. Don’t talk to anyone you don’t know either.” His overprotectiveness came into play. The warning was unnecessary, seeing how all the summer kids knew each other. It was like a big reunion every season, with parties and bonfires all around. Running into someone at the beach was far from surprising, in fact, it was expected. 

You waved him away, already busying yourself by setting up your spot a bit further from where the sand met the sea. Your AirPods were out and your phone’s camera app opened up, ready to take pictures of the beautiful scenery and your boys. “Stop worrying, I’ll be right here. Go.”

Johnny left, but not before giving you a little shove to the side of your head. You snapped multiple pictures of his back as he ran to his board with Jaehyun already riding a wave in the background. The sun was beginning to set, making the skyline the perfect backdrop for your pictures. Waiting for the next wave to hit, they sat on their boards. At one point, they shifted to wave at you, and being the person you were, you took more candids of them and sent it to the group chat with your parents. 

You slipped on your AirPods and continued onto a new chapter of the audiobook you started on your road trip here. The waves were loud enough to hear through your headset and the orange sun didn't blind you as much with Jaehyun’s sunglasses resting on your nose. This was the perfect way to spend your first day back at Neiho. 

With the amazing weather, the two best boys in the entire world, and the prettiest beach you have ever laid eyes on, this was going to be the best summer ever. It had to be. It was the summer before your last year of university. After graduation, your whole life could and would change. And you, as headstrong as you were, wanted this to be the perfect summer. 

The summer of all summers. 

The summer you would remember forever.

LIFEGUARD'S NOTICE BOARD. Hi y'all. This fic has been on the backburner for a while and I've slowly started to pick it back up again. This is only the first scene in the grande scheme of things that idk will ever be completed BUT it was too good to keep in the drafts! Tell me what you think: are you Team Johnny or Team Jaehyun?

TAGLIST. (tagging anyone who is on my gen taglist and people i talked to about this fic!) @johtenrecs @justalildumpling @bat-shark-repellant @bebsky @smileysuh @smileyerim @taelme @moonctzeny @lebrookestore @baekhyuns-lipchain @donutswithjaminthemiddle @ahcaratzen @espresseo-cafe @turtash @ravenjoongie @omlhyuck @cryingforjae

© sehunniepotwrites, 2023

[dogcircle-scans]

I'm really curious to know if you have officially dropped the manga. If so (and even if not obvs), I'd just like to thank you for so many amazing years of awesome translations. This manga may not be very popular in the west but I'm glad you kept bringing it for so many of us

Hey, sorry for just now seeing this even though this question was sent back in late November.

No, we haven't officially dropped the manga, and Idk if any group has picked up the series while I was gone. Emphasis on the "I" because our absence was not a consenting choice made by anyone else in this group. So if anyone harbors any kind of resentment, then do not direct it towards anyone but me. If we ever decide to officially drop the series, I'll make an official announcement on this blog. To be honest, I wasn't really gonna make much hubbub about a comeback and just post a chapter as if no time had passed. But, because I got this question and you were very nice about it. I'll give some insight.

- 🦙

The only reason I'm an active part of this fandom (any fandom now really) despite it being against my lurker nature and excessive anxiety issues is because I was encouraged to do so by a friend. If you know me from Discord, then you probably know that aside from running this blog, I'm leader of the scan group and owner of its server, I'm even an admin for the Natsume fan server which is its own separate thing.

I don't know if that sounds already sounds overwhelming, but just to scare you, I also proofread the scripts so the dialogue sounds natural and act as quality checker for each chapter. This means cleaning/redrawing sections of pages if the CLDR forgot or didn't meet the standard of quality I'm looking for. Similar with typesetting, I'll rearrange the text if I feel it could be done better. I'm also the main SFX person. When it comes to the scan server, outside of running and maintaining it, I also act as mod to make sure people aren't posting anything inappropriate or inoffensive + setting up bots and permissions.

When I was in High School and even during my early years of college, I could manage it cause I had the support and energy for it. Plus, my love for Natsume was scary intense. So when life got hard, I found that working on scans acted as a lifeline.

Then I had a messy fallout with the friend who prompted all of this, and things shifted. It didn't help that things in my personal life got really bad and more or less stayed that way for 2/3 years. And because of the association, and the guilt of falling behind, working on Natsume was no longer a stress-relieving activity. It became the source of my stress. I ran away because I was scared and overwhelmed. It wasn't healthy and it only made things worse, honestly.

But, I've been really hard on myself over this past year, and I finally reached the point of wanting to come back, but the guilt from being a deadbeat was still eating me alive. Then I got really sick at the start of this month, and I'm no lie, I'm still sick... but that gave me a lot of time to think and reevaluate all kinds of things. Because honestly? I miss working on scans and the collaborative aspect that I fell in love with because of Natsume.

And literally just this past Saturday/Sunday night, I sent a message to the group, apologizing for what I did and provided a similar explanation of why I did what I did. I trying it as just an explanation and not an excuse - I hope I was able to do that here too.

I told my group to give me several days before I actually start working on scans again, though, because it'll allow me to catch up with everything and figure out what needs to be done next, and it'll also give me more time to recover.

Thank you once again for being kind and understanding! I really appreciate it 🥹💚

[supergraphicgirl81]

With A Little Help From My Friends ⋆⁺₊❅.

Franco Colapinto ( ੭ ˘ ³˘)੭‎°｡⋆♡‧₊˚

Formula 1 college hockey team social media AU! Instagram Edition

The tight-knit college hockey team, the Silver Blades, run by team captain Max Verstappen, isn't just about scoring goals—it's a chosen family. On and off the ice, the team has each other's backs, whether that's through college assignments, throwing awesome parties, or winning the championship together. Follow these overworked, tired, college students as they post through their day-to-day life.

Translations → Small text, Italics

With A Little Help From My Friends Masterlist °｡⋆♡ Franco Colapinto Masterlist °｡⋆♡

Franco43Colapinto

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Franco43Colapinto college

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YukiTsunoda22 so profound of you franco, whoever says you are dumb and all you do is party has never seen this side of you before (liked by Franco43Colapinto)

Franco43Colapinto exactamente

FrancosAunt Hola Franco, necesitas llamarme inmediatamente. ¿Qué he oído acerca de que vas a fiestas y bebes alcohol? Sólo tienes diecinueve años. Será mejor que te recuperes. (liked by Franco43Colapinto) Hello Franco, you need to call me immediately. What have I heard about you going to parties and drinking alcohol? You're only nineteen years old. You better get yourself together.

Franco43Colapinto no fui yo it wasn't me

Albono Franco. Where did you acquire those skewers of meat?

Franco43Colapinto none of your business grandpa who uses the word acquire in the 20th century

Albono You concern me

GeorgeRus I for one am just glad to see you doing your work for once. (liked by Franco43Colapinto)

FrancosGrandma Hola mi guapo Franco, la cosa parece que va genial, ¿estás comiendo lo suficiente? Deberías llamarme pronto. (liked by Franco43Colapinto) Hello my handsome Franco, things seem to be going great, are you eating enough? You should call me soon.

Franco43Colapinto La universidad es genial, practico muchos deportes, tengo muchos amigos y puedo hablar con mucha gente, aunque muchas de ellas son muy extrañas, es divertido experimentarlas, aunque te extraño mucho a ti y a mi familia. y nunca lo harán. compararte University is great, I play a lot of sports, I have a lot of friends and I can talk to a lot of people, although many of them are very strange, it is fun to experience them, although I miss you and my family a lot. and they never will. compare to you

MaxVerstappen Oh so hes like this in every language? great

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Franco43Colapinto JSUT DID MY FIRST EVR BEER KEG STND WWO HOOBOOOIOOOOOO

CarlosSainz Posting this in broad daylight is crazy (Send me the videos) (liked by Franco43Colapinto)

MaxVerstappen Franco 😐

Franco43Colapinto msx

MaxVerstappen Get home now. (liked by Franco43Colapinto)

Franco43Colapinto i gt you s chrrdrburget

ChargingSarge He threw up in my shoes 🙁

Franco43Colapinto guiltiy into proven innoncent

DanielRicciardo The coolest freshman I may know. (liked by Franco43Colapinto)

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liked by MaxVerstappen, ItsYourname, and others

Franco43Colapinto i have a natural calling for sports

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MaxVerstappen FRANCO PUT A SHIRT ON

Albono You cropped me out. You cropped me out and posted a thirst trap of yourself instead.

Franco43Colapinto point is?? what else would i have done me veía perfecto i looked perfect

LandoNorris4 literally gnawing at the bars of my cage rn (liked by Franco43Colapinto)

OscarJP Lando???

HockeyFan Wait newbie franco is kind of fine (liked by Franco43Colapinto)

ItsYourname maybe you could teach @OscarJP how to be better at padel

OscarJP Diabolical

Franco43Colapinto oh i could teach him how to be better in so many ways

OscarJP THATS CRAZY??!!

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Franco43Colapinto first boys trip lots of fun lots of drinking i think my liver died back on 44

tagged ChargingSarge, LandoNorris4, GeorgeRus, OscarJP, and MaxVerstappen

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LilyMuniHe Franco are you okay?

Franco43Colapinto just another day en el infierno in hell i am thriving no te preocupes por mí don't worry about me

CharLeclerc If anybody does ever take a trip with Franco, warning, he takes pictures of you when you're showering

OscarJP I've genuinely never heard anybody talk more in my life (liked by Franco43Colapinto)

MaxVerstappen Your a great addition to the team Franco, can't wait to see you play next season. 👍

Franco43Colapinto okay don't make it weird now you're still an old man

LandoNorris4 franco you may be my gay awakening (liked by Franco43Colapinto)

Franco43Colapinto its okay this happens a lot soy irresistible I am irresistible

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[our-queer-experience]

jesuses christests ok

i just had, an upsetting text conversation with a friend

he is allocishet, his parents are homophobic but in the "ugh i don't like it but sure whatever" kind, and he was upset at this time but i didn't knew it.

i just got a zine of a show i love and is very important to me, and a couple of prints and stickers from a really good artist. I have a drawer in which i keep art stuff, and there is a part that i hide under a wood print AND a book, and it has my lgbt+ art stuff. i have other things really well hidden in my room, like an aro flag and a couple of pins.

so, i was rearranging this drawer because it was kinda messy, and because i was already moving stuff so i could hide the stickers. And i ended up with the zine and a comic book (the width of like a 300 pages normal book) that i had to hide in another place because i liked how the drawer ended up.

i sent a joking text to my friend about running out of place to hide my gay stuff and the conversation went kinda like this (rough translation):

him: why would you hide them?

me: gay gay homosexual gay art (still joking)

him: well i think it's about time, right? I think it's time to just go ahead and tell your parents

me: HA, i like living in my house and having an ok relationship with my family, you know how homophobic my parents are

him: don't you get tired of hiding who you are?

me: I genuinely hope they never find out in their lifetime. that's actually the plan, like at LEAST i'll like to live on my own, but i'd rather if they never found out

him: why?

me: i'm serious, it would get ugly fast

him: why?

me: ✨ho✨mo✨pho✨bia✨

him: but why?

me: it's not a rational thing, they're catholics! my mom once saw a sticker i bought that had two guys sitting a little too close to each other and she freaked out! i was shaking the whole time! she torn the sticker!

him: but why

-end of the (summarized) convo-

and i'm LIVID because he knows:

1.- i am chronically ill and rn my parents are paying for my meds and my doctors

2.- i work and i'm saving for going to college (not in usa btw), and with my shitty paying job i could not afford rent and food AND my BLOODY DOCTOR APPOINTMENTS AND MEDS!

3.- he knowssss and i told himmm, worst case scenario but it could happen: i get kicked out, really shitty situation and when i didn't found a thing when i did research on people that helps lgbt+ people in this situations. Best case scenario: lots of ugly talks, i get taken to some kind of convertion therapy, i have to get rid of all my stuff, i get a broken relationship with my parents (which rn it's ok to good), and i'll probably end up going back to the closet ANYWAYS

and it also drives me crazy that, oh! he goes out with a girl, he can be careless and leave his phone unlocked and his parents see a convo in which he talks sex stuff with his gf, the only thing his parents ask him about is of whether he used protection! no biggie! they're happy for him!!!!!

but if I where to date another woman, and my parents found out while i still live with them? it would be horrible!!!! and stil!!!! he asks "oh but why keep it hidden?" BUDDY it's not about not being open of who am i, it's about not being homeless!!!! it's about being able to take my pain meds!!!! it's about my body not deteriorating!!!! agh!!!!!

🫂

[monsterswithimagines]

Undisclosed Desires - Part 23

Joe Goldberg x female!reader

Summary: Twenty minutes before he would have met Guinevere Beck, Joe meets you instead. You intruige him, but it will soon become clear that there is something off about you. Words: 867

Masterlist

We already see Joe killing Ron on the show. I figured I don't have to describe it again. Besides, things are getting interesting...

DISCLAIMER: the towns and situations described in this chapter are fictionalized. There is no Nehalenia College in Koewacht. IDEK what is in Koewacht. (Koe means cow, so maybe a lot of cows??)

I have been very busy these last three days, (Y/n).

Nobody will miss Ron, but I miss you and I have been neglecting you. I feel bad. We have only texted a few times, and you say you are busy and jetlagged. But I can tell you’re just giving me an excuse to be distant, because when I text you, you respond right away.

I have been a bad boyfriend, but I think if you knew why I was so busy these last few days, you’d forgive me. I hope you would, but I can’t exactly tell you, so instead I just lounge on your bed and I text you:

ME: Hey lovely.

YOU: hey!

ME: What are you up to?

YOU: well it’s 8 pm

YOU: so nm

YOU: watching this dutch talk show w my grandpa

YOU: hes annoyed im on my phone lol

ME: Go watch the show, (Y/n). I don’t want to piss off your grandfather before I even get there.

YOU: yessir! love u

ME: I love you, too.

I am so tired. I was hoping we could call for a little bit, but if you're at your grandparents’ house, I don't want to push it. Instead I take a shower in your bathroom and use your soap so I smell like you. Then, in my own, clean clothes which I keep at your place, I get on your bed and take out your laptop.

As always, your WhatsApp texts are open. I haven't checked them much since we got together - we are good together and I don't need to know everything you talk about with everyone - but there are new texts from a name I don't recognize.

And you are texting this person right now. I thought you couldn't be on your phone?

The texts are in Dutch, but they started about an hour ago and there aren't that many yet, so I take the time to translate them.

MITCH: hey hey! heard you're in NL? wanna get together?

YOU: sorry man, kinda busy

MITCH: ouch. did you just blow me off?

YOU: uhhhh kinda?

YOU: it's nothing personal

YOU: my boyfriend’s coming in 2 days

I smile.

MITCH: since when do you have a boyfriend lol

YOU: a few months now

MITCH: and i guess it’s serious?

YOU: pretty serious

MITCH: wtf

YOU: ?

MITCH: i kinda thought we had a thing, you know?

YOU: mitch…

YOU: you gotta get over this

MITCH: and what is it you think i have to ‘get over’?

YOU: you know what

That last message, you sent while I was reading the other ones, and I have to translate it separately. Apparently Mitch does know what, because he doesn’t respond anymore. But I don’t know what, and I really wish you would specify.

You send a message to Nadia:

YOU: guess who just texted me…

NADIA: Who?

YOU: mitch

NADIA: Ew. Block him.

Thank you, Nadia!

YOU: i can’t just block him 😭 you know what happens when i block him

NADIA: You want to stay at my place tonight?

YOU: could i? i don’t wanna tell my grandparents about this…

NADIA: Hey, at least Joe will be here soon! Then you won’t be all alone in your big scary AirBNB.

YOU: lol

YOU: i can’t wait tho

YOU: 😁😊

I frown. Normally I’d be happy that you can’t wait for me to get there, but right now I just want to know who this Mitch guy is.

He is not on your Twitter and he is not on Nadia’s Instagram. All I have are his texts to you and looking for his number on Google does absolutely nothing.

But when I look up your high school, along with Mitch’s name and yours, I finally find something interesting: two news articles with your names in them.

I Google your name again. There’s your high school picture. You went to Het Nehalennia College but when I try to translate the rest of the text again, I still can’t make sense of it - it must be full of spelling errors, because some words just will not make sense.

I try to look Mitch up, using all sorts of combinations. Your school and his name, his name and yours... Nothing.

From: Omroep Zeeland, June 21st, 2017

KOEWACHT - YESTERDAY AT 3:00 in the afternoon, high school student at Nehalennia College, Mitch Wegganger, was arrested on suspicion of stalking and attempted assault against his classmate, (Y/n) (Y/l/n). The stalking allegedly started after (Y/l/n) stood up for Wegganger against a classmate in March. (Y/l/n) did not return our requests for comment.

From: Omroep Zeeland, June 23rd, 2017

KOEWACHT - HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT Mitch Wegganger - who was arrested early this week on suspicion of stalking his classmate (Y/n) (Y/l/n) - was released this morning after (Y/l/n) withdrew her report. Wegganger: “This is all a huge misunderstanding. I didn't stand outside (Y/n)'s house and hurt her. I just wanted to talk to her.”

(Y/l/n) is still unavailable for comment.

I can’t believe this.

You, (Y/n), have a stalker.

And you didn’t tell me about him.

[transmutationisms]

how'd you learn to read french? could you point me to some resources? ideally free, i don't got them dollars or euros.

i took it for about 7 years in school, but a lot of that was kind of useless as far as reading knowledge goes because they were trying to teach us conversational skills lol. i had three semesters in undergrad that exclusively focussed on reading, which helped a lot, but since then i've just gotten stronger by practicing.

what i would recommend is just to download a 'french for reading' book (there are 5 different ones on libgen for english -> french; i believe i used the palmeri in college, but they're probably all fine) and work through at least the basic grammar that way. then it's really just a matter of starting to translate things.

iirc my coursework started us on larochefoucauld's maxims and pascal's pensées, then we did some descartes and rousseau's émile, and then switched to literature: racine's phèdre, one of molière's plays, baudelaire's fleurs du mal, rimbaud, and passages from proust's à la recherche du temps perdu. but there's nothing magical about that sequence -- what would be most helpful to you will depend on what sorts of things you want to read in the long run (eg, for me personally it would have been more useful if i'd learned on biology texts or something, just to introduce me to that vocabulary set earlier, but oh well).

you can also find collections of children's stories (i did this for german and found it boring but often helpful; fairy tales might be fun but be aware of the literary passé simple tense vs the more common-use passé composé) or you can also start on news articles since those tend to be written in plainer language with limited tenses. we used to use le monde in high school lmao. in any case just try to pick texts that have translations available so you can check your work.

i'd also strongly recommend wordreference.com if you don't already use it (online dictionary, but it'll give you examples of the word in sentences and in unusual usages, plus there's a discussion forum feature that is actually useful sometimes) and linguee.com, which lets you search phrases and shows actual documents and websites where they occur. most of the corpus is things like government websites, but it still saved my ass a good few times when i was starting out and would run into usages i just hadn't learned in the classroom.

& if you're looking for historical sources, the french national library's digitised collection is free/searchable at gallica.bnf.fr, and includes texts that have translations available as well as ones that don't.

[danganronpadespairtime]

Chapter 2 part 1 asks

All responses are in this post for organization. There may be chapter 2 spoilers.

(space to prevent misclick)

xmicrophonyx asked: How long did it take you to make the Insane Literature Girl MV? It looked like you spent a lot of time on it!

Making the drawing and video itself took a little over a month. But I had been planning out the text portions (translation, text excerpts, ideas for puzzles) of it for a little over a year (my planning document dates back to May of last year and somehow amassed 12K words..?).

I wasn't working on it continuously for a year, though; it was just an on-off project that I was lazily thinking about for a while.

Anonymous asked: Hi this is a random question but I was wondering if I was just seeing things or not. Does Xander have a tongue piercing? I think in some sprites it looks like he has one and others where it looks like he doesn't. He is totally my favorite character and I love his design by the way!

It's not visible in all of his sprites, but he does indeed have a tongue piercing.

He thought if he had one there he could slip it under his old school's strict "no piercings allowed" policy by just closing his mouth every time a teacher walked by.

Anonymous asked: one genuine question, was there anything specific you were considering when coming up with the cast’s birthdates? or were they pretty much random

Some of the birthdays are specific dates with meaning, then the rest were filled in throughout the remaining months of the year in a somewhat even temporal spread.

xmicrophonyx asked: For this chapter's BDA and fake-out BDA, were they made with 3D assets, just 2D art, or a mix of both? What was the process in making them?

It's a 2D image with a depth map.

Anonymous asked: Is the Hope's Peak the DRDT class went to a high school or something more like a 4-year university for young adults? (Sorry if this has already been addressed somewhere, if the information exists I couldn't find it.)

The second thing. The US's Hope's Peak Academy is post-secondary education. It is equivalent to an American college.

Anonymous asked: I really love the character Fan-Made MVs you do, like for Min and David! Do you plan on making one for every character?

No. I only make MVs for songs that I think fit a character, that I like, and that I have a good MV idea for, which is not something I can control.

Anonymous asked: Does David's new design have a default sprite?

This one is his default sprite.

Anonymous asked: Hi DRDT Dev! This is more of just a simple question and not so much a chapter specific question. We know David like to eat simple foods like ready oat meal. But can he cook small meals like scrambled eggs, omelets or things like that? Oh and how does David normally manage his feelings? I like to think that he journals but this is just a head canon of mine. I'm curious if you could share anything like that about him for us!

He can cook a decent meal, he just prefers not to.

Badly

Anonymous asked: Do the cast have exact ages or are they just deemed “colleges aged adults”?

They all do have exact ages, down to the day, but that's a spoiler. For now, just know that they're over 18.

Anonymous asked: Something I'd been wondering since Rose had talked about her secret with Teruko: She mentions that she was bailed out and came to work under the Spurling Foundation by Richard Spurling. In Bonus Episode #2 with Xander, he mentions the name Duke Spurling with distaste in regards to the Chariton incident. Are Richard Spurling and Duke Spurling the same person? Or separate people? If they're the same person, is Duke a nickname or a title?

Duke Spurling and Richard Spurling are different people, but they are brothers. Duke is (was?) a politician. Richard is a billionaire philanthropist who founded the Spurling Foundation. Duke is not officially affiliated with the Spurling Foundation, but he did receive sizable political donations from that foundation while he was still active in politics.

Duke is a first name, by the way, and not a title. Also, Duke is quite old, in the 80-something-ish age range. Basically, old enough to have been alive during the Tragedy.

Anonymous asked: I was wondering if there are any other characters with canon sexualities?

I said before that I would only confirm sexualities in the story itself, but I changed my mind.

Whit - bisexual Eden - lesbian Ace - gay Veronika - pansexual David - bisexual with a strong female lean. but he describes himself as "straight but also not opposed to any random impulses that may arise" Teruko - unlabeled/explicitly ambiguous

Everyone else is subject to interpretation for now.

citrusircus asked: You've stated before that you don't want any of your assets used with AI, but I'd still like to ask whether or not this extends to the character.ai site (considering no intellectual properly is actually used to make these). Completely understandable if you'd rather people not touch it! Just wanted to clarify.

I don't like character.ai.

tophats-tea asked: Was there a particular incident that caused the scar on Charles’ arm, or was it just a usual chemical spill from working as a chemist?

It's a dog bite scar.

Charles is under the impression that it's a birthmark.

Anonymous asked: why does hu have claws on her hand?

Those are not claws. They are plectra for guzheng.

shi-daisy asked: For my question, I'd like to ask is there anything random you can tell us about Levi? He's my favorite character and I'd love to know any miscellaneous details about him be it preferences or silly info you may have of him or how you came up with his character. Thanks in advance!

He has an almost unruly sweet tooth and will consume an entire bowl of lollipops (his favorite candy) in an hour if he doesn't watch himself.

If you see him in future art with a white stick of some sort in his mouth it's almost certainly a lollipop.

murderacademia asked: Ooh, do you have a random fun fact about Charles as well? :) he’s a big fave of mine! Thank u!

He's secretly very attached to his hair length, and doesn't like the idea of cutting it short.

welpuu asked: do the cast all have favourite colours? if so which ones? (also sorry if this was already asked 😭)

Teruko: red (reasoning: association) Charles: "Why would I assign emotional value to colors? That's a ridiculous waste of energy." (cerulean) Whit: neon pink (reasoning: "Pink!!") Rose: lilac (reasoning: likes subdued colors for their subtlety) Arturo: blueish white (reasoning: sterile) Levi: cerise pink (reasoning: feminine) Eden: daffodil yellow (reasoning: happy) J: black (reasoning: cool) Hu: emerald green (reasoning: elegant) Nico: none (reasoning: no interest) Ace: dark blue/purple (reasoning: refuses to provide reasoning) Arei: azure (reasoning: "I'm blue, so clearly it's the best color!") Min: taupe (reasoning: comforting) Xander: bright red (reasoning: passionate color) Veronika: white in conjunction with other colors (reasoning: brings out other colors well) David: gamboge (reasoning: inspiring)

Since I'm on the topic, here are least favorite colors as well.

Teruko: pitch black (reasoning: unsettling) Charles: dark red (reasoning: looks like blood) Whit: gray (reasoning: boring) Rose: none (reasoning: all colors have their value in the right situations) Arturo: neon colors (reasoning: tasteless) Levi: neon yellow (reasoning: a little hard to style) Eden: blue (reasoning: "Kind of a downer color...") J: pink (reasoning: obvious) Hu: blueish white (reasoning: sterile) Nico: white (reasoning: unsettling) Ace: titian (reasoning: doesn't like himself) Arei: green (reasoning: looks like puke) Min: white and pink together (reasoning: annoying) Xander: dark red (reasoning: looks like blood) Veronika: white in the absence of other colors (reasoning: soulless) David: gray (reasoning: depressing)

cuckaracha asked: but also for a real cool and sexy question. Can we have a totally normal and not fucked up fact about Ace?

When I designed Ace from the start, I wanted him to wear heels (because he is short), but I thought that it was inaccurate for a jockey's outfit, and I didn't do it. But then later I remembered that he isn't jockeying at the moment, so it would have been fine if he wore heels. In any case I decided it'd be okay to add them back in his new design.

When it comes to jockeying, Ace wishes he was shorter (he is on the tall side for a male jockey), but for all other aspects of life he might find it bothersome to be shorter than everyone else. So he might have a tendency to wear shoes that enhance his height. Subtly of course.

Also, he has 9 siblings.

Anonymous asked: taking a note from the levi asker, are there any random fun facts about nico or veronika that you have? those two are my favorites!

Nico cuts their own hair. Veronika's single green earring is a 'good luck charm' given to her by her dearest friend.

welpuu asked: another simple question sorry...im curious about if any of them have favourite ice cream flavours...or like maybe flavours in general? unless thats too broad then the ice cream flavours is fine 😭

Teruko - red bean Charles - coffee Whit - vanilla Rose - red velvet Arturo - chocolate mint Levi - caramel Eden - honeycomb J - black sesame Hu - rose Nico - "the flavor" (doesn't elaborate further) Arei - birthday cake Min - lemon Xander - sauerkraut??? Veronika - funfetti David - pistachio Ace - frozen bananas (actual frozen bananas, not ice cream)

sunriseindigo asked: does rose have a favorite art medium (acrylics, colored pencils, graphite, etc)? also, does she do digital art or is she strictly traditional?

Paints are her specialty, particularly oil, and she rarely uses any other medium. She does not do digital art.

Anonymous asked: would you be willing to spare any fun information about Rose?

Her whole family has plant-themed naming.

Daisy (older sister)

Saffron (younger brother)

Holly (mom)

Iris (mom)

xmicrophonyx asked: Is there any concept art of the DRDT cast?

There is, but it's so embarrassingly awful that I don't think it will see the light of day any time soon.

Other than this.

I'm certain is the first ever drawing of DT. I guess Arei used to have black hair.

Anonymous asked: what does the cast smell like :)

Teruko - Dirt, sawdust, burnt smell Charles - Laundry detergent Rose - Paint and chemicals Arturo - Antiseptic Hu - Womanly perfume (light) Veronika - Womanly perfume (heavy) David - Men's cologne (light) Levi - Men's cologne (heavy). Also, somewhat faintly, leather Nico - Cat Ace - Sweat and menthol Min - Lavender/eucalyptus/lemons/whatever essential oil she decided to use that day Whit - Fruity fun shampoo (for kids) Xander - Men's 3 In One Body Wash (for men). Also, somewhat faintly, gunpowder MonoTV - metal and burning rubber

Anonymous asked: Is the Spurling Foundation and XF-Ture Tech the same thing?

They are totally unrelated institutions. The former is a philanthropic organization, the latter is a for-profit tech company (that also seems to do a lot of other things).

spyrkle4 asked: Question! Will sometime in the future will we know a little more about the sibling characters of some of the cast members? I honestly am just curious about J's brother and wanna know more about him

It’s good to have names to refer to characters, so here are the names of some characters who have been referred to in the story (and additional information about other characters as well)

Fuyuko + Natsuko Nageishi (Arei’s older sisters, by around 2-5 years): They are identical twins, in both appearance and persona. Actually, their appearances are mirrored. The two of them are always seen together and share everything with each other. They are best friends and very close.

Ryan Rosales (J’s younger brother, by about 1-2 years): He likes playing video games, and the two of them play games often. He also loves annoying J. One of his hobbies is cross-dressing.

Elliot “Ellie” Cuevas (Charles’ older brother, by about 11-13 years): Although he has not had an appearance yet, he looks shockingly similar to how Charles looks now. His favorite food is pancakes and his favorite animal is dogs.

Felicity Giles (Arturo's younger sister, by about 3-4 years): She also has not made an appearance yet. She has low self-esteem and admires Arturo a lot.

These characters (and others) have reference sheets, but those are meant for internal use only, so maybe later I will draw reference of their designs to show you all.

zamazencian asked: Is there a fun fact about Xander you could share? He's my favorite guy :D

He has a very weak sense of taste, and most normal foods taste bland to him. As a result, anything he cooks has an overwhelmingly strong flavor that makes it almost inedible to other people. He seems unaware of this.

sourapplecake asked: what kind of accent does xander have? i can’t tell if it’s british or australian or what 😭🙏 <- a little slow

British.

Anonymous asked: Do you ever have any plans of making promotional splash art in the future? I apologize if this has already been asked!!

Not really.

Anonymous asked: Is Min, like... truly really into essential oils and healing stuff?

She is aware that essential oils don't have any scientifically proven meaningfully significant benefits, but finds them relaxing nonetheless.

Anonymous asked: Does David wear hairclips because he likes them or is there some other reason?

It's his manager's idea for "branding." But David thinks they're embarrassingly stupid looking and doesn't like wearing them.

saraanzu asked: do you have the death order for the rest of the show decided in your head already, or are you figuring it out as you go along?

Decided from the start.

xmicrophonyx asked: Any fun facts about Whit?

He's the best cook in the cast. His specialty is French.

Anonymous asked: where did David's hairclip's go after he had his little transformation in chap2? cuz it looked like he ate them lol

www.google.com/search?q=pants+pocket&tbm=isch

Anonymous asked: hi, sorry if this is a silly question but how do you pronounce davids surname? ive seen it pronounced "chee - em" or "keem" but i just wanted to know if there's an official way to say it teehee

CHEE-em

chee as in cheese

em as in seem

0-kaiya-0 asked: Will there be more FTEs?

Maybe, but I'm not sure I want to put out any more polls.

Anonymous asked: will there be any canon couples?

I'm not one to write romance, so don't count on it.

Anonymous asked: Are people allowed to make nsfw content of your characters?

Sure.

Anonymous asked: How is Veronikas last name pronounced?

GRE-ben-SHI-ko-va

Gre as in regret

ben as in the name Ben

shi as in shiba inu

ko as in cold

By the way, here's a tip for (approximate) name pronunciation. If you can identify the origin of the name, go to Google Translate, type it in the left box, set the left language to the appropriate language, and hit the speaker/play button to have it read out-loud.

[bywons]

୨୧ STRAWBERRIES WITH CHOCOLATE— y. jungwon

pairing. yang jungwon x f!reader        w.c.  0.5k               tw/cw. not proofread mentions of food, blood(to describe blushing), kissing, tell me if i missed out smnthg!        genre. college au, non idol au

sru's note! oh my gah writing after a long time, so excuse me if it's bad :( reblogs are appreciated!

m.list ⏐ requests are open! ⏐ navi

The library was rather quite. But of course there would be faint noises of rapid turning of pages and scribbling sounds of pen against paper, accompanied with hushed whispers of random gossips among the students.

But right now there was a higher frequency beside your ear, blubbering nonsense, while munching on the chocolate coated strawberries you made.

"—and then professor Kang decides to kick me out of the class?! Whereas i was just earin som shhtrawberries bro!" Yang Jungwon, the constant trouble up your ass, kept on rambling incoherently while shamelessly munching on the snacks.

"i think professor Kang did a wonderful job", you sighed, drifting your eyes over the texts of the open book in your lap.

You could already feel the heavy eye rolls from Jungwon as he moved his whole body to face you, a small plastic box of few remaining chocolate coated strawberries in his hands.

Jungwon leaned closer and you could figure out his little cocky smirk already. the box of strawberries now rested on the library floor, as he got closer to your ear, his breathe hot and hitting your cheeks, his lips grazing your ears like a feather.

"oh?", jungwon chuckled as he whispered, "you're only saying this cause i'm with you now, aren't ya?"

"oh shut up 'won!", you immediately shifted your head away from him but you couldn't control the evident blush that dawned on your cheeks. his proximity, his low voice and the tingling sensation on your ears were just enough to feel blood shoot up to your ears.

"how can i shut up now that you've given me a nickname, hmm?", jungwon smirked once more, tossing another of the strawberries in his mouth.

"i-", you couldn't formulate a single sentence at this point as jungwon would always have a flirtatious and smug comeback up his sleeve. he grinned, leaning down against the library shelf.

his striking smile also added to your now dumb state, by the way.

"You've been eating these for a week now", the book was closed in your lap and pointed towards the very plastic box in jungwon's hands with a bored pout.

"That's cause you've been makin' me these for a week, sweetcheeks", jungwon winked.

rolling your eyes, you scoffed, tilting your head as you watched jungwon munch away the snacks you made for him, looking ever so compelling even in an action as simple as this.

suddenly he just pulled you closer, letting your head flush against his chest and your skin bathe from his body heat.

"jungwon i think there's a lot of people h—"

"mm-hmm, i know," he cuts you off, wrapping a hand around your shoulder, "but i know for a fact that we're at the very back of the library, and i only care about my sweetcheeks and this cute stuff she made for me."

yang jungwon was yet again successful in making blood rush up to your cheeks, only this time, he had both your bodies falling together like puzzle pieces.

"by the way," you mumbled, playing with the loose strings hanging from jungwons sweater, while he saved one last strawberry in the box, "are the strawberries any sweet?"

"sweet as sugar," jungwon sang. he guided your neck upwards to him, as he looked down at you, smiling ever so softly.

"but you know what is even sweeter?"

"what?"

although you didn't get any verbal answer from jungwon, the answer did come from his lips, by connecting his to yours, to a saccharine kiss. heck, you could even taste the strawberries with chocolate!

© bywons, 2024. do not copy, translate or upload any of my works without my permission.

[elliesangell]

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ You and me together forever P.2⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

warnings: mention of self-harm,cuts,blood,depression wc:5.6k notes: This part is much longer and it's a continuation of the previous part,I hope you enjoy this part!I’m still learning English, so I translated this text myself. I apologize for any possible mistakes.I would also like to thank everyone who supported my last part, it means a lot to me, Thank you! Enjoy reading it!

Part 1 <-<-<- Previous Part

You run into an abandoned classroom on the top floor of the college and it was a place to be alone with your own thoughts, to hide from prying eyes and judgment, Curled up in a corner, you let your tears fall, sobbing uncontrollably, as if the walls could understand your pain

Your phone began to vibrate in your pocket from incoming messages, interrupting the silence, you did not immediately dare to look at the screen.But curiosity took over.

“Hey, where are you?”

“I want to talk!”

“Please tell me where you are”

It was Ellie. An inner conflict was tearing you apart. You wanted to text her where you were, but fear was stronger. What does she think of you now? Does she think you're weird? Would she even want to talk to you?

With tears streaming down your cheeks, a salty taste lingering on your lips, each sob making your breath hitch more and more. Memories of the students' stares, the whispers behind your back, and most painful of all, Ellie’s frightened look when she saw your cuts… It only intensified your guilt, and, curling up even tighter, you began to cry

Trying to find something to dull the pain, you started looking for your headphones, hoping that music would help distract you. But alas, they were left in your backpack, abandoned in the hallway. Silence surrounded you, broken only by the quiet sounds of your sobs echoing off the classroom walls like echoes of pain.

While you were crying you heard soft footsteps in the hallway. This classroom was abandoned, and there was rarely anyone here but you and Ellie. You missed lectures here together, sometimes doing homework, and she was the only one who knew you could be here.

Then there was a soft creak of the door, and you realized that someone had entered. You were embarrassed to raise your head and look at the person, so you lowered your head, but as soon as the door stopped creaking, you heard a familiar, husky voice:

"Jesus...there you are"

It was Ellie, and you felt a wave of relief that she had found you. You looked up at her, and when she saw your tear-streaked face, she came right over and hugged you tightly.

“Are you okay?” — Her voice was soft and caring, warmer than it had ever sounded before.

You wanted to say it was okay, but the words wouldn’t come.

“I’m so sorry...” — Your voice shook as you hid against her shoulder, hugging her back.

“You have nothing to apologize for you didn’t do anything wrong” — Her voice, full of tenderness, soothed you like a warm blanket on a cold day.

“I’m so ashamed... everyone saw my cuts” — you whispered hoarsely, feeling the tears roll down your cheeks again, leaving a wet trail on her skin.

“Shhhh, it’s okay... it’s okay” — she soothed you, gently stroking your back as if you were the most fragile thing in the world.

You gradually began to focus on her comforting strokes, and without noticing, felt the tension slowly fade away, giving way to warmth and calm.

“I’m sorry you had to see that” — you say in a barely audible, tired voice.

Ellie pulls away slightly, and your grip on her shoulders loosens. She looks intently into your eyes, her gaze filled with support and tenderness, with not the slightest trace of judgment.

Ellie smiles gently, her gaze seeming to embrace you. With a soft touch, she gently wipes the tears from your cheeks.

“It’s okay…don’t worry” — she says softly, her voice filled with concern.

You bury yourself in her shoulder, breathing in her warm, familiar scent. At this moment, all you want is to be beside her, feeling safe and protected.

Ellie’s hand continues to stroke your back, her movements soft and soothing. This warmth, her kindness, allows you to finally relax a little, so you close your eyes, feeling the comfort she brings.

"I don't want to go to class... I'm scared" — you whisper, your voice barely audible, haunted by the thought of judgmental stares and whispers.

Ellie's hand pauses mid-stroke, and after a moment’s thought, she responds, her voice gentle and reassuring:

"We can skip lessons  today. Let’s go to my place, okay? You can rest there"

"Okay" — you murmur, your voice still tinged with pain and vulnerability.

You sit together a little while longer, her quiet presence soothing you until you feel the tension slowly leaving your body. When you finally pull away, you catch her gaze, gratitude filling you.

Ellie reaches up, brushing away the last traces of tears from your cheeks, her touch delicate, as if afraid of hurting you.

Once you gather yourself, you both leave the university. You hop onto her motorbike and this time, feeling a little bolder, lean your cheek against her shoulder, soaking up the warmth she radiates.

When you arrive at her apartment, you climb off the motorbike, feeling the weight of exhaustion setting in. Ellie opens the door, smiling softly and gesturing for you to go in first.

“Come in” — she says gently, gesturing to welcome you inside.

You nod, offering her a small, grateful smile.

Ellie steps inside after you, placing her keys on the dresser. She points to a pair of slippers near the door.

“Here, you can wear these. Make yourself at home” — Her voice is soft, and as she speaks, her hand finds yours, her thumb tracing a comforting circle on your palm.

“Thanks” — you reply softly, breaking the touch but holding her gaze with gratitude.

Looking around her cozy, apartment, you notice a few unwashed dishes in the kitchen and smile, feeling a little closer to her. It turns out, she doesn’t always have time for chores, either.

Once you reach the living room, you sit down on the couch, resting your head against the back and closing your eyes, letting yourself relax a little. Once you get to the living room, you sit down on the couch, resting your head on its back, closing your eyes and letting yourself relax a little.

You hear Ellie doing something in the kitchen, the water making a noise from the faucet. Literally a minute later, she returns and sits down next to you.

You feel her hand rest gently on your shoulder.

Startled, you open your eyes and see her holding a clean, damp cloth. Her gaze is steady, full of concern and tenderness.

“I'm sorry to ask… but could I take care of your cuts?” — she says softly, her voice carrying a quiet worry that makes you feel seen.

You meet her gaze, noticing how her concern for you is so honest, so real, that it sends a warm feeling through you.

"I appreciate it” — you say, lifting your head from the couch and speaking in a weary tone.

“But I think it’s better not to… I don’t want you to see it again… I already feel ashamed”

Ellie’s hand gently finds yours, her fingers brushing over your knuckles with a touch so comforting, you feel your tension begin to ease.

“Please” — she whispers, her voice tender and filled with sincerity.

“I can see how hard this is for you, and I want to help. I'm really worried about you”

You can’t shake the feeling that there might be pity in her eyes.

“Just… don’t pity me. It’s my own fault…” — you whisper, a quiet despair in your voice.

Without hesitation, Ellie squeezes your hand a little tighter.

“No… don’t say that” — she says gently, her voice firm. “It’s not your fault. Please, don’t blame yourself.”

She scoots closer, her shoulder now resting against yours. Her voice is barely above a whisper, yet you can hear the subtle tremble of emotion within it.

“Look... I understand how difficult this is for you, and it hurts me to see you like this. You're my best friend, and maybe I can’t fully understand what you’re going through, but at least let me take care of you. It’s the least I can do for you.”

With those words, she hugs you gently, and you feel safe in her warm embrace. As you let yourself sink into her warmth, you feel the pain ease for a few moments.

You gently pull away from her, feeling your shoulders slump and your head droop. Your gaze slides slowly down to your sleeves, and gathering your courage, you lift them, revealing your hands, covered in cut marks and dried blood.

You slowly raise your gaze to Ellie, feeling an unsettling tremor inside a fear of seeing something other than acceptance in her eyes, maybe fear or rejection. But instead, you see only a slight frown, her face showing concern and warmth. Her eyes shift from your cuts back to your face, her gaze gradually filling with tenderness and quiet understanding. Ellie gently takes your hand, stroking it with her fingers, and her voice becomes almost a whisper:

“It’s okay...” — she says it so tenderly that your heart aches at her sincerity.

Her hand moves to your wrist, and without looking away from your face, Ellie gently lifts your right hand. Her fingers barely touch your skin, as if she’s afraid to hurt you, yet every delicate movement makes you feel enveloped in her care. Her lips part slightly as though to speak, but she hesitates, choosing her words carefully.

“Don’t worry” — she finally whispers, her voice soft, like a warm embrace. “If it hurts, please tell me, okay?”

You nod, though a painful wave of shame rises within you. Your cheeks flush as you realize that Ellie is here, caring for you despite everything. You hadn’t wanted her to see you like this, but now you understand that, even in this moment, she stays with you, unwavering.

As she concentrates on your hand, you notice her gently wiping away the blood from your right hand, being careful not to touch the cuts. Every second of her tender movements brings you a sense of calm. Her expression and careful gestures show how seriously she takes each touch.

Overwhelmed by guilt and embarrassment, you murmur softly, almost inaudibly:

“I’m sorry... I didn’t want you to see this...” — Your eyes fill with tears, and you look away, hoping to hide your emotions.

Ellie notices this, and immediately she pulls you close, wrapping her arms around your neck, whispering softly in your ear:

“Shh... it’s okay. Don’t blame yourself” — she soothes, her voice warm and calming.

You feel her soft breath near your ear, which seems to strengthen you, helping you to calm down slowly.

You hug her back, nestling into her shoulder, feeling a sense of comfort and support that you had been yearning for. When Ellie gently pulls away, you notice her cheeks have a slight blush, and you can’t help but smile a little in response.

“That’s better... keep smiling it suits you” — she says with a kind smile. You smile wider, feeling warmth bloom across your own cheeks.

“Let me finish up, and then you can rest” — she continues with a gentle smile.

You nod, feeling touched by her care. Ellie finishes tending to your hand, placing it softly on your lap and gently stroking your fingers as if to encourage them to relax.

“There, one hand is all clean” — she says, her voice soothing, and her touch on your fingers brings you a deep sense of peace.

She takes your left hand and cleans it just as gently, wiping away the blood from your skin. When she’s done, her voice is a near whisper again:

“There, all clean”

“Thank you” — you whisper, covering your mouth as you yawn, the day’s fatigue finally catching up to you.

Ellie looks at you, her warm, caring gaze lingering.

“You need some rest… You look so tired”

You, feeling a little embarrassed, pull down your sleeves to cover the cuts and lower your gaze to the floor, avoiding her eyes.

“I don’t know… I’m embarrassed” — you say softly, not lifting your head.

Ellie moves closer, taking your hand in hers and stroking it affectionately, whispering:

“It’s okay, I’m right here. I just want you to get some rest” — Her voice is so calm and caring that you feel yourself relaxing.

You lean your head on her shoulder automatically, and she wraps her arms around you gently, pulling you close. Almost in a whisper, she says:

“I’m so lucky to have you as my best friend.”

“Thank you… and I’m lucky to have you” — you reply, feeling genuinely grateful and warm toward her.

Ellie pulls away slightly, still holding your hand.

“So, are you going to try and get some sleep?”

You hesitate, not knowing how to answer.

“I don’t know…”

She looks at you with a gentle smile.

“Try, please. Just a little.”

“Okay, I’ll try” — you say, agreeing.

Ellie smiles, not letting go of your hand, and slowly stands from the couch.

“Let’s go” — she says softly, pulling you up gently.

You follow her, feeling warmth from her touch. She leads you to a room that had previously been hidden behind a door. When Ellie opens it, you see a bedroom filled with personal touches that reflect her personality and hobbies.

On the walls are dozens of posters of her favorite video game characters and musicians. Soft light from a string of garland lights flickers against the walls, creating a cozy atmosphere. A thick curtain hangs beside the bed, filtering only a faint line of daylight through the window. The bed is covered with many pillows, and next to a plush kitten sits her laptop, which brings a smile to your face. In someone as mature as Ellie, you see this tender side that’s deeply endearing.

Scattered on the floor are her socks; her guitar stands by the dresser; and on the nightstand, a few comics are stacked in a messy pile. Just as you’re looking around, Ellie, slightly embarrassed, murmurs:

“Sorry… it’s a bit messy. I didn’t expect you to come over.” — Her voice is a little uncertain, but you can feel the warmth and sincerity in her tone.

You smile softly, trying to ease her embarrassment:

“Come on, Ellie… the room is very cozy.” — Gently touching one of the posters on the wall, you feel like you’re discovering a new side of her personality, every detail here showcasing her unique character.

Ellie glances at her scattered belongings and sheepishly kicks her socks under the bed. You can’t help but smile, finding her attempts at tidying up incredibly cute.

She comes closer to you, watching you as you study her room, and with her head slightly lowered, she asks:

“What do you think? You like it?” — You can see her searching your face for an answer.

“Yeah, I definitely like it.” — you say, moving to sit at the edge of the bed. Your heart starts to beat faster as she sits down beside you, and you feel her warm gaze on you.

“Don’t worry, lie down—it’s okay” — she says, her voice gentle and reassuring.

Your cheeks flush with warmth as you lay back on the bed and look up at her, feeling slightly awkward under her caring gaze. Ellie smiles, then covers you with the blanket, her movements tender and caring.

“Like this… comfortable?” — she asks, her smile warm and genuine.

“Yes, very” — you whisper, feeling safe by her side.

Ellie’s gaze lingers on your face as if ensuring you’re truly comfortable.

“Do you need anything else? Just tell me” — she says softly.

You shake your head and say quietly:

“No, I don’t need anything. You’ve already done so much for me… I’m very grateful.”

Her face lights up with a gentle smile as she brushes a stray strand of hair behind your ear, her fingers barely grazing your cheek. The touch fills you with warmth.

“I’m glad to hear that” — she replies, her cheeks turning slightly pink.

“Get some sleep you really need it. And if you need anything, I’m here for you.” — she says with smile at her face

“Okay” — you whisper softly.

“Sweet dreams” — she whispers, stepping away from the bed and moving toward the door.

You feel a slight unease as you watch her leave. The fear of being alone overwhelms you, and before you know it, you call out softly, almost a whisper:

“Wait…”

She turns, a look of mild surprise mixed with concern in her eyes.

“What is it?”

“Don’t go, please… stay with me” — you say, looking at her as if afraid she might disappear.

Without hesitation, Ellie returns, lying down beside you. Her gaze softens as she looks at you, her presence so comforting and warm. You pull the blanket over her, feeling warmth radiate between you.

“Thank you” — she whispers, her voice sounding shy, and her words make you feel even warmer inside.

Lying there together, you feel a little awkward under her gaze, but the feeling also brings you incredible peace. Her eyes are watching you closely, as if you’re in her world, safe from everything else.

Ellie gently tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear and rests her hand lightly on your shoulder as if letting you know she’s there for you.

“What did you dream about last night?” — she asks quietly, breaking the silence.

“I don’t remember… it’s been a long time since I dreamed anything” — you say, your voice calm but slightly wistful.

“Really?” — she asks, her eyes full of sympathy.

“Yeah. If I do dream, it’s usually nightmares” — You smile, hoping to reassure her a little.

Her eyes soften even more.

“I’m sorry” — she whispers, as if she truly wishes she could protect you from those dreams.

“It’s okay” — you reply gently, hoping to ease her worry.

After a pause, Ellie hesitantly asks:

“Can I hug you?”

A smile plays on your lips as your cheeks warm, and you answer:

“Of course… you don’t even have to ask” — You hear a faint tremor in your voice.

Ellie moves closer, wrapping her arms around you gently and pulling you close. Her warmth fills you to your core, and you feel as if her embrace has created a safe cocoon around you. She strokes your back softly, her breathing calm and even, like a quiet, comforting presence.

With each gentle touch, you feel an enveloping sense of comfort and safety, something you’ve longed for. Gradually, your eyelids grow heavier, and, sinking into her embrace, you drift into a deep, peaceful sleep.

A few hours pass, and you wake up to the soft sound of rain tapping against the window. As you look around, you notice that Ellie isn’t beside you, and the empty space brings a tinge of loneliness.

You take out your phone and check the time: 5:28 p.m. Monday. A quiet sigh escapes your lips — it feels like you’ve slept the whole day away without getting anything done, and a hint of frustration comes over you. The room is a bit dim due to the gloomy weather, but the gentle glow from the string lights lets you see the posters on the walls, the details of which you hadn’t noticed before. Lying there, you catch a delicious smell in the air, warm and inviting, and your stomach rumbles in response.

You get up from bed and follow the scent out of the bedroom toward the kitchen. On your way, you hear a low hum, probably from the exhaust hood.

When you approach the doorway, you see Ellie standing by the stove, her back to you, stirring something in a pot with quiet focus. A recipe video is playing softly on her phone beside her.

A smile spreads across your face as you watch her. The urge to go over and hug her crosses your mind, but instead, you gently clear your throat to let her know you’re there without startling her. Ellie turns around, her face lighting up in a warm smile when she sees you.

“Oh, hey! Did you sleep well?” — Her voice is cheerful and comforting, making you feel even cozier.

“Hey, yeah, I did” — you reply, smiling slightly.

She walks over to you and wraps her arms around you tightly. You hug her back, feeling her warmth ease the last traces of sadness.

“How are you feeling?” — she asks, pulling away just a little, her eyes filled with concern.

“Much better, thank you” — you say, smiling warmly at her.

“What are you cooking?” — you ask, inhaling the savory aroma, which only makes your hunger grow.

“Pasta and meatballs. I hope you like it” — she replies with a slight blush on her cheeks.

Hearing her answer, your eyes widen with surprise — it’s your favorite dish.

“Really?”

Ellie nods, smiling as her cheeks redden further. She remembers your love for this dish, as you’d mentioned it several times before.

“Yep, though I’m not exactly a chef… but I hope it turns out okay” — she laughs, her tone a bit shy.

You chuckle and give her a playful nudge on the shoulder.

“Don’t say that! I’m sure it’ll be delicious!” — you say with a reassuring smile.

Ellie blushes again, her fingers fidgeting slightly Her fingers touch the edge of her shirt, fiddling with it nervously

“You can sit down. It’ll be ready soon” — she says, biting her lip in embarrassment.

“Can I help with anything?” — you ask enthusiastically

Ellie’s smile widens, her eyes sparkling with slight surprise.

“You’re so sweet” — she says softly, and a warm glow spreads through you at her words.

Feeling a blush spread across your cheeks, you lower your gaze with a smile.

“Thank you” — you murmur quietly.

“If you’d like, you could set the table with plates and forks. That would be great” — she says with a grateful smile.

“Okay” — you reply, walking over to the table to set it up.

“Do you watch cooking videos on YouTube?” — you ask, glancing at the screen of her phone with curiosity.

“Well… I can’t really cook, but thanks to the internet, I haven’t starved yet!” — she laughs, and her laughter brings a smile to your face.

“Do you do that, too?” — she asks, looking at you with interest.

“Yes! I even follow a few channels and sometimes try cooking new things just for fun” — you say, noticing her smile growing wider.

“Really? And do you enjoy cooking?” — she asks, sounding a bit surprised.

"A lot! I especially like cooking things I've never eaten before" — you say excitedly.

Ellie giggles softly as she watches you, then suddenly suggests:

“How about we cook something together next time we have free time?”

Your face brightens at the idea.

“I'd love to! Maybe we can cook something edible” — you joke, and Ellie playfully nudges your shoulder.

Together, you finish setting the table, and Ellie places the food on the plates. Sitting down beside each other, you share a warm look before you begin.

“Bon appetit!” — you say with a small smile.

“Thanks, same to you! But, um, can you try it first?” — she says with a playful smile.

Raising an eyebrow, you smirk at her.

“So you're gonna test the food on me, huh?” — you tease.

Ellie laughs, her cheeks turning pink again.

“No! You're a guest, you should be first” — she replies, defending herself with a smile, and you both laugh.

“Oh, well, what an honor! Thank you” — you say, glancing at your plate, your stomach already excited for the first bite.

You take your fork and twirl the pasta onto it, carefully placing it in your mouth. As soon as the pasta touches your tongue, you taste the delicate, creamy flavor. The texture is soft, and a pleasant warmth spreads over your taste buds. You chew slowly, letting the flavor unfold, and a genuine smile appears on your face.

“This is... incredibly delicious, Ellie” — you whisper, looking at her with glowing eyes. Ellie exhales in relief, her eyes shining with joy.

“Really? I was so worried you wouldn’t like it” — she says, her smile growing even wider.

“Honestly, you cooked it perfectly” — you say with warm smile, feeling warmth overflow in your chest at her thoughtfulness.

Ellie twirls some pasta onto her fork, brings it to her lips, and chews slowly, savoring the taste.

“It is really good” — she says, smiling back at you.

“I told you it's delicious!” — you reply happily, your smile broadening further.

The two of you continue eating quietly, listening to the steady patter of rain on the window. As you eat, you catch yourself stealing glances at Ellie, watching the sweet expression on her face as she focuses on her meal.

When you finish, you smile softly, meeting her gaze with gratitude.

“Thank you so much that was delicious!” — you say, your voice filled with appreciation. Ellie smiles warmly at you, shrugging slightly.

“You’re welcome it was a pleasure to show off my ‘cooking skills’” — she jokes, and you notice a flicker of embarrassment in her eyes.

“I’ll definitely cook something delicious for you next time” — you say, wanting to return the favor.

“Oh, there’s no need, really. You’re already thanking me just by being here with me” — she replies softly, her voice filled with warmth.

A gentle blush rises to your cheeks, and you quickly get up to clear the table, hoping to distract yourself.

“Let me do the dishes” — you offer, wanting to show your gratitude.

"Are you sure? I feel a little uncomfortable" — Ellie says, frowning her eyebrows slightly.

“It’s totally fine; let me thank you” — you reply, smiling. Ellie smiles shyly, and seeing her reaction, you feel an overwhelming urge to hug her. You walk over and gently wrap your arms around her neck. Ellie chuckles, resting her head against you, her hair tickling your face.

“So you’re really going to do the dishes, huh?” — she whispers playfully.

“Yep” — you nod, still holding onto her.

You savor the embrace for a moment before pulling back, feeling your throat go dry with nervousness.

“Are you sure you don’t need help?” — she asks with gentle concern.

“I’ve got it covered. Go relax, I’ll join you in a minute” — you reassure her, picking up both plates and heading to the sink.

Ellie sits at the table for a few seconds, watching you with a fond smile, before heading back to the bedroom. As you wash the dishes, thoughts of her fill your mind. Her laughter, her gentle touch, the sincerity in her gaze... Lately, she’s the only thing that can bring a smile to your face. You begin to wonder if maybe you should give her a hint of your feelings.

Once the dishes are done, you head to the bedroom. Ellie is lying on the bed, typing on her laptop at an impressive speed. As soon as she notices you, she puts it aside.

“Did you finish the dishes?” — she asks, her voice warm.

“Yeah, all done” — you reply, standing in the doorway, nervously tugging at your hoodie’s hem. Ellie notices your shyness and smiles softly.

“Come here” — she says, reaching out her hand. You return her smile, walk over to the bed, grab a blanket to cover yourself, and lie down next to her. Ellie picks up her laptop, which is covered in so many stickers that even the brand logo is hidden. You scoot closer, sneaking a quick look at her screen.

“What are you working on?” — you ask with curiosity.

Ellie looks over at you with a warm smile.Ellie looks over at you with a warm smile.

"Sorry, I just need to log in to the game to get the daily bonus. But it takes forever to load... I guess it's the weather that makes the internet so slow” — she says, holding back a chuckle.

You can't help but laugh.

"Really? A bonus?" — you ask with a grin.

Ellie looks a little embarrassed.

"Don't laugh, it’s not funny! I need that bonus - I’m getting a cool accessory!” — she insists, her cheeks flushing.

You find this adorable and decide to tease her.

"When I saw you on your laptop, I thought you were doing something important. But you’re just waiting for your bonus... That’s hilarious!”

Both of you laugh, and her cheeks flush even deeper. She sets her laptop on the dresser and moves closer, her face glowing in the soft garland light. Her eyes sparkle with warmth, and your shoulders touch, sending a pleasant warmth through your body. Suddenly, with a playful grin, Ellie begins to tickle you. You squirm under her fingers, your laughter mixing with hers.

"STOP it!!!” — you manage between laughs, struggling to fend off her tickling attack.

Ellie laughs along with you, enjoying the moment.

"I know! Your laugh is amazing” — she says softly, admiration clear in her gaze as she watches you.

A strand of hair falls over her face, making her look even more endearing, though her relentless tickling prevents you from fully enjoying the view. Finally, gathering your strength, you wrap your arms around her neck, causing her to lose her balance slightly and fall onto the pillows beside you.

Supporting herself with her hands on either side of you, her face hovers close to yours. You feel her warm breath against your skin, her green eyes, gentle and radiant, lock onto yours, reaching the very core of you. Your heart races, and you feel an overwhelming urge to kiss her.

Taking a deep breath, you lift your hand and gently touch her cheek, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She closes her eyes momentarily, letting out a warm breath, and a delightful shiver runs through you, as if a thousand butterflies were set free inside. You run your fingers softly over her cheek, and Ellie gives a slight smile and whispers:

"You’re so beautiful…”

You can barely suppress an embarrassed smile, feeling your cheeks grow hot.

"Says the most beautiful girl in the world” — You speak in an annoying whisper,biting your lower lip.

She licks her lips almost seductively, and, feeling mesmerized, you instinctively mirror her. When you look up, her eyes are focused on your lips, and she leans in just slightly. Your heart pounds, and it feels like the world around you fades away.

You feel a chill in your arms and legs as all the blood rushes to your face, burning with heat.

Finally, unable to resist, you slowly close the space between your lips and hers, gently brushing your lips against her bottom lip. The softness and warmth make every fiber of you tremble, but a moment of fear hits you: what if she doesn’t feel the same? Just as you start to pull back, Ellie wraps her arms around you, pressing her body softly against yours and responding to your kiss.

She deepens the kiss, her lips moving with yours, and you hear her quiet exhale — the sound sparks an intense, joyful warmth in you. You hold her face a little tighter, not wanting the moment to end. Her quiet sigh ignites a rush of feelings that make you smile through the kisses.

When she gently pulls away, you open your eyes to see her flushed cheeks and the radiant smile lighting up her face. You both start to laugh, but are interrupted by a tune from her laptop. You both turn to see that her game has finally loaded. Ellie chuckles softly, closing the laptop lid, and turns back to you, her face beaming with joy.

"Aren’t you going to collect your daily bonus?” — you tease, still smiling.

Ellie laughs, nestling her face into your neck. You feel her slight weight against you as she wraps her arms around you, and you pull her closer, gently stroking her back. After a moment, she lifts her head and looks into your eyes.

"I don’t need a bonus” — she says softly

“I need you, and I want to be with you for the rest of my life”

Her words are so sincere that a warm wave sweeps over you. Gazing into her shining eyes, you finally say the words you’ve always dreamed of.

"I love you” — you say, a broad, joyful smile spreading across your face. Your heart races so hard you’re sure she must feel it too.

Her eyes widen, and her smile grows even brighter — you’ve never seen her this happy.

"I love you too” she whispers, filled with happiness, and gently cups your face, pulling you into another soft kiss.

You hug her gently, pulling her to you, not wanting this moment to end. You feel like the most loved and happiest girl in the world. You realize that Ellie is the most caring girl who deserves love, care, loyalty, happiness and you will do it at any cost.

Thank you so much for reading my story! I truly hope you enjoyed it and that it brightened your day. Remember to smile more often. Thank you! 😊

[neukdaez]

say my name

rating: explicit

member: euijoo

notes: song-inspired fic, fem!reader, brother's friend, acquaintances to lovers, kitchen sex, praise, unprotected sex, creampie, maki is your younger brother, appearance by nicholas

a/n: my birthday fic for euijoo! i know his birthday's done both in korea and in where i live lol but it's still the 7th somewhere!!!! the song i incorporated into this is deny's say my name, which is a taglish song but i included translations for the lyrics i used here. this is my first full one shot on this account too aaaa so please enjoy!

there's something inherently exciting about doing things you shouldn't do, in meeting people who are bad for you, in sneaking around behind shadows, ducking from sight as the adrenaline pumps through your veins.

your heartbeat is loud, but your footsteps are quiet.

hindi mo ba napapansin, kung ga'no kainit ang hangin? (don't you notice how the air's turned hot?)

we've all had those moments in our lives when we stare off into space, teetering on the edge of doing something incredibly reckless. a lot of us have these moments more than once. sometimes more than once a day. you've had your fair share of internal battles about a risky decision, but this is the first time you can actually feel the suffocation creeping up on you as you rattle off your internal monologue.

but first, you need to find maki and wring his neck.

your brother has a friend. nicholas. and nicholas, in turn, has another friend.

euijoo.

and maki being the outgoing person he is, quickly became euijoo's friend, too. nevermind that nicholas and euijoo are both four years older than maki and are in their junior year of college while your little weasel of a brother is still in high school.

he met them in dance class, apparently. and they're thick as thieves.

so much so that they're in your living room right now, hogging the couch while they watch dance video after dance video on the tv.

this isn't a particularly new scene to witness. maki invites them over at least twice a week, and thanks to your parents' taste for the grander things in life, your living room has more than enough space for a bunch of young men to do their thing.

again, what business two twenty-somethings have in casually coming to a seventeen-year-old's house to hang out is beyond you. but you digress.

because at least maki has the sense to make friends with cute guys.

euijoo stands out to you, in particular. you're not sure why but there's definitely something about him. maybe it's his eyes, round and cute, like little cartoon saucers. or maybe it's his height. tall men are always a plus.

whatever it is, it's what's causing your inner turmoil, the more rational part of your brain fighting it out with the part of your brain that just makes you want to throw yourself at him.

wait, what?

you're at the top of the stairs, in the tiniest tank top you own, and while your lower half is safely covered in your pajama pants, the tight fit around your waist might raise some eyebrows (or catch eyes). the reasonable voice in your head tells you to cover up. you have visitors, for god's sake! but the small, mischievous whisper tells you to fuck it, flaunt it all to your brother's hot friends.

maybe you're overthinking it.

except, you aren't, because you're not blind and definitely not stupid.

nicholas did a double take the first time you met them, eyes scanning over you quickly. he's been tame since then, only greeting you curtly, but with a friendly enough smile nonetheless. then he turns back to his phone, typing away furiously. probably texting a girlfriend.

but euijoo's eyes linger. and while that may not mean anything now, you know that men are simple creatures. sauntering in front of him wearing what you're wearing now will definitely have him looking.

maybe you want him to look.

kalamnan ay unti-unting 'di maramdaman, natitirang konsensya, 'di na rin nadatnan (can't feel my insides, can't find what little conscience i have)

you climb down the stairs, your footsteps emitting soft thuds on the carpeted floor. your eyes stay true toward the direction of the kitchen, but a movement by the couch makes you shift your gaze.

you catch euijoo's eye briefly as he cranes his neck to look at you. you're still walking, albeit a little slower now. you fight the urge to smile when euijoo lets his line of sight fall to your chest.

"hey guys," you greet nonchalantly, breaking eye contact with euijoo. you glance at nicholas this time, sitting alone on the single-seater. he smiles warmly at you, giving a small wave.

maki is too engrossed in his phone to witness anything that's happening around him, particularly with his doe-eyed friend beside him on the couch.

"can you get me a soda from the fridge?" maki calls out to you as you enter the kitchen. you roll your eyes. ugh, little brothers.

you throw the refrigerator door open, snatching the four-pack of sodas. you pull one out for yourself, kicking the fridge shut before heading back out to the living room.

you press your soda to your neck, exhaling at the sensation against your warm skin. you extend your hand between maki and euijoo from behind the couch, handing them the rest of the sodas.

euijoo takes them from you, hand brushing against yours, and god does it feel like a predictable spicy romcom moment.

"thanks," euijoo says in his sweet honey voice. his lips turn up in the smallest of smiles.

"you're welcome," you reply, keeping your expression mostly neutral, raising your eyebrows in acknowledgement.

you turn away, making your way back to the stairs. you start your ascent and just before you disappear into the second floor, you give one final peek over the banister.

euijoo smiles once more as your eyes meet.

---

you still want to wring maki's neck. but maybe also reward him with a fat wad of cash.

it's late into the night and you're sure euijoo and nicholas have left. you heard the front door slam open and shut about an hour ago and you're certain you heard maki enter his room a little after that. so you practically frolicked down into the kitchen, in dire need of a midnight snack. your parents are conveniently off at an overnight business function so no one would give you shit for banging around with the pots and pans.

you're in the process of rummaging through the ramyeon drawer, scrutinizing the different flavors, when you hear a noise behind you. your heart seizes up in your chest as you spin around, bracing yourself against the counter, eyes wide in shock.

"euijoo?!"

the young man stands in the kitchen doorway, clad in what you can only identify as sleepwear of his own. his face mirrors yours, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape.

"sorry, just wanted to get some water," euijoo quickly apologizes, holding his hands out defensively.

you exhale, stance relaxing as you watch him shuffle uncertainly towards the other side of the kitchen. the only thing that stands between the two of you is the kitchen island.

"maki didn't tell me you guys were sleeping over," you point out, ramyeon long forgotten behind you.

"then again, he never tells me anything," you add. euijoo chuckles.

he's retrieved a glass from a cupboard and before you can think further ahead, you reach over to the fridge beside you, ducking to get the pitcher from within.

it's now that you realize that you're practically sticking your ass out for euijoo to ogle at. you nearly giggle at the thought.

you straighten up, turning to place the water on the island. euijoo is leaning over the marble, eyeing you. you're not quite sure how his expression reads, but you smile politely, sliding the pitcher towards him.

"where's maki, anyway?" you ask.

"with nicholas. nico brought his car and they, uh...," euijoo trails off, silencing himself as he pours the water into his glass.

you cock your head to the side. "did you just send my underage brother out to buy alcohol?"

euijoo purses his lips, not saying a word. he clears his throat, seemingly suppressing a smile.

you exhale, pinching the bridge of your nose. opening your eyes, you see euijoo is looking at you over the rim of his glass as he drinks. you stare back, crossing your arms.

"well, i had my suspicions," you declare. "i started around his age, too."

euijoo nods, setting his glass down. "i see where he gets it from."

you narrow your eyes and euijoo looks back at you innocently.

"why didn't you go along with them?" you question, leaning over the island casually. you're still wearing the tank top from earlier and euijoo doesn't hide the fact that he's still looking.

to his credit, there seems to be the faintest blush on his cheeks. so, he's not completely shameless, at least.

"and leave you here alone? come on, i'm more of a gentleman than that," euijoo says, tone easy. he plants his hands on the island, mirroring you as he leans closer across from you.

i wanna do the things i never tried with ya', i wanna hear you say my name now, won't ya'

"that's very thoughtful of you," you supply appreciatively. euijoo smiles.

"the pleasure is mine, _______."

the sound of your name leaving euijoo's lips sends you back to the hypothetical edge, standing over a steep drop into shame.

are you really this kind of older sibling? flirting with your brother's friend, dressed in ridiculously thin clothing, practically laying yourself out on a big, wide, flat surface? you might as well spell it out for him at this point.

"when are they coming back?" you ask, resting your chin on your palm. you're properly bent over the island now. if euijoo had no idea a few minutes ago, he sure as hell knows what's up by now.

euijoo turns his back to you for a moment, placing the now empty glass in the sink. he looks down at you from where he's standing and glances away briefly as if thinking.

"in a bit," he begins, coming around the counter. your breath hitches as you follow him with your eyes, heart thumping as he stops behind you.

you turn, leaning back against the marble now as euijoo watches you. every blink, every time you shift your weight, every breath, it feels like he's taking it all in.

"it's a friday night, so the traffic might be hell out there," euijoo points out. "i'd say that's another twenty minutes or so. give or take."

baby, hindi na makahinga, i'm suffocating pero hindi masama (baby, can't breathe anymore, i'm suffocating, but it's not bad)

"what do you wanna do till then?" you press on, batting your eyes at the man in front of you. one side of his mouth turns up in a smirk.

he's cute enough that it looks almost endearing. but the sparkle in his eye points to something else.

"whatever takes twenty minutes or so to do," euijoo suggests with a raise of his brow. he steps closer and you're almost toe to toe.

i kinda like it, adrenalina'y tumatakbo, dibdib ay kumakabog, sa tubig kinakapos (i kinda like it, adrenaline's running, chest is pounding, running short on water)

you reach out but euijoo beats you to whatever you're trying to do. his hand circles your wrist as he moves even closer.

kalamnan ay unti-unting 'di maramdaman, natitirang konsensya, 'di na rin nadatnan (can't feel my insides, can't find what little conscience i have)

euijoo's other hand lays on your hip. he ducks his head so he's level with your face. you breathe in and euijoo grins.

isang utos mo lang, hindi na mahindian, bae (just one command and i can't say no to you, bae)

in your head, you're cursing how he's so stupidly hot and cute and charming at the same time that you'd have no problem doing whatever it is he wants you to.

"kiss me," euijoo dares, eyebrows rising for a second, as if in challenge.

it's embarrassing how loud you moan once euijoo's lips are on yours. your hands immediately come up to cup at his face and his own palms smooth around your waist, up your back, before descending again to ultimately rest on your ass.

euijoo is a damn good kisser and you can barely keep up with every slide of his tongue on yours and every pass of his lips over your parted ones.

euijoo's hands move to your shoulders, pointer fingers hooking through the thin straps of your top, pulling them down. you gasp against euijoo's mouth, your chest exposed in its near entirety.

you pull back, watching with labored breaths as euijoo tugs the front of your shirt down, letting one of your tits hang out. you bite your lip as he takes ahold of it, squeezing gently. his other hand maneuvers itself beneath the waistband of your pajamas, wriggling under your underwear, before finally finding purchase against the heat between your legs.

it's pathetic, really, how quickly you turn to putty under euijoo's touch. a man you've known for barely a few weeks, pulling at your every string, playing you like a fiddle.

"cute," euijoo murmurs, leaning in to plant a brief kiss on the side of your mouth.

euijoo draws small, tight circles on your clit and you squirm, knuckles white as you grasp onto the counter behind you. you tuck your chin against your chest, squeezing your eyes shut when you feel euijoo tease at your entrance.

euijoo's hold on your breast disappears and instead, he gently handles one side of your face, tilting your head up. you meet his eyes just as he plunges one finger into you.

your eyes flutter shut and euijoo kisses you again, hot and messy and slick with both of your spit. he adds another finger and you whine, hips stuttering against his hand. your knees feel weak and you're convinced they're ready to give out.

euijoo pumps in and out of your slowly, letting your wetness coat his fingers. he curls his digits just as he pushes up and you clench down, a pleasurable heat spreading across your body.

"fuck, euijoo," you whisper. he pulls back slightly, observing your expressions.

"tell me when you're close," euijoo instructs. his voice has dropped, making you shiver.

euijoo picks up his speed, curling his fingers periodically, movements almost calculated like he's done this a million times before. the thought of euijoo being experienced, mastering the ins and outs of this, makes your whole body prickle with excitement.

"c-close," you manage to whimper out.

euijoo maintains his speed but presses harder and harder each time against your spongy walls. you clamp a hand over your mouth as you feel your belly tighten.

"euijoo, i'm gonna—oh my god!"

your orgasm wipes all coherent thoughts from your head, knocking the air out of you in one fell swoop. euijoo wraps an arm around your torso, keeping you upright as you ride your high out on his fingers. he presses his lips to your temple as you start to calm down, chest rising and falling rapidly.

euijoo pulls his hand from your pajamas, holding your gaze as he licks his fingers clean of you. your face burns but you can't look away, mesmerized by the way his lips and tongue move.

don't gotta get emotions if it's okay with ya', but I might fuck around and catch feelings for ya'

euijoo smiles, eyes raking over your disheveled form.

"we better hurry," euijoo speaks up, dipping down to kiss you. you taste yourself faintly on his mouth,

you tug your pajamas and underwear down, letting them fall to the floor. you kick them off to the side, pulling back as euijoo does the same. your eyes travel down to see his cock standing red and angry against his stomach.

"like what you see?" euijoo asks playfully, a hand coming down to stroke at his shaft a few times.

you bite down on your lip, trying to suppress a grin. euijoo chuckles, large hands taking hold of your hips. he maneuvers you to face away from him, your front digging into the marble of the kitchen counter.

you lean forward, letting your front squish against the surface, back arched perfectly. you hear euijoo whistle lowly, a hand smoothing down your back.

"looking good, _______," euijoo compliments, knees knocking against your thighs, signaling you to part them. you adjust your stance, exposing more of yourself to euijoo.

"that's it," euijoo mutters and you feel something poke against your waiting hole.

you let out a mix of a sigh of relief and a choked-up sob as you feel euijoo push in. you crane your neck to see what euijoo's doing and his eyebrows are knit together, concentration on his features as he fills you all the way in.

you see his eyes roll into the back of his head as he bottoms out, hands automatically gripping at your waist, keeping you steady.

euijoo starts moving and your head drops onto the counter. the stretch feels euphoric, euijoo's cock dragging deliciously against your walls.

"euijoo," you whine. his hips snap up repeatedly, pace starting to pick up as he loses himself in your cunt.

"so good," euijoo whispers. "you feel amazing, _______."

you preen at his words, burying your face in your folded arms. the angle lets him hit that spot deep within you perfectly and you already feel the beginnings of your second orgasm creeping up.

you gasp softly as you feel fingers tangling themselves in your hair and you cry out fully when you feel euijoo tug your head back by your locks.

"fuck, come here, angel," euijoo implores, an arm around your midsection as he pulls you against him.

euijoo's holding you up all by himself and you let him, too weakened by the way he's fucking into you.

euijoo's movements quicken, thrusts turning shallow as he ruts against you. you wonder for a moment if it's possible to go mad over cock. the thought is a ridiculous one, but with the way euijoo fucks you, harsh yet contained, with all the finesse and enthusiasm combined, you start to think it might not be too much of a stretch.

euijoo presses his mouth behind your ear, sucking lightly and you shiver, his breath tickling your sensitive skin.

"where?" euijoo asks, voice strained. it's obvious he's holding his release back.

it takes you a second to register his question and euijoo grunts softly, movements now erratic.

"where do you want it, angel?" euijoo repeats.

"inside," you say, walls clenching down as you feel your own orgasm approach. "please, inside."

it doesn't take long for euijoo's hips to stutter, fucking into you at a brutal pace for a few seconds before he stills, spilling himself deep in you. the feeling of him finishing inside sends you over the edge in turn, euijoo's name falling loudly from your mouth.

euijoo lets go of you and you slump over the counter, sweaty and spent. he slowly pulls out and you wince, pushing yourself upright with shaky arms.

"put this on, quick," euijoo reminds, handing you your underwear and bottoms. "before you, uh, make a mess on your kitchen floor."

you blush violently at his words, hurriedly pulling your clothes back on. euijoo does the same, wordlessly putting on his pajama pants.

you make eye contact and a second goes by without either of you saying a word. a moment later, the two of you burst out in silent giggles.

"i'd say that was about twenty minutes," euijoo comments, rubbing the back of his neck, a sudden shyness overcoming his demeanor.

before you can get a word out, you hear the front door slam open, hushed voices carrying through the house to the kitchen.

"_______? are you awake?" maki asks.

you and euijoo exchange a look.

[righteous-r0de0]

i saw a bunch of other people doing this so

random redacted headcanons!

- vincent can’t handle spicy food very well, even post-turning

- ivan hates fishing

- david loves egg salad sandwiches with hot sauce (it’s his favorite comfort food)

- caelum has never had cotton candy and freelancer is pretty sure if he ever did, he would implode

- gavin doesn’t like snow

- lasko on the other hand LOVES spicy food and testing his tolerance to certain things

- damien doesn’t drink coffee or tea or energy drinks, this man is just out here raw-dogging life

- kody still tries to look at all the damn crew’s socials, even though they all have him blocked

- huxley (opposite of damien) gets his caffeine anyway he can but his favorite are the caffeine pouches (similar to zyns (these are also my favorite))

- asher loves watching mma fights and tries (gently) to recreate the moves on babe (“i could have dropped you just then! you gotta keep your guard up!”)

- james “i’m exploding you with my mind” redacted

- marcus begged his mom for a mohawk in middle school but he didn’t have the right texture hair for it and she refused to buy him all the hair gel necessary to make it a real mohawk so they just had to shave his head (kids thought he had lice)

- anton loves sending and receiving physical mail. he knows it’s impractical in comparison to texting or calling, but he loves it

- ollie has a favorite blanket, pillow, and set of sheets. he’s very particular about his bedtime routine

- elliot however could drop anywhere at anytime. and that’s nothing to do with him being a dreamwalker. he’s just a fantastic sleeper

- brachium has never had candy, but he’s curious about it

- avior really really likes classical music and it’s brought him to tears multiple times (especially jupiter comp. by gustav holst iykyk)

- milo holds the door open for everyone whenever he can. sweetheart once thought he was following them for like fifteen minutes but he was still stuck at the door

- cam loves fresh produce and is a frequenter of any local farmers market

- blake had a phase in middle school and early high school where he was super patriotic and right-wing leaning and he hates when people bring it up

- aaron actually knows most of the shaw pack boys. he tried to hire them for an event before realizing they were an empowered company. david thought he knew

- sam showed pigs and sheep when he was younger. he kinda misses it but he doesn’t have the room for livestock anymore

- vega in all his years of existing both in aria and on earth has never been truly hugged

- before falling, regulus lived on earth with his charge. they had two cats

- xavier used to travel ridiculous amounts of miles to go to food festivals around the country. he took the team with him once or twice

- geordi never deleted any pictures of him and cutie. he’s still hopeful that things will work out and he doesn’t want to get rid of older memories with them

- guy was friends with a lot of the unempowered boys in school, but lost touch with them in college

- morgan is very into hair-care. his shower looks like an apothecary shop full of mystery vials and oils. he knows what everything is and how to use it though.

- porter loves classic literature and translating latin to english. it’s one of the few hobbies he allows himself to have

- hush once traipsed into doc’s apartment, mud up to his knees and all over his face and hands, holding a bull frog. he only came to ask what it was.